Friday, February 13, 2009

Sesame Street and...Street Gangs?


I saw this article headline on CNN and it had me from word go. I thought anyone who can affiliate street gangs with sesame street ought to be worth some of my time. I was wrong. Evidently, this is about a new book some guy is schilling titled "Street Gang". Fuck you Michael Davis, that shit ain't funny. This photo, however IS. Much of this article revolved around a fantasy fixation that people have when they come to New York and that is that they want to see Sesame street. That's just damn stupid, seriously. Besides, what if Sesame Street actually WAS in N.Y.? What then? Just think about that. Better yet, I have a better way on how to totally destroy your image of Sesame Street forever to go with the photo.

Take into consideration the Grouch. He's green and lives in a garbage can and apparently has a nasty disposition. Sounds like a lot of people indigenous to the area. Not to far away, is that large retarded yellow bird whose best friend, Snuffleupagus is most likely a figment of the Grouch's imagination brought on by alcoholism and constant inhalation of garbage fumes. Big Bird has obviously seen the opportunity here and has ran with it as he blames all his shit on him. You also have cookie monster. Anybody seen his legs lately? No? Probably because he lost them due to diabetes that he is CLEARLY in denial of. Oh, speaking of denial, how about Ernie and Bert. Talk about gay denial. Those 2 have lived together this long and you never see them with a woman, let alone talking about them. Songs about bath time and pigeons and their obsession with them...DAMN! How about Grover? He's obviously the bipolar one with his multiple identities, he's also a bit of an attention whore and has lecherous tendencies. A little Topamax and maybe the silly bastard will stay still. Oh....Elmo. The opportunist and mass marketer of the bunch. I find him to be the most dangerous of all of them. He's already the patron saint of toddlers and adults with childhood issues. I trust him as much as I trust Chris Brown 2 minutes alone with Rihanna.

Botton line, I hate reading articles that look great from the headline but lead to disappointment not even half of the way through. That enough of a detour for ya?

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this message. Deal.

6 comments:

JL said...

I think you would enjoy this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TeNdsoCIgc

Kim said...

That was the funniest thing you've ever written! :-)

Red said...

Sesame Street is in Pennsalaviana or however the state is spelled. We went there when Molly was four. Lousy place.

It's Me said...

Blah on your portrayal of the Sesame Street characters. Another adult turning something innocent into trash! bleh

The Short (dis)Order Cook said...

Years ago the Christian Coalition tried to go after Ernie and Bert for being a gay couple and teaching kids bad values. CTW issued a statement saying that Ernie and Bert are, in fact, just puppets and are meant to illustrates how friendship can exist in differing personalities.

I want to know why a bunch of Bible thumpers are so interested in teh sex life of puppets!

Kim said...

Yeah, didn't they have a problem with the teletubbies, too? One of them was gay or something. I had problem with the teletubbies because they were annoying, but did I care if the teletubbies were gay? Uh. No.