Sunday, February 3, 2008

Complaints Department Endorses...OZZY!



Dear Diary of a Madman,

The Complaints Department PROUDLY endorses Ozzy Osbourne for President. Right now this nation needs a leader, a true man of the people. A man to get both Democrats and Republicans to rally behind him. Someone to get the world to love us again and not fear or be pissed at us. Don’t think of him as a push over though, step out of line and he’ll bite your head off…LITERALLY! What country wouldn’t want Ozzy for a visit? Have a meeting, have an Ozzfest and there ya go, everyone’s happy. The T-shirt sales alone could settle the national debt. Here’s another scenario, instead of an “Oil for Food” program we could have an “Oil for OZZY” program. This is a win-win I tell you. If you give it a chance to sink in, it just makes sense.

I got a chance to look into Ozzy’s soul and I saw a man that could bring peace to a world obsessed with war. Ozzy brings a message peace, prosperity and kick ass Rock n’ Roll! We also won't have to worry about someone who can just give a good speech, but can't back it up, besides Ozzy’s normal speech sounds like Katherine Hepburn while running a jack hammer. Nevertheless, I also hope that if elected Ozzy will spend his time trying to heal this world and stop putting out more crappy albums. “No More Tears” was Ozzy’s perdendo and with that needs to take himself in a different direction and this country WILL follow!

Your humble civil servant,

The Complaints Department Manager

So, get ready to hear the State of the Union Jack. Take heed all, THE OZZMAN COMETH!!!

Again, this has been a complex thought from my simple mind.

7 comments:

Sniderman said...

\m/ \m/
Ozzy Rules!

Or could...

Strannix said...

If I must choose a rocker who is constitutionally unable to run for president, I choose Rob Halford. He's not only a metal god, but he's gay. Winger heads explode at the very thought!

Kim said...

Ok, nice choices, I'd go for them, BUT, I'm done with winter right now and want to go camping on the beach. Therefore, I say...JIMMY BUFFETT FOR PRESIDENT! :-)

Btw...good luck on your test. Or, instead of saying good luck, perhaps I should just do a snow dance for your part of the country so school will be closed?

dr sardonicus said...

I have never forgiven Ozzy for the atrocious concert he put on at the Kansas Coliseum in Wichita in 1981. The highlight of the show was Ozzy giving the crowd the finger. At least I got to see Randy Rhoads play.

Jason said...

Well, we're all looking for a Miracle Man who tells us no lies...

Whiner Girl said...

Ah, memories of yore. I remember when I was a tyke in San Antonio, TX ... Ozzy got kicked out of town for whizzing on the Alamo. So, I suppose he "remembers the Alamo" ... good enough to be prez, for sure!

Den said...

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