Saturday, December 29, 2007

My God, I'm Fat!!!

That was my initial reaction after I weighed myself yesterday morning. I'm not sure if the scale was already broke or if I broke it. Only thing left to weigh me on is the Richter scale. Blowing this out of proportion...possibly. Have I got a problem...definitely! It was only a little over a year ago that I weighed a trim 180 and in the best shape of my life. I look to find that I hit 212! This really sunk in when I tried wearing a suit I hadn't worn in a while and I damn near couldn't fit the pants, how embarrassing. I've decided not to mope about it and do something. This is not a New Year's resolution, just a goal. If I made it a resolution it would be doomed for failure. I start working out today and having spent my time yesterday compiling an ultimate motivating workout play list, I have the following:

Ultimate Workout List

1. “She Sells Sanctuary” – The Cult (great starter)
2. “Lay it Down” – Ratt
3. “Mr. Scary” - Dokken
4. “Cowboys From Hell “– Pantera
5. “Walk In the Shadows” - Queensryche
6. “Stone Cold Crazy” – Metallica
7. “Shout It Out” or “Do You Like It” – Kingdom Come
8. “Tear It Down” – Def Leppard
9. “The Real Me” – W.A.S.P. (Who cover)
10. “Get the Funk Out” – Extreme
11. “Surfing With the Alien” or “Summer Song” – Joe Satriani

I chose these because they had no lull periods, riffs I'm fond of and a great variety of artists. Don't knock the list 'til you've tried it.

Now for those who want to sit on their arse and not do anything, I have compiled a list of redneck/white trash bands from the 80's that didn't take off, enjoy!

1. “Somebody Shave Me” – Cinderfella
2. “Grease Sells, Who’s Fryin’ “- Megameth
3. “Janie’s Got a Gun…Again” – Aeroshirt
4. “Time For Me to Fry” – REO Powerwagon
5. “Holdin’ Back the Beers” – Simply Redneck
6. “Skoal’s Gone” – Pall & gOates
7. “Free-Ballin’ ” – Richard Petty & The Fartbreakers
8. “Pour Some 40 Weight On Me” – Def Heffer
9. “Drink Police” – Cheap Truck
10. “I’m All Out Of Bud” – Beer Supply

Thursday, December 27, 2007

I Said What About (Insert Name of Establishment Here)?

One thing I hate is when people mis quote me or reorganize a thought I shared at any given time. For instance, this year I got giftcards to places I like. But, I did manage to get a "what the hell" moment while being told how they chose those particular giftcards. I was told that I happened to mention (probably 2 years ago and only once) that I liked a particular restaurant and made quite a fuss about it...huh?? Why is it that I talk non stop about certain stores or restaurants and yet they filter out of that one particular positive comment of an establishment that didn't mean much and from so long ago? How does this happen?

Perhaps next year, I'll talk with Santa once(and only once) about the Bunny Ranch in Vegas and maybe I'll get a Ho to go with the HO HO HO.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas...Shitter's Full!

This will be on my TV by later in the afternoon as custom every year. Enjoy your day!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Random Photo Opp.

This is one of my 2 dogs that I have, both Dachshunds. This just cracked me up something fierce when I was able to get this picture. She's had a lot of great photo moments, but every time I try to get my phone or camera to take a picture, she's catches on and ruins the pose. This was indeed a rare moment, the dog has super powers of hearing, I'm convinced.

Kinda looks like radar, ay?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Added Christmas Joy ala the Boondocks Part II

This is what happens after the letter. I still think it's hilarious a year later.

Added Christmas Joy ala the Boondocks

I mentioned the Boondocks, so for those who are easily offended, don't play this. Please keep in mind that I am an equal opportunity offender.

Christian County Tax Collector: Ted Nichols

Okay, I don't know about how people outside of Christian County deal with their property tax statements (for the home), but here our tax collector mails them to us and not our mortgage lender. I've lived in a lot of places around the country and for me, this was a first. I can't understand why I get the statement, it would cost the same to mail it to my bank and not me. I don't know if it is because of a lack of effort or lack of knowledge. Does anybody else have a problem with this?

