Wednesday, November 26, 2008

You Can't Crank Country Music...PERIOD!!!

Okay, I'm doing my tour of S.W. Mo. and when I stopped in Aurora I stepped out of Walmart to have Merle and Jimmy Joe Jim Bob(complete with Realtree camo caps adding to the authenticity of their redneckness) drive past me with the windows rolled down and they were cranking some country music(what it was, I don't know, I don't listen to that redneck noise). I laughed...very loud as it was that funny at the time. I think everyone else was either equally as amused as me or they were laughing at my laughter...who knows?

Now, I can actually understand if someone has gone through the trouble and expense of a nice stereo system and they want to crank some tunes, been there, done that. For the record, Hip-hop, rock, heavy metal, those actually qualify as the variety that can be used for such an activity. Now, has anyone ever tried to crank a country music song? It's not a good look, you may as well crank children's music as you will look equally as cool(try it next time using the Barney theme song, Dora or anything like that, you'll piss yourself laughing so hard at the silliness). Bottom line, if you crank country music thinking you got some game nailed down, recognize that game recognizes game and you will look all shades of unfamiliar.

To anyone who wants to debate this, you are wrong, plain and simple, now deal.


It's Me said...


That would be extremely western music boom booming in the WalMart parking lot! I mean, how much boom boom boom can country music really have????? LOL

Caspar608 said...

***stares dreamily at the words he types on his blog***

I agree. Music should only be blasted from cars if its...
1) Zeppelin
2) Jay-Z
3) Vivaldi (hehehehe)

Happy Thanksgiving CDM.

Kim said...

Wait...Rush. Floyd. Tull. And Jimmy Buffett! :-)

Caspar608 said...

On second thought, I have personally thumped to the man in black on several occasions...


And Garth Brooks. And even the defiant little DIXIE CHICKS to boot.

Whiner Girl said...

This made me chuckle remembering this one time I passed a constuction site and the guys were blasting opera from their boom box. Now, I truly like classical, don't get me wrong ... but something about a bunch of construction workers with it blasting from their radio, well, that was like oil and water in my mind.

Busplunge said...

The best music to crank in Wal-Mart parking lot is here.

Now shaddup and pump up the volume!

JennyLu said...

Well you can crank up some Country music. Some of it is pretty good, Sugarland for example. Oh well. I likes ya anyway!

Happy Turkey Day.

dr sardonicus said...

Well, I don't know - further research in this field may be necessary (country music, not cranking tunes on my car stereo). Theoretically, anything with a backbeat can be cranked. I used to have a Waylon Jennings 8-track (yeah, I'm that old) that sounded pretty good loud. A lot of the harder-edged country artists of yore (Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, Bocephus) put out some crank-worthy tunes in their day. It's not your father's shit-kicker music any more, either; the biggest influences on the last decade's country music are The Eagles and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Hell, they even play Kid Rock on country stations now. Today I have a couple of Steve Earle CD's that crank up nice. Although it can be argued that Earle doesn't have much to do with country these days, and that may be the point.

tom said...

There are quite a few country tunes that can be belted at high levels, but doing it in a Wal-Mart(evil empire)is just uncool. Garth Brooks, Clint Black, Johnny Cash just to name a few and even coming from someone who listens to 60's & 70's rocks such as Pink Floyd, LYNYRD SKYNYRD, and the like.

Emily said...

I hate country. HATE it.

Todd & Jillian Newlin said...

CDM: I've stumbled upon your blog from my good friend Paula (The World According to Me)...anyways...LOL to this post, but pretty much would expect this kind of thing to happen at a Wal-mart. Wal-mart, NASCAR & country music kind of belong together...don't they?

jp said...

ok are question..100 per cent.. make that 200%..I quit.

but I still want to know, as I spin around in the snow banks of the parking lot in MY (?) walmart in Aurora..(IL) ..just how many Auroras have Walmarts? It's like, you know..a koan..and what a lovely idea for..a tour! by C&W "artists" like all those guys with two first names..Blake Whitley..Whitley uhh Blake..

jp blasting Big River in the park... etc etc.

Complaint Department Manager said...

Chatti - It doesn' just doesn't. It's that distinctive country sound that lets you know that you are listening to country music that throws the whole idea into the shitter.

Caspar - God love ya, girl...scrate from da heart here.

Kim - Yes, but in moderation.

Whiner girl - I'm just glad knowing you're alive.

Jim - Damn you...just, damn you. That's all I got.

JennyLu - It's just best to say no. Say no to country.

Doc - I think you know what I mean here, it's that damn twang that lets you know without a doubt that is in fact country music. It's just a disturbing thing to behold.

Tom - Welcome to the blog. I think I've made some answers known in my responses thus far that hits at what you're sayin'. I still say, it's just plain wrong.

Em - I knew you were a good girl, you just became great.

Todd...and company - Welcome to my crash pad. Paula is great, I like her spunk. Funny thing is, I also hear this at Lowes, Home Depot, etc...It makes a person want to turn to terroristic activity being exposed to this kind of nonsense in the parking lot.

JP - Welcome! Any friend of Doc is a friend of mine. I think it's a federal law that all Auroras have a Walmart. I know what you mean by the 2 first names, it just makes me want to shake my head and hang it in shame with these crackers.

dr sardonicus said...

I did look it up. There are at least 17 Auroras in the United States according to my atlas. Don't know how many have Walmarts, though.

There's plenty of country music that doesn't twang. A lot of times producers make their acts sing through the nose because they think that's what their audience wants.