Bent Like Beckham(Victoria That Is)

Yesterday was the first day of school for me and I've been a bit preoccupied. Evidently, David Beckham knows preoccupied all too well. I can't complain too much right now, my Quantum Business Statistics instructor is mucho caliente! I'll go over her figures ANY day. SOOOOOOOO...:

SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!!!

Piss On C.S.I. Miami!!!

It looks as though my favorite M.E. will not be returning to C.S.I. Miami. I heard she was leaving,but I was under the impression that it would be a short stint, especially with Caruso's departing comment of "that door will always be open." I don't care what anybody else thinks, but she was the hottest thing on there, PERIOD! If any of you can look like that at 50, then maybe you MIGHT have an argument. Peep this:

My spirit is crushed right now. I won't be hearing her say, "Baby" or "Honey"...that always gets me, that voice...I couldn't be more empty, disgusted and depressed right now if I woke up tomorrow only to find myself lying next to Kathy Bates.

My Way Of Congradulating Phelps

*Side note: Fuck you, Maury P.

Award Winning BBQ??? Nah, Just So-So BBQ

BEHOLD!!! The place that became the source of my BBQ ire a little over a week ago. This is Buckingham's BBQ, allegedly the "Worlds Greatest". Uh, be careful when throwing out claims like that, someone like my self will call you on it and if you disappoint, I WILL fix your logo as you see pictured. I figured one disappointing job deserved another. Yesterday, I took the liberty to except Buckingham's invitation to give them another shot(now that the whole communication fiasco has been resolved). The result was still a bit of a let down.

Have a nice day? I guess enjoy your meal is out of the question.

I ordered a 1/3 slab of ribs, a count of 4 ribs, but they were a bit generous and they gave me 5. Last time they gave me 6. This is exactly the same order I got last time, including the fries(regular and sweet potato), so I did a redo of my last meal with them. As you can see by this photo, it doesn't look bad, although I did notice that it could have been trimmed better as there were gristly cartilage still attached and I know they didn't trim of the underside membrane that most rib aficionados usually do:

As I stated earlier, it could have been trimmed and prepped better as I know they didn't remove that very thin white membrane that is on the underside of the ribs. Here they left it on and it cooked into the bone. Some smokers(and there are very few of them and they are usually dry rib smokers) say that in doing so it will hold in the moisture, I have a hard time buying that. If you leave it on, you get this 'consistency of paper' film on the bottom of the ribs that really doesn't sit well with me. Here is a look at the underside:

Now for the real test, just how tender were these ribs? They were better, so on a scale of 1-10, I'll give them a 7. The point here was to see if I could take one finger from each hand and be able to separate one rib from another with the least amount of resistance. This next photo shows how it was fairly easy:

If you notice, there is a hint of the smoke ring, but it's faint. If you don't know what a smoke ring is, it's a layer of pinkish colored meat towards the surface of the meat. It's a chemical reaction that you get when you cook meat using the low(heat)and slow(time) method. You here this a lot from great pit masters, "Low and Slow." It is the ONLY way to cook good BBQ, PERIOD. Back to the ribs, there was a bit of resistance but this was CLEARLY better than the last batch I got. I also want to make this clear, they have the BEST FRIES going. I really enjoyed the sweet potato fries, they were awesome. A true test of fries is if you can eat them without wanting ketchup, honey mustard, BBQ sauce, etc...These bad boys were seasoned perfectly(I hate over salted fries). But of course, as always, the sides shouldn't out do the main part of the dish and again they did.

I did this whole picture show to show proof of my findings rather than giving an angry rant like some old fart nearly getting knocked on his ass by some hyperactive skateboarders. In this case here, I think I clearly busted the "Greatest BBQ" claim made by these people. Are they terrible, NO, but there is better and I will say that I've had better at some chain restaurants. If you want an overall score of this place, I give the ribs a generous 7/10, the sides hit the mark, so 10 there. The place was also very clean and smelled great like a BBQ joint should, so 10 there as well. I thought I was VERY generous with my ribs score and I still have some money left on the giftcard that was given to me by management, so I may go back to try their brisket...and MOST DEFINITELY their fries.