Monday, December 17, 2007

The Scrooge Report

Some one I know told me that she was asked to come in to work at Walmart around midnight on Christmas Day. They did this to her last year and they tried to do it again this year. When she said no, they decided to call her in on her day off a few days after Christmas. She is normally off on Wednesdays and Thursdays so they shorted her a day that week, afterall, they didn't want her to miss out on "holiday pay." Does anybody want to take this time to report a Scrooge?

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Mission Impossible: Phase 3 Random Acts of Kindness

Things are actually starting to look up for me. Today, I find myself at Bestbuy getting some things and had some discount coupons I printed off. I had a few extra so,while checking out I got a great idea and started handing them off to people at random while finishing up. I got a few mixed reactions, mostly the "confused" look and a few genuine thanks from others. This got me to thinking about doing this as a future behavior change for me. I'm going to start handing out any extras I can print or cut out for people, it really made me feel good knowing I was able to save people some money.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Uh Yeah...About Those Inches...

This is not a complaint, think of it as more of a friendly jab to a certain *eh hem* weather man that supported the huge snowfall expectation for today. Funny, ain't it just like a man to promise around 8 inches and not deliver?

Friday, December 7, 2007

Is It Just Me Or...

I know these things have been out for a while, but it just finally sunk in. So, is it me or do these things look a bit...mmmmm, not right? I actually had to get one of these for my niece for Christmas and when I put this damn thing in my cart, I instantly felt like Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC was going to pop out and start asking me a bunch of awkward questions. I know this is what she wants, but damn!
Far be it for me to say this, but if these things were twice their normal size, they'd be in an adult bookstore (the one pictured is 2ft tall). I actually read on the box that it was for ages 4 and up. What the deuce, man! This is soft porn for pedophiles. I can't be alone in thinking this, can I?

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Mission Impossible: Phase 2

Here's another way for me to get from the pissing and moaning I've associated with the holidays. As a kid, I always enjoyed "The Year Without a Santa Claus". To keep me nudged in the right direction, I'll watch these 2:

And who can for get about this one too:

This always seemed to work for me as a kid, I hope it still does now. I'll make it a point to watch these every day along with the others phases I have planned.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Mission Impossible: Getting in to the Christmas Spirit

Before I became a born-again college student, I worked retail for over 10 years. In that time, I grew to dread and despise the holiday seasons(Thanksgiving-New Years) with a passion. I came to associate the seasons with stress and it is a hard thing to shake. The only thing that gets me now is finals and that's not as bad as it used to be. So, I have put a mission in front of me to enjoy the holiday seasons and make the most of it as I possibly can. I'm going to try different things to try and achieve this and I hope everyone will enjoy or join in with me.

I'll start by slowly weening myself from the nasty attitude I have toward the holiday season with a scene from my favorite Christmas film "Scrooge". I can't help it, this song makes me smile.">

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Manning Up...Or So They Wish.

Oh, how I can't stand the Manning brothers. Let me count the ways, one, two...FUMBLE!!! Seriously, even when they win they're annoying and equally boring to watch. I am so sick of the Manning's and the 5 year old nephew whines less they they do. I still can't believe that Peyton didn't choke on the way to the Lombardi trophy. Also, a 50 year old condom will give you more protection than the Giant's offensive line (I'd like to use a smaller font when stating "offensive line" just to show how impotent they are).
Ya know, if Cher was a man, she'd be Peyton Manning. He even sounds like a male Cher. Why all the Manning hate fest? Three reasons: (1)Because I can, (2) Because it's damn funny and (3) Because I'm not alone! (End Rant)

Saturday, December 1, 2007

An Ethical Question

Finally I get a chance to catch up on the blog. Between having 3 tests and 3 papers to write, well it's been hellatious. Anyway, I was curious as to how some of you might think if posed this question. Do you think it's wrong to be AGAINST abortion rights yet FOR capital punishment? I had an interesting conversation with a class acquaintance over this issue and he had no problem of being AGAINST abortion rights and FOR capital punishment. I see it as a bit, well...fuctup. Yes, I believe that's the scientific term used. I myself feel that taking a stand like that could be compared to being kinda pregnant. Either you are or aren't, pick a side and stay on it. I can't help being irritated at the lack of commitment. Anybody wanna take a crack at this?