Sunday, December 27, 2009

We've All Lost Our Damn Minds!

Over the last few months, there has been a bit of a recurring theme. Most of it was true, albeit a bit tounge-in-cheek, but true. We've all lost our damn minds and here's how: We have become a people of Lost Temperament.

That is my diagnosis and that became more apparent when I watched "A Christmas Story" for the millionth time the other day. Have we really changed that much as a people? Nay, I say. Our needs haven't changed, just our temperament. We are now a people that are impatient, ill mannered and inattentive. The culprit? TECHNOLOGY!

Think about it. Watch "A Christmas story" or something very similar. Now, think about how nice and uncluttered we were back then. Take the Christmas season as an example. There were no gift cards, no WII/Playstation/Xbox, no cellphones/smartphones, no email/internet, etc... And yet, if you ask me, if given the chance, I'd go back to those times in a heartbeat. Simplicity. 20 years ago, what was on your Christmas list?

The way I see it, technology has made us a people that, if we don't see results now, that is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE! Rush, rush, rush(remember when that word actually meant something and not some inflamed hemorrhoid's name?). We have Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, Blackberry, Droid and Treos. We have the aforementioned game systems, laptops/netbooks, all with high speed internet. When something doesn't download fast enough, you lose your damn mind don't you? Admit it, you do.

But doesn't this mean we are different then we were then? Didn't 9-11 change us? Nah, we had our share of paranoia. Remember some paranoid dipshit named McCarthy? Back then it was Communism(still is to some becktards). Today it's Muslims(actually it's fundamentally radical Islam hijacked by extremists, you know, like Christianity is with John Hagee...even though he hasn't killed anyone...yet).

We are a people(mostly this country) of mass consumption. That isn't new either nor is demand. We are seeing the peak hit and the repercussions of this behavior. Anyone lost yet?

Tell you what, this post is VERY scattered and was intended as such. If I really wanted to put everything I wanted here, it would be too long of a post and I don't dedicate that kind of time to my post posts, I don't have that kind of time or patience(wink, wink).

This post was meant to serve as some food for thought as we reach the end of this year. The main point is that we haven't changed, just our behaviors/temperament. Think about that next time you hear a "new" song on satelitte radio or see a "new" flick in IMAX theaters. Nothing is new, just our behaviors/temperamant...our interpretaions. Look carefully through this post. If you don't see a "book in the works" worth of information here, then you may be a victim of what I just posted on...or an idiot.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this scattered thoughts post.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Have A Head Bangin' Christmas!

Expect no less from me.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I'm watching A Christmas Story...24 hours of it.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Skoal Brothers Christmas, I've Lost My Damn Mind

I think I already posted this before. So what? It gets a return visit, deal.

Skoal Brothers Xmas

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the trailor.
My sister woke up, while I was trying to nail 'er.
The socks was all hung, on my big mounted bass,
In hopes that St. Leon would be hauling ass.
The young'uns bunked down, all snug on the floor,
Each one had a dip, so they slept near the door.
Sis in her 105 shirt, and her John Deere cap,
Looked purty as a naked silouhette on a truck mud flap.
When out in the dog pen, there arose such a clatter,
I got up from sis, to see what was the matter.
When what to my swollen red eyes should I see,
A pink Coup De Ville, 1973.
He staggered so much, I thought, "What was he on"?
And could I buy some of that, from old St. Leon?
All my dogs started barkin, he started to shout,
Dog's hate St. Leon, you figure it out.
"Hey Whitey, Hey Crackerboy", he called me by name,
So I called off my dogs, and hauled up the game.
When he stepped on my porch, there was such a vibration,
I thanked God I installed a concrete foundation.
He was dressed all in fur, and chains made of gold,
On his feet were Air Jorden's, I 'specked he stoled.
Yes, he had toys, there was no mistakin,
But I still wasn't sure if he was given, or taken.
It was then that he pulled a knife from his sack,
As I readied myself for a Leon attack.
St. Leon surprised me and gave me great glee,
When he gift wrapped the knife, and put it under the tree.
He continued by filling the socks up with skoal,
His good deeds made me feel, like a major bung hole.
Then layin' his finger on the gold stud on his nose,
He said, "Hey Opey Taylor, I gots to goes".
He jumped in his caddy, and turned on the ignition,
Drove down the dirt road, to continue his mission.
I heard him yell out, as I opened a beer,
"Hey you honky white trash, see you mo'fo's next year".

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this holiday bedtime story

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Next Time Someone Says Their Place is a Dump, Remeber This...

Can't help but share this. As Randy Quaid would agree, this here's an RV!(Don't know if the shitter's full, but...) All I can say is this would be a hell of a way to live, seriously.

So remember, when some guy tells you his place is a dump and has a bit of a smirk when he says it, take it with a grain of salt.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and my shitter's full.

Monday, December 14, 2009

People Who watch Golf on TV...Have You Lost Your Damn Mind???

Gee, I wonder where this is going to lead off into? First and foremost, I hate golf. I also hate watching it on TV. Don't hate on me, I tried both and all either really accomplished was encouraging me to drink heavily again. Especially on TV, I got up to mow the yard, weed-eated/edged, swept the driveway, came back to the TV and I missed all of...60 minutes of watching guys walk with one guy carrying the other guy's shit. If I want to be exposed to more shit like this, I'll just go to work at Wal-Mart. Why would you people watch this butt-ass boring sport on TV, at least NASCAR has an element of watching someone crash(WRC racing rules both of their asses). Either way you look at it, golf sucks! Find something responsible to do with all that real estate that anyone can enjoy for Christ's sake.

Now, moving along, Tiger...Tiger...Tiger. What the hell were you thinking??? That's rhetorical as any man reading this knows damn well what he was thinking. Next time Tiger says he wants to get in a quick 9 holes, do you think he's really talking about golf? Think about it. But can you really blame him? The guy's major sponsor has a slogan of "Just Do It". Still, Tiger, ya done fucked up you silly bastard.

I blame the loose broads he popped the trunk on as well. I saw Jamie Jungers(unfortunately) on the Today show:

The only thing missing from that stage was a pole and loud music. That and quite possibly a pimp off-stage somewhere. That damn broad looked like she just came off of working a trick. DAMN! Clearly, Tiger likes his side action to be stupid. You could do that same interview again with just the hair in the chair and you wouldn't notice the difference.

You know, I wanted to wait to see exactly what would come out of this before saying anything about it, didn't want to jump the gun or anything, especially with Tiger being cryptic and all. I see the whole thing as 50/50 for fault, but the real victim is his wife(possibly soon to be ex) and kids.

Anyway you slice it, this couldn't have happened to a better butt-ass boring sport than golf. I have a great idea, let's take Tiger's golf course(hell, why not all of 'em while we're at it) and turn it over to a Le Corbusier type designer and have that course turned into high rise housing for low income people. This way, the poor folks get a chance to look down on the rich bastards that enjoy doing nothing more than looking down on them. BOO-YAH!

I am the Complaint Department Manager, don't mind me, just playing through.