Wednesday, December 29, 2010

That Ain't Right!!!

I haven't done this in quite a while, so I'm doing it now for the last time this year. Some of you already know what to do, but for those of you who don't, I will elaborate. This is more or less an open thread, but you get the opportunity to say what's pissed you off in the last week or so. Say it here and leave it here, maybe you'll feel better.

So, family staying with you recently getting on your last damn nerve? Tell us all how it wasn't right. Just a little food for thought.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this last post of the year.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy Holidays!!!

Yeah. that's right, "Happy Holidays". I am so damn sick of people trying to correct me when I want to do something so simple and courteous like wish them a great holiday season. Seriously folks, if you have a bitch about people that want to say "happy Holidays" over the simple "Merry Christmas" then I have some mistletoe hanging right above my ass, right over the crack with your name on it!

Besides, I do have my reasons for saying that. So, when some holiday douche dejour corrects me, I ask them, "So, you don't want me to wish you a Happy New Year at the same time?" Yep, "Happy Holidays" covers New Year's as well. But my reason is because I know there are other holidays out there that some may observe that I may or may not be aware that they might have an interest in BESIDES Christmas. You have Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, Winter Solstice...DAMN, lets throw in the new Festivus in there as well, shall we?

A TRUE person of goodwill will want their fellow patrons of the rock that we live on a happy holiday, REGARDLESS of their religious/non-religious designation. Is there a war on Christmas? Grow up, no and there never was. There IS however, an uprising of people who are forcing their beliefs on us because they STILL believe that this is a "Christian nation"...uh, no, it's not and know your history. This country was explored by settlers that want religious freedom from the oppressive Church of England. In other words, freedom FROM religion.

Bottom line, this post was to address the people who look at this holiday season as being NOTHING but about Christmas. So, tell me something you "chosen ones", You really think this being selfish like that is the Christian way to be? Think about it.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this "holiday" message.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Poll Results: COMPROMISE!!!

Just to show just how cool and benevolent I am, I will attempt to make ALL parties happy. That's right I said, "attempt". I can't help myself, I just like making everyone happy whenever possible, it's what makes me so freakin' cool! By the way, have I ever mentioned that I am humble? I am NOT afraid to show how humble I am, no effort is too great.

So, this whole exchange with the idiot known as "Ferry" will come to a close as I have decided to send all his future correspondence to the spam folder. However, I wasn't going to let this go without a parting shot in the spirit of Christmas. Everyone, I give you...THE END:


Seeing as how you have made it known on 2 occasions that you wanted me to "Shut up and go away!!!!!!!!!", which is your way of saying you have nothing intelligent to respond with other than out of date conjecture, I am getting into the Christmas spirit and have decided to give you 2 gifts. I'll elaborate about how silly your tactics are at the end.

Gift #1: You will no longer be hearing from me and I will actually be a man of my word, unlike you. From here on out, anything you send me will go straight to the spam folder. You've made it clear that you know nothing but childish antics and inbred thoughts. There is a reason for that. What is it? That leads me to gift #2.

Gift #2: I'm going to give you the gift of why you lose every time you face an intellectual, it's your "anger". Every time you can't answer a question with something other than a cheap insult or limp threat, you lose the argument every time. It's laughable...pathetic, but laughable.

So, I'm sure you'll respond to this(because you just can't help yourself) and when you do, it will go into the spam folder and it won't be seen or heard from again. I'm setting the folder to purge in a week, then I'm going to make it every day. The reason is because initially, I want to see the number in my spam content go up and every time, I'll know it's you further proving my point...each...and...every...single...time. I'm going to look at that number and smile, then laugh because you are that dense.

Merry Christmas, Ferry!(See how silly that is?)

So, now we have all seen another post on this idiot, yet also have seen it come to a close, thus the "attempt" to make everyone happy. I have made the most of the effort in the poll and passed the savings on to you.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don't want you to be a "Ferry".

Monday, December 13, 2010

BEHOLD! The True Face of Ignorance and Despair

To anyone who might consider themselves a Conservative, the following expose into the psyche of a tea party enthusiast, will give you great insight and reason as to WHY Liberals and Progressives feel the way they do about Conservatives.

To Liberals and Progressives, I ask that you not only look at this, but take this as an opportunity to make sure you or no one you know that feels and thinks as you do conducts themselves in a manner as I am about to show you. The last thing we need is THIS kind of behavior being linked to us.

For the sake of anonymity, I'm not going to use his real name or mine. My benevolence is amazing, isn't it? So, here's the kind of person that shows up in D.C. and town halls with misspelled signs, guns and misplaced anger.

