Wednesday, December 29, 2010

That Ain't Right!!!

I haven't done this in quite a while, so I'm doing it now for the last time this year. Some of you already know what to do, but for those of you who don't, I will elaborate. This is more or less an open thread, but you get the opportunity to say what's pissed you off in the last week or so. Say it here and leave it here, maybe you'll feel better.

So, family staying with you recently getting on your last damn nerve? Tell us all how it wasn't right. Just a little food for thought.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this last post of the year.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy Holidays!!!

Yeah. that's right, "Happy Holidays". I am so damn sick of people trying to correct me when I want to do something so simple and courteous like wish them a great holiday season. Seriously folks, if you have a bitch about people that want to say "happy Holidays" over the simple "Merry Christmas" then I have some mistletoe hanging right above my ass, right over the crack with your name on it!

Besides, I do have my reasons for saying that. So, when some holiday douche dejour corrects me, I ask them, "So, you don't want me to wish you a Happy New Year at the same time?" Yep, "Happy Holidays" covers New Year's as well. But my reason is because I know there are other holidays out there that some may observe that I may or may not be aware that they might have an interest in BESIDES Christmas. You have Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, Winter Solstice...DAMN, lets throw in the new Festivus in there as well, shall we?

A TRUE person of goodwill will want their fellow patrons of the rock that we live on a happy holiday, REGARDLESS of their religious/non-religious designation. Is there a war on Christmas? Grow up, no and there never was. There IS however, an uprising of people who are forcing their beliefs on us because they STILL believe that this is a "Christian nation"...uh, no, it's not and know your history. This country was explored by settlers that want religious freedom from the oppressive Church of England. In other words, freedom FROM religion.

Bottom line, this post was to address the people who look at this holiday season as being NOTHING but about Christmas. So, tell me something you "chosen ones", You really think this being selfish like that is the Christian way to be? Think about it.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this "holiday" message.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Poll Results: COMPROMISE!!!

Just to show just how cool and benevolent I am, I will attempt to make ALL parties happy. That's right I said, "attempt". I can't help myself, I just like making everyone happy whenever possible, it's what makes me so freakin' cool! By the way, have I ever mentioned that I am humble? I am NOT afraid to show how humble I am, no effort is too great.

So, this whole exchange with the idiot known as "Ferry" will come to a close as I have decided to send all his future correspondence to the spam folder. However, I wasn't going to let this go without a parting shot in the spirit of Christmas. Everyone, I give you...THE END:


Seeing as how you have made it known on 2 occasions that you wanted me to "Shut up and go away!!!!!!!!!", which is your way of saying you have nothing intelligent to respond with other than out of date conjecture, I am getting into the Christmas spirit and have decided to give you 2 gifts. I'll elaborate about how silly your tactics are at the end.

Gift #1: You will no longer be hearing from me and I will actually be a man of my word, unlike you. From here on out, anything you send me will go straight to the spam folder. You've made it clear that you know nothing but childish antics and inbred thoughts. There is a reason for that. What is it? That leads me to gift #2.

Gift #2: I'm going to give you the gift of why you lose every time you face an intellectual, it's your "anger". Every time you can't answer a question with something other than a cheap insult or limp threat, you lose the argument every time. It's laughable...pathetic, but laughable.

So, I'm sure you'll respond to this(because you just can't help yourself) and when you do, it will go into the spam folder and it won't be seen or heard from again. I'm setting the folder to purge in a week, then I'm going to make it every day. The reason is because initially, I want to see the number in my spam content go up and every time, I'll know it's you further proving my point...each...and...every...single...time. I'm going to look at that number and smile, then laugh because you are that dense.

Merry Christmas, Ferry!(See how silly that is?)

So, now we have all seen another post on this idiot, yet also have seen it come to a close, thus the "attempt" to make everyone happy. I have made the most of the effort in the poll and passed the savings on to you.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don't want you to be a "Ferry".

Monday, December 13, 2010

BEHOLD! The True Face of Ignorance and Despair

To anyone who might consider themselves a Conservative, the following expose into the psyche of a tea party enthusiast, will give you great insight and reason as to WHY Liberals and Progressives feel the way they do about Conservatives.

To Liberals and Progressives, I ask that you not only look at this, but take this as an opportunity to make sure you or no one you know that feels and thinks as you do conducts themselves in a manner as I am about to show you. The last thing we need is THIS kind of behavior being linked to us.

For the sake of anonymity, I'm not going to use his real name or mine. My benevolence is amazing, isn't it? So, here's the kind of person that shows up in D.C. and town halls with misspelled signs, guns and misplaced anger.