Dear Amazon.com, PLEASE PROOF BEFORE YOU POST!!!

What's next, used toilet paper, suppositories or Maxi pads??? Get your shit straight folks, that's just plain...EEEEWWWWWW!!!
If I were them, I'd feel like total dicks right now. I don't know if proofing makes a vas defrens to them, but it does to me. What a bunch of pricks!

The pun punk card has been thrown, will you dare to prick it up?

Blog Roll Call!!!

Rules of Blog roll
Rule #1: you don't talk about blog roll
Rule #2: YOU DON"T TALK ABOUT BLOG ROLL!!!
Rule #3: If this is your first time(as a blogger) here at the The Complaints Department, YOU WILL comment.


Every once in a while, I cruise around and find my blog link on someone's blog roll and I later discover that I haven't done them in kind on my blog. Just like my blog roll states, it's equal opportunity. So, if there is anyone out there that has me on their blog roll but you aren't on mine, please let me know so that I may correct this grave injustice.

That's how I roll.

Offensive Campaign Resumes

I don't know why sportscasters keep coming back to the Brett Favre story, but it's getting on my damn nerves. So, I decided to kill 2 birds with one stone. First, I don't know if any of you people remember, but I really have a fondness for despising Jets fans, THEY'RE ANNOYING!!! I find them to be just as annoying as Jeff Gordon fans and as distasteful as seeing a hickey on a hemorrhoid. Now, without any further or due, here's a summary of what will happen ti Brett Favre's career in New York as well as what the Jets' season will look like:

I had a better looking "FAIL" logo, but it seemed too nice, so I went with a crappy spray paint graffiti look instead. I'll end this with a Jet's cheer and by the way, it isn't chanted, J-E-T-S...JETS!!! it's:

J-E-R-K-S...JERKS!!!

I Bit Off More Than I Could Chew

Yesterday I started a job and today I finished it. I'm not proud of it because it just didn't come together right and I was pretty sure I'd be done with this thing in 1 day not 2. I had many set backs and most were not my fault. Planogram wasn't detailed enough, parts were numbered incorrectly, I was shorted parts...you name it, what ever could go wrong, did go wrong. On top of that, my hands and arms look like I got into a game of "slap hands" with Edward Scissorhands. I will say this, the manager I had to work with was great, if it weren't for him, I would have set this bitch on fire:

RARE is the occasion that you get a member of management that is cool, I'm glad I lucked out at this store. I'm tellin' ya, I had matches and highly flammable liquids nearby...I'm just sayin'. I wish I had an easier job like trying to take away a molecule from plastic to make it margarine or something.

I decided to punish myself further by walking 8 miles after I got home and ate something. I'm cut, sore, banged up and I'm so tired that I can't even sleep. I'm also feeling bloated and unattractive right now.

End Bitching

EDIT:Speaking of biting off more than you can chew:

Award Winning BBQ???

Yesterday, me and my brother-in-law decided to try a place for BBQ that I have never tried before. They claim award winning BBQ, but they truly did not deliver. There's nothing worse than gettin' bad BBQ, especially after hearing a lot of hype. I'm not the only one to be disappointed in the area of BBQ, Darius is also a victim...yes, I said victim. When you get your hopes up to get something great, but are denied, that's being victimized. I have emailed this place to see what their explanation will be, so I'll wait to tell who it is until I get said explanation. I will say this, if I get no explanation, they will get their ass handed to them by me, yeah it was that bad.

What really sucks is that I got this "alleged" BBQ after FINALLY getting my cheap ass to see Ironman at the 2 buck theater. I must say, I never thought too much about Robert Downey Jr., but after that movie, mia culpa.

UPDATE:24 hours later and NO response yet...they have until Wednesday.

UPDATE #2: I emailed them a second time this morning as qa reminder and still no response. I may call to see if they even monitor their emails. Right now, I'm tired and exhausted, I need sleep.