This actual exchange is originating from a Progressive who simply wanted to exchange dialogue in a professional and respectful manner. The answer to that request is what will be listed below. Here's a few words from our brilliant mind, who I'll call..."Ferry" for now:

Well, I'm not really out to have a chat buddy so to speak. I'm firstly a non-liberal individual in the highest degree. I'm a twenty year retired Air Force sergeant that really takes offense to anyone that would slam, slur or anyway downgrade our fine men and women who serve this country that I love. A lot of folks who have never served tend to like to do that. Secondly, that SOB in the White House makes me want to puke. He is a disgrace to our country and to the office that some people gave him. Not me of course!! I'm a person who has read both the republican and democrat platforms. Although neither is perfect, I could in no way ever support the dems beliefs and philosophy's. As far as the media thing goes, I believe that it's a freedom of speech thing and that it shouldn't be touched. I have for the most part come to see that most of them are leaning or are way left, except FOX News. Many call them extreme right. I kind of like that in our present stage in this country. I guess you lost me with the product thing. If you mean false advertising, then if not having the brainpower to check something out before you buy it, that's your fault. If that's what you mean? Your buddy, (me) there has told me that I should be open minded. If what the dems support is being open minded, then I'll not be having anything to do with that. Here's what you get in me. I believe in God, Family and Country. I, like most tend to not be the best Christian in the world, but my values and morals stand pretty true to scripture. My family comes before anything in my life and I'm a flag waving, gun toten, Constitution believing individual. I wouldn't have spent twenty years of my life serving, if I didn't believe in it. I'm not open minded to homosexuals, lesbians, illegal aliens or any race that thinks that due to their color they should have precedence over me and mine. We all work, we all pay our taxes and we are all equal in the eyes of god. To murder, rape, steal and many more is against the law. I believe in an eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth, bible thing ya know. I believe in capital punishment. If I could change the laws, a person would get one appeal and that's it. Science has come to a point that DNA can pretty well prove most things. (Me, again) tells me that I have a prejudice against MUSLIMS, I'd say that's right! In Korea, they used to tell us to keep a watch out for North Koreans or the bad guys. The problem with me was, how the hell do you tell the difference, they all look alike? That's kind of my opinions with the MUSLIMS. I'm of the opinion that if your belief is to kill me, then a duck is a duck, you can't change that. I'm proud for you that you've done well financially, and that you are self sustaining. I too am a believer in such things as solar and wind. I was just this weekend looking into a windmill system here for my home to help reduce the amount of electricity that I have to pay for. Mr. (Progressive), I'm not going to get into a long discussion with you over your beliefs and how you are going to straighten me out for (Me, thrice). I'm getting to an age that I really don't give a shit what you or anyone else thinks. Your buddy has proven to be one of those people that likes to tell everyone what he thinks is right and wrong. A know it all if you will. When he started attacking my dad, that was my cue to move in. I'll continue to be a fighting man for my country until I die. I swore to uphold and defend the constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic. If your not for this country, then your against it. As I said, I'm a gun toten American and believe that if I must I will defend what I must. So, I guess in short, you boys keep your liberal bullshit to yourself don't send it my and we'll get along just fine. I'll keep fighting for what's right in this country.

About that "attack" I made. I asked him for clarity and this is the exchange that followed(Me first):

I would like to hear more of this "attack" I made. Other than just throwing an accusation out there irresponsibly, I would like to hear your proof. I'd like to see what qualifies as an "attack".

I'll tell you what, if you can produce that evidence, I'll apologize to him in person.

And Ferry's response to that request:

I tell you what, I'll do my best to delete you from my email and hope that our paths never cross again. Just take your liberal bullshit and shove it up you ass.

See the difference in approaches? Any questions?

Don't be a Ferry!!!

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don't approve of Ferry's message.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Poll: Are You Fine Folks Getting Tired of My Tea Bagger Posts?

If you good people look to the right, you'll see the poll in question. Vote early and vote often. I have more material, but I feel it is more important to hear the opinions of my readers...both of you.(Thanks for reading, Mom!)

After all, what kind of manager would I be if I didn't take my job seriously?

I am the Complaint Department Manager and this is the only kind of poll I like.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Westboro Church Should Be Burnt To the Ground!!!

Preferably, with the pastor in it!

You know, I'm all for free speech, but this goes BEYOND human decency. There are things in life you just don't do and that includes making an ass of yourself at a funeral...regardless if you know that person or not!

The Westboro dominion of Hell has decided to protest at Elizabeth Edwards funeral Saturday. By the way, that link goes to Faux News and their reporting of this despicable act. Most people are egregiously offended by their actions(that goes for Westboro church as well). What my angle on this is, what do people"Christians" who hate Liberals so much think about this protest? Kinda makes ya think a bit, don't it?(me, speaking in their vernacular...and will continue to do so)

I'm going to tell you something, I NEVER LIKED THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! I'd feel the same even if they protested the funeral of "the fallen one" Cheney(God forbid anything happens to his Darthness, of course).

