Skoal Brothers Christmas, I've Lost My Damn Mind

I think I already posted this before. So what? It gets a return visit, deal.



Skoal Brothers Xmas


T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the trailor.
My sister woke up, while I was trying to nail 'er.
The socks was all hung, on my big mounted bass,
In hopes that St. Leon would be hauling ass.
The young'uns bunked down, all snug on the floor,
Each one had a dip, so they slept near the door.
Sis in her 105 shirt, and her John Deere cap,
Looked purty as a naked silouhette on a truck mud flap.
When out in the dog pen, there arose such a clatter,
I got up from sis, to see what was the matter.
When what to my swollen red eyes should I see,
A pink Coup De Ville, 1973.
He staggered so much, I thought, "What was he on"?
And could I buy some of that, from old St. Leon?
All my dogs started barkin, he started to shout,
Dog's hate St. Leon, you figure it out.
"Hey Whitey, Hey Crackerboy", he called me by name,
So I called off my dogs, and hauled up the game.
When he stepped on my porch, there was such a vibration,
I thanked God I installed a concrete foundation.
He was dressed all in fur, and chains made of gold,
On his feet were Air Jorden's, I 'specked he stoled.
Yes, he had toys, there was no mistakin,
But I still wasn't sure if he was given, or taken.
It was then that he pulled a knife from his sack,
As I readied myself for a Leon attack.
St. Leon surprised me and gave me great glee,
When he gift wrapped the knife, and put it under the tree.
He continued by filling the socks up with skoal,
His good deeds made me feel, like a major bung hole.
Then layin' his finger on the gold stud on his nose,
He said, "Hey Opey Taylor, I gots to goes".
He jumped in his caddy, and turned on the ignition,
Drove down the dirt road, to continue his mission.
I heard him yell out, as I opened a beer,
"Hey you honky white trash, see you mo'fo's next year".


I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this holiday bedtime story

Next Time Someone Says Their Place is a Dump, Remeber This...

Can't help but share this. As Randy Quaid would agree, this here's an RV!(Don't know if the shitter's full, but...) All I can say is this would be a hell of a way to live, seriously.

















So remember, when some guy tells you his place is a dump and has a bit of a smirk when he says it, take it with a grain of salt.


I am the Complaint Department Manager and my shitter's full.

People Who watch Golf on TV...Have You Lost Your Damn Mind???

Gee, I wonder where this is going to lead off into? First and foremost, I hate golf. I also hate watching it on TV. Don't hate on me, I tried both and all either really accomplished was encouraging me to drink heavily again. Especially on TV, I got up to mow the yard, weed-eated/edged, swept the driveway, came back to the TV and I missed all of...60 minutes of watching guys walk with one guy carrying the other guy's shit. If I want to be exposed to more shit like this, I'll just go to work at Wal-Mart. Why would you people watch this butt-ass boring sport on TV, at least NASCAR has an element of watching someone crash(WRC racing rules both of their asses). Either way you look at it, golf sucks! Find something responsible to do with all that real estate that anyone can enjoy for Christ's sake.


Now, moving along, Tiger...Tiger...Tiger. What the hell were you thinking??? That's rhetorical as any man reading this knows damn well what he was thinking. Next time Tiger says he wants to get in a quick 9 holes, do you think he's really talking about golf? Think about it. But can you really blame him? The guy's major sponsor has a slogan of "Just Do It". Still, Tiger, ya done fucked up you silly bastard.

I blame the loose broads he popped the trunk on as well. I saw Jamie Jungers(unfortunately) on the Today show:

The only thing missing from that stage was a pole and loud music. That and quite possibly a pimp off-stage somewhere. That damn broad looked like she just came off of working a trick. DAMN! Clearly, Tiger likes his side action to be stupid. You could do that same interview again with just the hair in the chair and you wouldn't notice the difference.

You know, I wanted to wait to see exactly what would come out of this before saying anything about it, didn't want to jump the gun or anything, especially with Tiger being cryptic and all. I see the whole thing as 50/50 for fault, but the real victim is his wife(possibly soon to be ex) and kids.

Anyway you slice it, this couldn't have happened to a better butt-ass boring sport than golf. I have a great idea, let's take Tiger's golf course(hell, why not all of 'em while we're at it) and turn it over to a Le Corbusier type designer and have that course turned into high rise housing for low income people. This way, the poor folks get a chance to look down on the rich bastards that enjoy doing nothing more than looking down on them. BOO-YAH!


I am the Complaint Department Manager, don't mind me, just playing through.

VISA, Have You Lost Your Damn Mind?!?!

The rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated, just being worked to death. I know I've been out of the loop for some time, but DAMN! Shit has been crazy with work and at school ever since before Halloween. I will try to get back into the swing of things around the middle of the next month...seriously.

Anyway, I got a "pre-approved" invitation to get a Black Visacard. Are you fucking kidding me??? A card that charges a $495 annual fee just for the exclusive benefit to have my ass kissed every once in a while and for the pleasure of just having it??? Does anybody have one of these damn things? I challenge you to try and sell this sham of a product to me...no, I TRIPLE-DOG-DARE you! And we all know what happens when you triple-dog-dare some one:




I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve of getting a food hangover on Thanksgiving. (damn, I'm tired)

For Those Familiar With

the CDM's compassion for "Parking Lot D-Bags",

This olelongrooffan submits this.

Happy Veteran's Day

To all generations who have given so much for my Freedom.

This olelongrooffan cannot express enough gratitude.

Thank You Very Much.

john

My Dad and His Generation

are spinning in their graves.

Read this and weep.

After reading that link, it is tough to really

Celebrate Life.