Thursday, June 2, 2011

Okay, This Will Be Me Last Post Here...I Mean It This Time

Doesn't this look a little creepy to you? I'm talking ice-cream-man-that-likes-to-tousle-children's-hair-with-a-creepy-smile kind of creepy.

By the way, I think to the side it says either hola(Oh-la) or hola(HOLLA!!!). Still...creepy.

I'm the Complaint Department Manager and THIS is some creepy shit.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Moving To WordPress

Not only am I fed up(God, I hate that phrase) with Eblogger's bullshit, I am changing my format as well. Why? Because I can. Most of you who know me already know I tend to know that's how I get shit done.

My new address:

What can I say, I lack originality, sue me.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don't approve of Eblogger's bullshit anymore.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Springfield, Ill is Trying to Kill Me!!!

Just last week, I made a trip to Schaumburg, Il. I have to admit, it's a great place to visit/stay while in Chicagoland. One thing they have is AWESOME fucking food! So much so, that there's too much for me to list and I am now too fat to reach my keyboard over my now looming gut...but it was worth it.

More importantly, I need to direct everyone's attention to a culinary terrorist joint I stopped at along the way in Springfield, Il. called The Coney Island Restaurant. What these home-grown gastro-terrorists have created was nothing short of a killer...a proverbial cardiac arrest on a plate called "The Horseshoe".

What is it? Well, you actually get your choice of meats to put on this thing, but I chose well and went with the burger. What it is, is this: They start out with 2 pieces of Texas toast, slap down 2 patties of meat(burger), then cover it with a mound of fries...but wait, it gets better! After all that is mounded on to your plate, they cover it with cheese sauce! The end result looks like this:

Me, not wanting to let a culinary time bomb to go off, sacrificed myself, my cholesterol count and temporary use of fitting clothes so that I may reduce this cholesterol bomb to this:

I don't think of myself as a hero, but if I can save someone else from being put in the path of something like this, I will gladly forfeit my health and safety so that you and everyone else can rest easy...and in proper fitting clothes.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I now see why Illinois is abbreviated as "Ill".

Friday, February 18, 2011

Another Reason Why the "Faith vs. Science" Topic Is So Important

Minnesota House of Representatives' own Mike Beard has emphasized my previous point of why it is important to know the limitations of faith vs. science. According to this dipshit, we have UNLIMITED resources provided by his favorite imaginary friend. Don't believe me? Check it:
Mike Beard, a Republican state representative from Minnesota, recently argued that coal mining should resume in the Land of 10,000 Lakes, in part because he believes God has created an earth that will provide unlimited natural resources.
"God is not capricious. He's given us a creation that is dynamically stable," Beard told MinnPost. "We are not going to run out of anything."
Beard is currently in the midst of drafting legislation that would overturn Minnesota's moratorium on coal-fired power plants, an effort that he backs due to his religious belief that God will provide limitless resources while ensuring that humans don't destroy the planet trying to get them.
Drawing on his family's childhood property in Pennsylvania, Beard explained to MinnPost his belief that while resource extraction might cause temporary agitation to the landscape, the effects wouldn't be long-term.
"Our farm was mined for coal three times," Beard said. "And, now we stand on a point and look over barley and wheat and pines. Did we temporarily disrupt the face of the earth? Yes, but when we were done, we put it all back together again."
This observation appears to be indicative of Beard's larger religious belief that God acts as the tireless custodian of the planet.
"It is the height of hubris to think we could [destroy the earth]," Beard told MinnPost, before saying that even devastating nuclear events shouldn't cast doubt on his theory that the earth can always be repaired.
"How did Hiroshima and Nagasaki work out? We destroyed that, but here we are, 60 years later and they are tremendously effective and livable cities. Yes, it was pretty horrible. But, can we recover?" Beard asked. "Of course we can."

So, if this is the case, then all of those "shortages" of oil and other precious resources were lies manufactured by our friends in big business. You know, those guys that will provide this country with a gazillion jobs if we give them the tax cuts they so righteously deserve, remember? And after we tap those oil reserves 3 times, we will have them magically replaced by a bumper crop of Captain Crunch Berries!!!

Actually, those tales by big business are bullshit as they have seen how much revenue can be made by outsourcing American jobs and even replacing humans with machine/computerized labor. But then again, I could be wrong. Well, you know what? I think what we ought to do is take a page out of their playbook and hold their shit hostage until they get their shit in order. How will this go down? Simple. All we have to do is hold their tax cuts hostage until they remove their overseas operations and bring them back home IN ADDITION to add at least a 20% increase in job growth as a token of good faith. After all, somebody needs to keep these fuckers honest. But, I digress...

With the help of Mike Beard's friend on high, we'll have MORE than enough resources provided for us to make those American jobs a reality. Sound good to you? I thought so.


I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this blasphemy.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Faith Vs. Science: Why It is So Important

No need for me to lecture, just observe, if you will:

Now, let me put this into proper perspective in today's climate and struggle for power:

I'm just sayin'...

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve an open mind as to a closed one.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Southwest Missouri Liberals and Progressives: It's Time to Organize

To anyone in the parts of Southwest Missouri that considers themselves a Liberal, Progressive or even possibly a left-leaning Moderate to get your voice heard and to spread the word.

Don't get me wrong, this is not an attempt to get people to hear a "Preach to the choir" discussion or a way to hear typical dialogue coming from the media echo chamber. No, there are actually people who want to talk Progressive values without resorting to violent outbursts or the need to show up with semi-automatic weapons.

The idea is to discuss ideas, problems and solutions. When those of you who can identify with those of us who are sick of the antiquated mindset of the backwoods logic that has these people turned against their own interests, you owe it to yourself and those who think like you to give this group a try.

For those of you who homophobic, racist, religiously intolerant and stupid enough to back solidly the legislators that are against YOUR interests and you are too stupid to know it, that last sentence was meant for you.

Progressives, it's time to Meetup. You can take that first step by joining us at:

Progressives of Southwest Missouri

If you don't want to join up, it is okay, but remember this, when you get pissed off at these backwoods throwbacks and you feel like no one will listen to you(and you will), you had an opportunity to not be alone and you said, "Pass".

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this message.

Friday, January 14, 2011

10 Famous Villains Who Were Right All Along

Cracked Magazine recently published an article that actually had "9 Famous Movie Villains Who Were Right All Along". Seems to me that they forgot about Willem Dafoe's quote from Spiderman that is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE:

"The only thing people love to see more than a hero succeed is to watch one fail."

I mean, how fucking cool is that??? Not to mention, the fact that it is SO TRUE! Given today's voyeuristic taste of the TV watcher, you have to admit that this should have been on that list. What can I say, I am just that damn cool.

EDIT: By the way, did Spiderman ever listen to Dafoe? Fuck, NO! And look what happened, Dafoe gets killed off for trying to set his ass straight and Maguire went on to make 2 more Spiderman movies, each one getting progressively worse than the last. Where's the fucking justice???

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this addition.