In the words of Mr. Garrison, " You go to Hell Mr.Phelps! You go to Hell and you DIE!". Of course, this also goes for those dumb flockers in you realm of Hell that hold those signs.

I digress. I am MOST displeased with these....(whatever the Hell you want to call these people). I DO NOT APPROVE!!!

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I just want to say one last time, "YOU GO TO HELL, MR. PHELPS! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!!"

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

What REALLY Goes On In the Mind of A Tea Party "Christian"

Okay, by now, you have all been seeing (slowly) how a tea party "Christian" handles himself. Well, guess what? Got another email. So what was on the mind of our responsible, family values, tea party "Christian"? Take a look for yourself as this is what I got in its entirety:

EDIT: Keep in mind, where he begins, he's addressing what I told him as the definition of "Liberal" was "open-minded".

"Open minded, now there's a concept. Let's give every dick sucking, clit liking, illegal alien, black, white, yellow or green anything they want without working for it or paying into it. Not from the dollars that I've worked hard for. There is a limit to the dues owed to Caesar. I believe that being a conservative will outlive liberal thoughts and ideas from now on. I believe that working for something is proper, I believe that living in this country is something that must be earned. Which by the way, I was born here. The believe that my twenty years of service means something and others like me. I believe that if you don't like our country, that is oh by the way based on Christian values and beliefs go back to where you come from. Oh let's take care of every stray that wonders into our country, bull shit! Many have come to this country and earned their citizenship, not slithered across or under the border. That's a slap in the face to those who did it right. Many of those immigrants came to this country and have served honorable and died for the freedoms that we Christain based types believe in. I'll never call myself a perfect person, but the morals that I was raised with have served me well. So, as I give a final sign off keep this in mind you liberal son of bitch. We that believe this a great country founded on solid values that apparently many voters believe in. You keep your beliefs and may they serve you well, but my belief is that they will let you down. Enjoy paying for all those liberal programs, but as for me and mine we'll keep up the good fight. By the way, I didn't catch the number of years that you served this country. I believe that had you spent some time in uniform, you might see things from a different light. Eat shit and die you liberal bastard."

Now, forget about what "I" learned. What did any of you reading this learn? Do I really need to comment on this? I'll let you guys run with that. Knock yourselves out. This was probably the most honest moment this guy had in quite a while.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I just made an honest man out of this "Christian".

Monday, December 6, 2010

The Tea Bagger Douche Strikes Again!!!

Hey, remember way back when, say...4 days ago? Remember how that douchebag sent his final reply because he was "done" with me? Well, since that last exchange, I am proud to say I let it go...but he didn't. He didn't make a reply on top of his little temper tantrum, oh no. Instead, he has decided to include me in on his mass email list that sends out sourceless information and rants about our current President, Muslims and a combination of both.

It then occurred to me that when you get into an exchange with someone and you say you are "done talking with them", the least you could do is leave them alone seeing as how you can no longer make an intelligible retort on that or ANY similar subject. But not this dipshit, oh HELL no. I guess he thought(and I use that term VERY loosely) that he was going to edjookate(*snicker*) me Tea Party style.

He sent me about 4 emails(still have this drivel) and finally I had enough. Instead of going through each and every single email with a response, I decided to pick one and give a sort of unified reply. It went exactly like this(link provided was to address his "take back America" rant):

"So much for you being “done”. If you know how to read a newspaper, these guys were responsible for the temporary election results(not as if you care):

“grass roots” indeed. This tea party uses a silver set. You guys got played, I still can’t stop laughing at this one. The least you could do is embrace your prejudices, racial and religious intolerance.

By the way, those other emails you sent look like they were put together by a 10 year-old."

So, what more things did I learn about this idiot without a village? One, he clearly likes to call "time out" then pawn me off on his dad when he runs out of shit to throw at me, then take his ball and go home. Two, when anyone receives idiotic emails from stupid bastards like this, they are most likely ones without any sources to be found(let alone the fact they are riddled with bad grammar and tons of misspellings...that's bad coming from me). Nothing but baseless rambling. Three, these 'tards have no idea just how prejudiced, homophobic and not to mention racially and religiously intolerant they are. Seriously, they are THAT oblivious! Finally, four, even though they are quickly outwitted and exposed, NEVER underestimate the power of their belligerence, ignorance and hatred. They have absolutely no conscience, nor shame.

LISTEN UP TEA PARTY BASTARDS! If you are ANYTHING like the person I have had the misfortune of dealing with recently, the absolute LEAST you can do is just come out say you don't like anything that isn't the following: White, Christian and English speaking ONLY! Embrace your prejudices! At least this way, it will be the ONLY thing honest you will be able to contribute to the rather short conversation.