This actual exchange is originating from a Progressive who simply wanted to exchange dialogue in a professional and respectful manner. The answer to that request is what will be listed below. Here's a few words from our brilliant mind, who I'll call..."Ferry" for now:

Well, I'm not really out to have a chat buddy so to speak. I'm firstly a non-liberal individual in the highest degree. I'm a twenty year retired Air Force sergeant that really takes offense to anyone that would slam, slur or anyway downgrade our fine men and women who serve this country that I love. A lot of folks who have never served tend to like to do that. Secondly, that SOB in the White House makes me want to puke. He is a disgrace to our country and to the office that some people gave him. Not me of course!! I'm a person who has read both the republican and democrat platforms. Although neither is perfect, I could in no way ever support the dems beliefs and philosophy's. As far as the media thing goes, I believe that it's a freedom of speech thing and that it shouldn't be touched. I have for the most part come to see that most of them are leaning or are way left, except FOX News. Many call them extreme right. I kind of like that in our present stage in this country. I guess you lost me with the product thing. If you mean false advertising, then if not having the brainpower to check something out before you buy it, that's your fault. If that's what you mean? Your buddy, (me) there has told me that I should be open minded. If what the dems support is being open minded, then I'll not be having anything to do with that. Here's what you get in me. I believe in God, Family and Country. I, like most tend to not be the best Christian in the world, but my values and morals stand pretty true to scripture. My family comes before anything in my life and I'm a flag waving, gun toten, Constitution believing individual. I wouldn't have spent twenty years of my life serving, if I didn't believe in it. I'm not open minded to homosexuals, lesbians, illegal aliens or any race that thinks that due to their color they should have precedence over me and mine. We all work, we all pay our taxes and we are all equal in the eyes of god. To murder, rape, steal and many more is against the law. I believe in an eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth, bible thing ya know. I believe in capital punishment. If I could change the laws, a person would get one appeal and that's it. Science has come to a point that DNA can pretty well prove most things. (Me, again) tells me that I have a prejudice against MUSLIMS, I'd say that's right! In Korea, they used to tell us to keep a watch out for North Koreans or the bad guys. The problem with me was, how the hell do you tell the difference, they all look alike? That's kind of my opinions with the MUSLIMS. I'm of the opinion that if your belief is to kill me, then a duck is a duck, you can't change that. I'm proud for you that you've done well financially, and that you are self sustaining. I too am a believer in such things as solar and wind. I was just this weekend looking into a windmill system here for my home to help reduce the amount of electricity that I have to pay for. Mr. (Progressive), I'm not going to get into a long discussion with you over your beliefs and how you are going to straighten me out for (Me, thrice). I'm getting to an age that I really don't give a shit what you or anyone else thinks. Your buddy has proven to be one of those people that likes to tell everyone what he thinks is right and wrong. A know it all if you will. When he started attacking my dad, that was my cue to move in. I'll continue to be a fighting man for my country until I die. I swore to uphold and defend the constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic. If your not for this country, then your against it. As I said, I'm a gun toten American and believe that if I must I will defend what I must. So, I guess in short, you boys keep your liberal bullshit to yourself don't send it my and we'll get along just fine. I'll keep fighting for what's right in this country.

About that "attack" I made. I asked him for clarity and this is the exchange that followed(Me first):

I would like to hear more of this "attack" I made. Other than just throwing an accusation out there irresponsibly, I would like to hear your proof. I'd like to see what qualifies as an "attack".

I'll tell you what, if you can produce that evidence, I'll apologize to him in person.

And Ferry's response to that request:

I tell you what, I'll do my best to delete you from my email and hope that our paths never cross again. Just take your liberal bullshit and shove it up you ass.

See the difference in approaches? Any questions?

Don't be a Ferry!!!

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don't approve of Ferry's message.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Poll: Are You Fine Folks Getting Tired of My Tea Bagger Posts?

If you good people look to the right, you'll see the poll in question. Vote early and vote often. I have more material, but I feel it is more important to hear the opinions of my readers...both of you.(Thanks for reading, Mom!)

After all, what kind of manager would I be if I didn't take my job seriously?

I am the Complaint Department Manager and this is the only kind of poll I like.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Westboro Church Should Be Burnt To the Ground!!!

Preferably, with the pastor in it!

You know, I'm all for free speech, but this goes BEYOND human decency. There are things in life you just don't do and that includes making an ass of yourself at a funeral...regardless if you know that person or not!

The Westboro dominion of Hell has decided to protest at Elizabeth Edwards funeral Saturday. By the way, that link goes to Faux News and their reporting of this despicable act. Most people are egregiously offended by their actions(that goes for Westboro church as well). What my angle on this is, what do people"Christians" who hate Liberals so much think about this protest? Kinda makes ya think a bit, don't it?(me, speaking in their vernacular...and will continue to do so)

I'm going to tell you something, I NEVER LIKED THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! I'd feel the same even if they protested the funeral of "the fallen one" Cheney(God forbid anything happens to his Darthness, of course).

In the words of Mr. Garrison, " You go to Hell Mr.Phelps! You go to Hell and you DIE!". Of course, this also goes for those dumb flockers in you realm of Hell that hold those signs.

I digress. I am MOST displeased with these....(whatever the Hell you want to call these people). I DO NOT APPROVE!!!

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I just want to say one last time, "YOU GO TO HELL, MR. PHELPS! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!!"

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

What REALLY Goes On In the Mind of A Tea Party "Christian"

Okay, by now, you have all been seeing (slowly) how a tea party "Christian" handles himself. Well, guess what? Got another email. So what was on the mind of our responsible, family values, tea party "Christian"? Take a look for yourself as this is what I got in its entirety:

EDIT: Keep in mind, where he begins, he's addressing what I told him as the definition of "Liberal" was "open-minded".

