Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Honestly, Do You Need <--THAT--> Much Room???

Seriously! Last night, driving in metro Springfield and I'm at a busy intersection and I see a car ahead of me and to the right, someone who is at the same stoplight and stopped nearly 3 car lengths(no shit) away from the person in front of them. Is that much open real estate necessary? I'm all for traffic safety and all, but DAMN, 3 car lengths??? Did Wonder Woman trade in the jet for a stretch limo or something? What did I miss? Did the person in front of them produce an anal by-product so heinous to the point that in got into their ventilation system? I've seen my fair share of spazz cases, but this is bullshit.

I have seen this a number of times, but for some reason, it really struck a cord with me this time around. Again this was at night and I couldn't see who was driving, so I couldn't automatically assume the obvious that it was so old fart in their late 80's and should have ditched the license thing YEARS ago. For all I know, this could have been some teenager or young/old adult that got a hold of some skunk bud(if you have to ask, you lived a deprived life...know that and recognize).

Anyway, you wouldn't find this much gap in Michael Strahan's smile:

So help me, if it wasn't for the car in front of me, I would have pulled right in front of them and maybe moved back and forth a few times just for good measure. I mean to tell you there was a lot of room there. About as much empty space as in Rush Limbaugh's head, yet not enough for his ego. Please people, if you know anyone who drives like this, make a difference and either smack them or confiscate their license.


Caspar608 said...

I think we were related in another life. The same things you think, I think all of the time..only you say it better than ME. And now, anytime I see someone parked like a blind man with a bad case of vertigo I think of YOU. And I either leave a note that says "CDM WAS HERE" or I write "CDM" on their windshield with my finger.

Can you hear the twilight zone music playing yet? I hear it all of the time now.

Holy shit. Someone must have slipped some shrooms in my soup.

Sunny Anderson said...

teeheehee, just a few lines in i was thinking it was bud related when it came to the driver, then you go and suggest it lol ... funny

tysgirl said...

What I love is being behind that idiot as they approach the stop light. They generally slam on the brakes a block before the light and then spend the next 60 seconds inching their way forward. Drives me fucking nuts.

Yes, yes I do suffer from road rage as a matter of fact.

The Short (dis)Order Cook said...

I put in the vote for someone having a few too many drinks. They figure if they're REAAAAALLLY careful, they won't be caught or cause an accident. Riiiiggght.

Complaint Department Manager said...

Caspar - Be sure to check from here on out to see if anyone skunked your tea as well if you're looking for 'shrooms. Keep up the good work, word needs to get around.

Sunny - Suuuup girl! Now how would you know about things like that? This reminds me of a story that happened on the way home from Little Rock with 2 guys in a VW. No names and no details at this time. A story like this is too good for print.

Tysgirl - I see that same crap as well, something about last night just clicked right. By the way i know of your road rage and I approve.

Dis-ordered one - So noted. I must also confess that I was one just like that back in the day. Damn, a lot of memories coming back now.

Darius T. Williams said...

Hilarious...I don't have to worry about this. Public Transportation buddy!

Emily said...

Ohhh, that would make me mad, too.

Caspar608 said...

look man.
you've been very boring lately. last time you posted was FRIDAY.

whats up with that?