By the way, anyone who has my email address and would like to see the ramblings of an idiot, let me know, I will forward them to you.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I'm tired of correcting these idiots.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

What A Conversation With An Idiot Tea Party Douche Will Get You

Pretty much an overwhelming urge to bang your head against the wall.

Has anyone ever got one of those emails that was sent to a lot of people you know and don't know? Ever seen someone unable to contain themselves and do a "reply to all"? Well, I'm one of those and I learned,(yet again) you can't talk to these people or in their terms, "You can't fix stupid". So, I'll try to be brief as I hate making long-ass posts.

The email I received was one that wound up coming to the conclusion that President Obama DID NOT inherit such a vast deficit as we are all led to believe and it was the Dems fault for the huge amount of debt since the year 2007.

Of course, I called, "BULLSHIT" on this and sent an appropriate link to information that would clear up their "fuzzy math" and convenient memory. I also included a quote from Mary Matlin(former advisor to Darth Cheney and wife of James Carville) who stated on Meet the Press, "Republicans spent like drunken sailors on shore leave".

This got the attention of the douche in question and elicited this response(in it's unedited entirety):

"I'll stick with the non-socialist, non - muslim and non - liberal Republicans myself. Can't support welfare for illegals, can't support gays in any form and can't support a man that has never served his country either America or Africa or wherever the hell he is from. Oh, by the way, most of the voters in the recent election may think like me."

At this point, I wanted this douche to get comfortable with his bigotry, so I only responded to parts of his rant. You'll see why later. So I responded with:

"Only thing is, the turnout for that election was down significantly, so your numbers will be a bit minuscule. So now your working with a fraction of a fraction. Chances are most of them will lose faith in the same people they just elected, so that fraction will undoubtedly get smaller. Despite the socialist amusement, who is this “muslim” you are talking about?

Oh, I suppose you don’t or didn’t support Palin(the traitor), Cheney or G.W.(the deserter) then?"

As predicted he became a little more out of his Klan shell and spewed out this nonsense:

"I forget that morons do still exist in this world. I guess we'll see in two more years about my numbers thing. Mean time those of us who served this country for what it really stands for will continue to fight for what is right while the liberal weenies out there continue to support idiots like the democrats that have controlled D.C. since when? Oh yeah since the second year of Ws first term. I guess you'll have to explain the traitor and deserter thing. Oh, the muslim Bam Bam in office right now. You know, the guy who can't prove he's a citizen of the U.S., has no experience and supports his muslim brothers and daddy!!!!!!!!! Bows to foreign leaders and apologizes for this country."

Now, I'm at the point where I realize for certain this dipshit is not rational. So, I decided to agitate further with this:

"You’re a birther? Interesting, very interesting. Sarah Palin IS a traitor as she spoke to the Alaskan Independence Party’s conference in ’08 telling them to “keep up the good work”. If there is a state that wants to succeed from this country, that makes them traitors and that goes for that mentally defective Rick Perry as well. Also, gw had went missing during Vietnam and still has yet to give a consistent story about it. I guess that makes him just as much of a coward as Cheney.

From what I remember, GOP had the House til ’06 and had BOTH from ’04-“06. So majority control over house AND presidency from 2000-2006. With that in mind there’s PLENTY of blame to go around. Especially since w’s last term in office, the republican majority “spent like drunk sailors on leave”(quote from Mary Matlin – former Cheney counselor). At least she admitted things were their fault…and she was actually there for it.

I just think it is absolutely hysterical that even before he officially took office, Obama was getting railroaded by bigots and haters. However, you seem to embrace your prejudice. I don’t exactly agree with your personal philosophy, at least you’re consistent. That’s more than I can say for those who deny their prejudices when it’s clear they’re just in denial."

Was I being an ass? Perhaps...fuck it, yes, I was. At this point he could no longer contain his inner bigot and tea party doucheness by giving the following display of brilliance: (After 2 sentences, he thought it would be a good idea to get his daddy involved in the equation by adding him to the reply.)

"I believe that each state has the right to tell the government to shove it up there *&^%. Your a waste of sperm and I'm done with you. -Break- Dad, I don't know how I got this idiot on any emails, but I'm done with him. You'll get more from mixing words with a fencepost. These are the kind of people that have brought this country down. The tea party folks may see that a revolution could very well take our country back from idiots like this."

This is what happens when you try to talk to one of these idiots. Lesson learned...again. Mama's don't let your babies grow up to be tea partiers(?). If that idiot does wind up reading this for some reason, just remember, you started it, I just finished it while you took your ball and went home.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I obviously went on longer than I want to.