Worst Black Friday Ever!!!

Okay, I called it. I always enjoy thumbing through the ads every year for this event and I must say, this year sucked!!! I found only one thing that was really a "killer deal" and I flipped on the news this morning to find out (via live reporting) that the damn thing sold out in minutes. Mind you that I would never fight the crowds for one item, that's just crazy talk. If I had to pick a winner for the best deals, I'd have to pick Home Depot.

I also took note that retailers are opening their doors even earlier than last year. What's next, doors open at 12:01? The earlier hours indicates to me that they also believe that this was going to be a crappy Black Friday and are trying to comp for it. For proving my point, I submit the following evidence: China, oil prices and extremely low consumer confidence that has been going on all year long. It's sad really, the only thing I have to look forward to today is finishing an Economics report and watching football. Retailers, this year, you were really, really bad.

As it stands, the above picture is also what I think about Black Friday this year.

Something for Everyone to Sing to Themselves During Thanksgiving

When the conversation starts to tank this Thanksgiving, you can play this song in your head and it will make you smile. This was the first thing that came to my mind when a conversation started about how family conversation taking a wrong turn at the gathering.

Another Parking Lot 'Tard

While I was finally finishing up my endless list of errands, I happen across this 'tard. The only thing that would make it funnier is if I knew for certain that the driver was blond and had big boobs(hooray for stereotypes!). It never ceases to amaze me how desperate, lazy and stupid people are.

Now that I'm thinking of it, there hasn't been a time when I have gone to Cheddar's and seen similar acts of 'tardation. You know what I'm talking about, the guy with the dually truck that parks at an angle or just parks down the middle of two spaces because he/she doesn't have the parking graces to get it in the single slot (Que Beavis and Butthead) uh-huh-huh, I said "slot".

Bad Roll Playing

Yes, nauseating pun, I know. Here's my problem, has anyone ever got these rolls to go? This Thanksgiving, Lambert's will have their Black Friday 2 days earlier. Every year I see the price of a dozen rolls at this place go higher and higher. It wasn't even a few years ago they were charging less than $3 a dozen. Would you like to know how much they are charging this year? I called them today out of curiosity to see how much they increased over last year, try $4.99. No joke, 5 bucks for a dozen rolls!?!?! And no doubt, lazy and well off households will be lined up to buy them. I would love for at least one year the residents of this area to give them a big "Piss off!" and not buy any.

Hey Lambert's, your rolls are good, I'm not ever going to knock that, but your price is bullshit! I know you're in buisness to make money, but DAMN!

Finally!!! I'm Back Up and Running.

Earlier this week I got hit with a worm virus. The only thing for me to do was top wipe my laptop clean and start over. I lost a lot of files, but such is life. I bear half of the responsibility for not keeping up-to-date antivirus. However, I will offer this to the creator of the worm virus: "May a thousand fleas of a camel infest your pubic hair!"

Kansas: Congratulations ...Now Put Your Coach on a Diet!

I first want to say that Kansas is doing a phenomenal job, but DAMN! Your coach has more chins than a Chinese phonebook and he's a breath away from...a breath. There's overweight...and then there's overweight. I'm sure the KU fans want to see you coach for a few more years, at least let them believe you can get there. When the catch phrase around campus is "Our Coach Can Eat Your Coach" it's time to do something, Mark. C'mon, your on camera and you can't use the excuse that it adds 'X' amount of pounds.

I WON THE UK LOTTERY!!!!!

NOT! I am getting so sick of getting these stupid emails on an hourly basis, that I might stage a cou in Nigeria just to get this shit to stop. It shouldn't take much, I'll just distract them with a food drop then have my small army of PMSing women take over there capitol building, should take about an hour/hour and a half. This all depends on how many women I can scrounge up and how much chocolate I can get my hands on.
The way I figure it, I have won enough lotteries to pay of the national debt 2 times over. It seems that the more I report it as spam, the more I get, hmmmm...Has anyone else been getting pelted with this crap in mass, lately?

By the way, I'm feeling bloated and unattractive today...no, really.

Screw Fall Fashion, I'm Already Worried About Spring

I already had an eyeful of this during Spring and Summer. I don't want to see it this year coming up. I'm not a big ladies' fashion expert, but I am a man and as a man...you look pregnant! If you are single/married and don't want guys hitting on you, I don't see any other reason to buy these "boob drapes." It doesn't make you look cute, it makes you look knocked up. A chauvinist comment, I know, but at least I'm being honest. Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks like this.

This reminds me of the time I had a friend who was pregnant and was bonding with another pregnant woman she met in line at checkout. She was being cute when describing how she got pregnant by saying, " I don't know how it happened, I guess it's just something in the air." My response, without missing a beat, "Yeah, your ankles."

"Don’t Tase me, bro" part Duex

Once again this idiot is getting more attention thanks to the Today Show(...and me too, damn it). He and his parents , during the interview this morning had the audacity to say that he wasn't a trouble maker...WHAT?!?!? This jagoff is known for his "attention getting" stunts as I mentioned in an earlier post. I said it once and I'll say it again, he deserved it. Quite honestly, I'd like to see him get it again because I don't believe he is sorry for the incident. I DO believe he is sorry that it led to him getting the taser, but not sorry for his actions. In the words (album title) of the once cool Metallica, "Ride the Lightning", BEYOTCH!!!