Monday, December 14, 2009

People Who watch Golf on TV...Have You Lost Your Damn Mind???

Gee, I wonder where this is going to lead off into? First and foremost, I hate golf. I also hate watching it on TV. Don't hate on me, I tried both and all either really accomplished was encouraging me to drink heavily again. Especially on TV, I got up to mow the yard, weed-eated/edged, swept the driveway, came back to the TV and I missed all of...60 minutes of watching guys walk with one guy carrying the other guy's shit. If I want to be exposed to more shit like this, I'll just go to work at Wal-Mart. Why would you people watch this butt-ass boring sport on TV, at least NASCAR has an element of watching someone crash(WRC racing rules both of their asses). Either way you look at it, golf sucks! Find something responsible to do with all that real estate that anyone can enjoy for Christ's sake.

Now, moving along, Tiger...Tiger...Tiger. What the hell were you thinking??? That's rhetorical as any man reading this knows damn well what he was thinking. Next time Tiger says he wants to get in a quick 9 holes, do you think he's really talking about golf? Think about it. But can you really blame him? The guy's major sponsor has a slogan of "Just Do It". Still, Tiger, ya done fucked up you silly bastard.

I blame the loose broads he popped the trunk on as well. I saw Jamie Jungers(unfortunately) on the Today show:

The only thing missing from that stage was a pole and loud music. That and quite possibly a pimp off-stage somewhere. That damn broad looked like she just came off of working a trick. DAMN! Clearly, Tiger likes his side action to be stupid. You could do that same interview again with just the hair in the chair and you wouldn't notice the difference.

You know, I wanted to wait to see exactly what would come out of this before saying anything about it, didn't want to jump the gun or anything, especially with Tiger being cryptic and all. I see the whole thing as 50/50 for fault, but the real victim is his wife(possibly soon to be ex) and kids.

Anyway you slice it, this couldn't have happened to a better butt-ass boring sport than golf. I have a great idea, let's take Tiger's golf course(hell, why not all of 'em while we're at it) and turn it over to a Le Corbusier type designer and have that course turned into high rise housing for low income people. This way, the poor folks get a chance to look down on the rich bastards that enjoy doing nothing more than looking down on them. BOO-YAH!

I am the Complaint Department Manager, don't mind me, just playing through.


Sue said...

C the whole story is really disturbing. I think these richass guys who are rolling in money and spare time can't help themselves. Its a sickness and it's happening EVERY WHERE and in every sport. Not to mention Politics too! Its an ego thing, men are dogs...

BUT I must say I hate when private family things are put on the front page for all to gawk at...We really must have better things to do, don't we??

The Short (dis)Order Cook said...

You have some pretty awesome post, but this has to be in your Top Most Awesomest.

I hate golf too. I have several golf enthusiasts in my family (and an uncle who is a golf pro who owns his own driving range) and they like to watch golf on television. *snore* I still remember how this past Easter I couldn't get people to the table for dinner because the men wanted to stand around and watch the damned golf game!

I love that picture of Tiger and it really says it all. I always hated him for being a Nike whore. He was whoring for Nike when they were tortuing women in their southeast Asian factories. (Isn't he part southeast Asian himself?) Let's not forget how he made the big deal about saying he wouldn't cross the picket lines to do those Buick commercials during the SAG strike, but then went and shot the commercials in Canada.

I heard he even owned up to the fact that his marriage was just a big PR stunt to make himself look like a stable family man.

He always pretends to be humble, but you can tell he really enjoys the trappings of fame and money a bit too much. Maybe he'll just stay on that stupid yacht of his and take a really long cruise that lasts long enough for the world to forget about him!

Anonymous said...

Thats the first picture I've seen of Tiger Woods smiling. How can you look that bloody grumpy all the time the the squillions he's made at the twat farm.