FINAL UPDATE: I just got a call at 2:30 today from the manager and not the owner. I was told that the email goes to him and no one else so that's why I did not get a proper timely response. Here's how it broke down: The manager explained to me that the ribs should have been cooked to the point where they were falling off the bone and agreed with me that is was possible that the ribs were cooked on too high a temperature and pulled too soon. I was offered a gift certificate(dollar amount and details unknown for now) so I could come back and give them another shot, I accepted.

Bottom line is this, if you are the person that owns a joint like this and are going out of town and won't be able to retrieve said emails, make sure you can get someone to do the job for you so you don't leave anybody hanging. In this day and age, it's just good business. They get one more shot and if they don't hit the mark, they be mentioned here. Still deciding on whether or not to say who they are anyway.

Bernie Mac Passes Away At the Age of 50

This REALLY bummed me out this morning. I'm still in shock. I knew he was in the hospital for pneumonia, but I had NO idea it was this bad. Bernie was by far, one of the funniest guys out there. I like how he always kept it real, from his TV show to even being Chris Rock's Bail Bondsman brother from "Head of State". Bernie will be SORELY missed by myself and others who appreciated his sense of humor.

Farewell Bernie

Something To Use On A Parking Lot Retard

Every now and then, I have a little recurring post called something like "Fun With Parking Lot Retards." Lately, I haven't found any REAL clear violators, but evidently, Kim did. So for those who want a copy of something to put on their windshield, give this a try:

A bit silly, yes, but you know you want to use it. Go on, click the photo then push the print button.

Check This Out

Okay, how many of you have been able to catch this moment on your bucket? I know, it's a bit silly. I just thought it was really cool, especially when my "low fuel" light went off at the same time. Only way to top this would be the 7 at the end.

Beat that.

Complaints Department - Road Edition - Kingfisher Trail Review

After taking on Pinnacle Mountain I went over across the parking lot to a place I always walked as a cool down from going up and down Pinnacle Mountain. There are some really nice views on this trail as you will be seeing momentarily. For those who don not like hiking at all, like I've heard from a few already, this is a great place for you. Plenty of things here that are a real treat for the eyes. But first, here's something that I caught in the parking lot that was a definite treat for my eyes and I knew it would be for others as well. Check out this '66 'Stang:



This bucket is in tip top for sure. The owner either kept it right or restored it with great care. Anyway, on through the parking lot. In front of the Kingfisher trail there's a place for the little kiddies:

See, there's something for EVERYBODY. Now for the trail:

Anyone who is a birdwatcher or nature lover in any way shape or form will get an absolute appreciation for what's about to follow. Entering the trail, you look down the trail at a sight like this:

The picture really doesn't do this trail justice. Standing in the middle of this trail early in the morning, you get such a sense of peace and serenity that really hits you, I can't explain it any better. Moving through the Kingfisher, you come toward a creek area that runs along the back of the trail and here's your first view of it:

I think it's important to add here that it's a good idea to just stay on the paved trail, poison ivy and thorny shrub run not to far off the trail. Perhaps those with a background in Botany have spotted that already along with these massive wonders:

Tell you what, this is better as I got a lot closer for this shot:

Bald Cypress, these things are such a sight to see. I mean these things are HUGE! Here's a view looking up at these things:

Behind me from this shot are some Paw Paw trees. No fruit on those bad boys, I ain't much for fruit anyway. While moving further down the trail, the creek turns into a shallow area filled with the Cypress Knees:

These things grow upward from the roosts so that the tree can breathe when the place gets flooded, plus it adds some stability for the tree as well. Panning to the left you can see them stretch further on down:

You can probably make out some river cane sprouting all up in here. All throughout this dank marsh mess, you find different types of birds from Wood Ducks to Woodpeckers. Of course you'll also see some Kingfishers as well for which this trail was named after. I didn't spot any that day, they usually hang by the water so they can swoop down and gank something from the water. Oh yeah, almost forgot, WATCH OUT FOR GATORS! They've been known to hang down in the creeks. The trail starts making its way back toward the park from here. If you want, you can sit down on the bench built into this bridge here:

All through this trail you never loose that sense of peacefulness that you get from the first time you set foot on the trail, it's really something. After moving across the bridge a few feet, you can see the parking lot and the vast areas of picnic landscape past the trees. Once you get close to the part of the trail that parallels the parking lot, you can look back and get this view:

Well, this concludes the Road Edition. I hope you all enjoyed it, I know I did. I can't believe I got as much accomplished as I did. Funny thing is that there's still more things to see. If I happen that way again, I'll be sure to dig up those spots and possibly do another Road Edition. I'm still thinking about some of the photos that didn't make the cut. Not sure what to do with them. I'm sure I'll find a use for them.


ROAD EDITION NOW COMPLETE AS PROMISED.

Complaints Department - Road Edition - Pinnacle Mountain Review

Now that I've had a chance to catch up on sleep and odds and ends needing attention here, I can make this post. I frequented Pinnacle Mountain a lot many years ago. Looks like they've made a few changes, but nothing drastic, to the park. Toilets are still nasty. Funny, on the bathroom doors, people carved "Jesus" phrases ALL over the place, hmmm, WWJD on this??? Anyway, I get to the park around 6:30 and there were already a handful of people in the place. That surprised me, usually I could guarantee the fact that I'd be the first one in and no one showing up for at least an hour. Well, time to bring on the photos:
Here we have the entrance to the park letting you know you made it to the right place:

From there it was time to park and make my way up. At the base of the trail, you pass through this:

As you can see, the trail has a bit of an incline from the get-go. Plus you can see that there are steps landscaped out that show up a little better in this photo:

Now when you go up this trail you will get progress markers along the way. These are welcome sights, when you start getting winded, close to the top and wonder just where the hell you are. You get these for markers:

After hiking less than a quarter of the way, you will get a choice of what trail you want to take. The difference is in the difficulty of course, here's the sign to look for:

It looks a bit confusing so let me straighten it out for you. If you are out of shape and don't want to be covered in your own shit by the time you get to the top, go left. If you think you're a bad ass hiker, then by all means go right. I went left as I haven't had a workout like this in a while PLUS, to me, the view and sights are better. Moving right along, you will come across some great sights like this part of the trail where these large rocks form a wall:

The trail is pretty much all incline and not many flat spots. Once halfway through, the trail goes from mostly dirt to mostly rock. Here's what I mean:

If you look closely, you can see these yellow paint markers here and there. They are there to guide you in the right direction and allegedly the safer route. After getting through that, you may be a bit tired. If you are, there is a place to sit and catch you breath:

Remember those markers I told you about? You'll swear that they stopped labeling or moved them further apart for damn meanness, but they are there...you're just out of shape, deal. And when I mentioned that there weren't many flat spots, this is about as flat as it gets here:

I do believe I mentioned a few posts ago that I had a lot of photos of this place, was I wrong? Oh but wait, there's still more! The terrain get even MORE difficult after marker 7. Here's what I mean:

You get a great sense of appreciation when you see this little number here:

Here's what it looks like from behind me at this point:

Even from here you can take an alternate route to the top, you can always choose this path:

FINALLY! I reach the top and when you are at the top, you'll get 2 vantage points. You'll get to look from the North end or you can swing over to the South end. BOTH have absolutley fantastic views, unfortunately, you get some smog views as well. Little Rock is this way:

From here I'll post my North peak photos:



That last photo was a look behind me from the North peak and the way you go to get off from there and get to the South peak. Speaking of which, here are my South Peak photos:



Look, I know there's a shit load of photos, but I felt that a simple Flickr album posting wouldn't give you the whole story behind all this. Again, these aren't all the photos and yet more hit the cutting room floor. But, at least for now, we've reached the end of the Pinnacle Mountain leg of the journey.

NEXT TIME ON THE ROAD EDITION...THE KINGFISHER TRAIL

TO BE CONTINUED