Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Springfield, Ill is Trying to Kill Me!!!

Just last week, I made a trip to Schaumburg, Il. I have to admit, it's a great place to visit/stay while in Chicagoland. One thing they have is AWESOME fucking food! So much so, that there's too much for me to list and I am now too fat to reach my keyboard over my now looming gut...but it was worth it.

More importantly, I need to direct everyone's attention to a culinary terrorist joint I stopped at along the way in Springfield, Il. called The Coney Island Restaurant. What these home-grown gastro-terrorists have created was nothing short of a killer...a proverbial cardiac arrest on a plate called "The Horseshoe".

What is it? Well, you actually get your choice of meats to put on this thing, but I chose well and went with the burger. What it is, is this: They start out with 2 pieces of Texas toast, slap down 2 patties of meat(burger), then cover it with a mound of fries...but wait, it gets better! After all that is mounded on to your plate, they cover it with cheese sauce! The end result looks like this:

Me, not wanting to let a culinary time bomb to go off, sacrificed myself, my cholesterol count and temporary use of fitting clothes so that I may reduce this cholesterol bomb to this:

I don't think of myself as a hero, but if I can save someone else from being put in the path of something like this, I will gladly forfeit my health and safety so that you and everyone else can rest easy...and in proper fitting clothes.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I now see why Illinois is abbreviated as "Ill".