Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Dating Is Like A Job Interview

I make that statement because it's true. You ask the same questions, what's your name? Where did you go to school? What are your activities?...HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY? From there, the interview gets more casual and in depth. What were the reasons for leaving your last job(in this case, significant other)? This is the point where you start getting a good idea if there will be another interview/date. People with good intuition know at what point to call the interview/date short and move on to the next prospective party.

One thing I have always done is not talk about my private life. I do that because it is just that, private. I also believe that it's just being respectful to the other person, but that's just me, I like being courteous that way. Having said that, I can now say that this Valentines Day is going to suck for me. A 5 year commitment has just ended and it's not setting well with me. The only details I'll mention is that factors beyond BOTH of our control has come between us and I now find myself adrift in the vast sea of solitude. At least this isn't bitter or nasty. I have found myself in the past coming to a few understandings with women I date...like I understand she's a bitch! Thank God, that isn't the case here.

Guys, I can only say this much. To the fellas, if you really like that special someone, then don't go to Walmart and buy the A-typical flowers, candy and take the easy way out. The fact that they were in Walmart to begin with ought to earn them an ass whippin'. Be creative. This afterall, is the one you really care about and thus deserves an effort. I have always prided myself on going out of my way to make the day a step above whatever she expects and with that, the smile lasts more than a few moments, more like a few days at least. My overall goal is to outdo her as most women are better at this kind of thing, so I can take an appreciation for the task at hand. I always make sure that every detail has nothing to do with me and everything to do with her, afterall it's my job. I have witnessed many occasions where the guy fits himself in some way. Example, the restaurant is where HE wants to go, the flowers are chosen for price, shit like that. Bottom line, don't be a putz, women hate poor work ethic and you will most definately hear about it. Keep in mind, it's not always about cost, it's effort. Some of the best times and memories you can achieve for free or very little cost, it just depends on HOW you do it.

I hope this Valentine's Day, those of you who are looking forward to it, have your moment. For those of you who are not and are actually a bit pissed off at the whole concept, I'll just say that...I understand. I hope eventually things will change for you, seriously. That next interview may just go your way and hopefully find someone that will be a great fit for your...company.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I whole heartily approve this message.
NOW HIRING

EDIT: PLEASE don't take this as a ploy for me to garner sympathy. Trust me, it's the last thing I want right now.

10 comments:

Michelle said...

CDM,

I need you to call my hubby and give him some ideas. Poor thing is clueless.

It's Me said...

cdm...U ARE SUCH A SWEETIE!! a thoughtful, sweetie! i'm fixing to post something about you on my blog....it's gonna crack u up!!! CALLING ALL CDM FANS.......COME READ MY POST ABOUT CDM......

Emily said...

I know you didn't want sympathy, but I still want to give you some. Five years is a long time.

I like your view on Valentine's Day. My guy and I are trying to do exactly the opposite of what everyone else is doing. It involves Mr. Yens, booze and fireworks.

Have a good weekend, CDM.

Red said...

CDM - I never handled a date that way, use tact... it will seem less stressful. Great tips for the men out there...
Oh... SIGH... Do I have to admit this....? My sweetie followed your advise and sent me something great, it came in the mail today, I was completly floored and ... all that mushy stuff (that is hard for me to admit, eth) ...
Oh and don't sell yourself short here perving for applications buddy, your a great guy!
I am the Jennster... n I approve of V-day (shhhh don't tell, oK?)

Anonymous said...

You could be where my brother is: He says he is not to get involved in anymore relationships or marriages. Instead, every five years he will find a woman he hates and buys her a house.

What do I know, I've been married for 36 years---to the same person!

(I am withholding my name to protect the innocent

Complaint Department Manager said...

Michelle - It's a guy thing, it takes trial and error but only if he pays attention.

Me - You are a mess, glad I could help you...get the point.

Emily - My view comes from observing the behavior of others and witnessing the never ending lack of imagination, it got me to thinking. Best wishes.

Red - The application thing was a half ass attempt at a joke, seemed funny at the time. I'm not nearly this cynical.

Anon - 36 years, ay? Somebody has their formula right. As for your brother, all I can say is...DAMN!

Michelle said...

CDM

After 13 years of him asking "do you want something for valenines day?" I give up. I normally buy myself something and then tell him
"look what you got me for valentnes day!" I love him, but he is about as romantic as a tampon!

Anonymous said...

BS BS BS!!!!! Dating is not like an effin job search!!!!!!!!! So many Women believe dating is this blah blah blah imaginary extremely hard concept and women beat themselves up time and time again. Dating is not effin ROCKET SCIENCE yet women constantly beat themselves up and make themselves think it's this super hard concept and are like oh it's soooooooo hard oh boo hoo poor me he has to be perfectttttttttt or it's dooms day!!!!! Women want to have all these RULES, and to women dating has to be this and this and this and this and this and they want their damn "list" to go on and on and on and on and on!!!! Simply women that try and use that concept wont get ANYWHERE in the dating scene or at least won't have a long term relationships!!!! Particularly women should not treat dating like a job interview that KILLS yes KILLS the date and MOOD especially for men... For men with women that treat dating as job interviews it make's men soooo uncomfortable and makes men feel like they are being ATTACKED and all it does is makes him soooo uptight and closes him off.

A lot of women have this stupid thing going on in their minds did he say the right thing did he not. Oh crap he didn't say something PERFECTLY.... It's the worst thing a women can do is to treat dating like a job interview. That's an immediate mood killer!!!

Screw that just effin relax and just talk, BS talk, reeffin LAX on the date. On dates your supposed to just be able to shoot the breeze...

Dating is not a JOB SEARCH and NOT AT ALL LIKE A JOB SEARCH!!!!

Anonymous said...

You also say you don't ask personal info?????? Why don't you make it more dull, shut him down more and take with you scripted questions lol. Geeze and your probably one of them that give him like 30 seconds up to like 3 min and then your like ugh, give the whole exasperated sigh, put your nose up in the air, get up from your chair stomp off, throw your temper tantrum, go to the bathroom call your friends to bitch to lol. Dates are suppose to be FUN and RELAXING. If you want shut him down, if you want him to be closed and not have fun on the date then by all means make the date like an interview but just expect men to close down and be really uptight.

The CDM said...

Anon - I take it you believe that I am a woman???? If so, where did you get that assumption?

I based this post on my personal experience and witnessing others.

Only thing left to say/ask is...switch to decaf, perhaps?