"Open minded, now there's a concept. Let's give every dick sucking, clit liking, illegal alien, black, white, yellow or green anything they want without working for it or paying into it. Not from the dollars that I've worked hard for. There is a limit to the dues owed to Caesar. I believe that being a conservative will outlive liberal thoughts and ideas from now on. I believe that working for something is proper, I believe that living in this country is something that must be earned. Which by the way, I was born here. The believe that my twenty years of service means something and others like me. I believe that if you don't like our country, that is oh by the way based on Christian values and beliefs go back to where you come from. Oh let's take care of every stray that wonders into our country, bull shit! Many have come to this country and earned their citizenship, not slithered across or under the border. That's a slap in the face to those who did it right. Many of those immigrants came to this country and have served honorable and died for the freedoms that we Christain based types believe in. I'll never call myself a perfect person, but the morals that I was raised with have served me well. So, as I give a final sign off keep this in mind you liberal son of bitch. We that believe this a great country founded on solid values that apparently many voters believe in. You keep your beliefs and may they serve you well, but my belief is that they will let you down. Enjoy paying for all those liberal programs, but as for me and mine we'll keep up the good fight. By the way, I didn't catch the number of years that you served this country. I believe that had you spent some time in uniform, you might see things from a different light. Eat shit and die you liberal bastard."

Now, forget about what "I" learned. What did any of you reading this learn? Do I really need to comment on this? I'll let you guys run with that. Knock yourselves out. This was probably the most honest moment this guy had in quite a while.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I just made an honest man out of this "Christian".

Monday, December 6, 2010

The Tea Bagger Douche Strikes Again!!!

Hey, remember way back when, say...4 days ago? Remember how that douchebag sent his final reply because he was "done" with me? Well, since that last exchange, I am proud to say I let it go...but he didn't. He didn't make a reply on top of his little temper tantrum, oh no. Instead, he has decided to include me in on his mass email list that sends out sourceless information and rants about our current President, Muslims and a combination of both.

It then occurred to me that when you get into an exchange with someone and you say you are "done talking with them", the least you could do is leave them alone seeing as how you can no longer make an intelligible retort on that or ANY similar subject. But not this dipshit, oh HELL no. I guess he thought(and I use that term VERY loosely) that he was going to edjookate(*snicker*) me Tea Party style.

He sent me about 4 emails(still have this drivel) and finally I had enough. Instead of going through each and every single email with a response, I decided to pick one and give a sort of unified reply. It went exactly like this(link provided was to address his "take back America" rant):

"So much for you being “done”. If you know how to read a newspaper, these guys were responsible for the temporary election results(not as if you care):

“grass roots” indeed. This tea party uses a silver set. You guys got played, I still can’t stop laughing at this one. The least you could do is embrace your prejudices, racial and religious intolerance.

By the way, those other emails you sent look like they were put together by a 10 year-old."

So, what more things did I learn about this idiot without a village? One, he clearly likes to call "time out" then pawn me off on his dad when he runs out of shit to throw at me, then take his ball and go home. Two, when anyone receives idiotic emails from stupid bastards like this, they are most likely ones without any sources to be found(let alone the fact they are riddled with bad grammar and tons of misspellings...that's bad coming from me). Nothing but baseless rambling. Three, these 'tards have no idea just how prejudiced, homophobic and not to mention racially and religiously intolerant they are. Seriously, they are THAT oblivious! Finally, four, even though they are quickly outwitted and exposed, NEVER underestimate the power of their belligerence, ignorance and hatred. They have absolutely no conscience, nor shame.

LISTEN UP TEA PARTY BASTARDS! If you are ANYTHING like the person I have had the misfortune of dealing with recently, the absolute LEAST you can do is just come out say you don't like anything that isn't the following: White, Christian and English speaking ONLY! Embrace your prejudices! At least this way, it will be the ONLY thing honest you will be able to contribute to the rather short conversation.

By the way, anyone who has my email address and would like to see the ramblings of an idiot, let me know, I will forward them to you.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I'm tired of correcting these idiots.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

What A Conversation With An Idiot Tea Party Douche Will Get You

Pretty much an overwhelming urge to bang your head against the wall.

Has anyone ever got one of those emails that was sent to a lot of people you know and don't know? Ever seen someone unable to contain themselves and do a "reply to all"? Well, I'm one of those and I learned,(yet again) you can't talk to these people or in their terms, "You can't fix stupid". So, I'll try to be brief as I hate making long-ass posts.

The email I received was one that wound up coming to the conclusion that President Obama DID NOT inherit such a vast deficit as we are all led to believe and it was the Dems fault for the huge amount of debt since the year 2007.

Of course, I called, "BULLSHIT" on this and sent an appropriate link to information that would clear up their "fuzzy math" and convenient memory. I also included a quote from Mary Matlin(former advisor to Darth Cheney and wife of James Carville) who stated on Meet the Press, "Republicans spent like drunken sailors on shore leave".

This got the attention of the douche in question and elicited this response(in it's unedited entirety):

"I'll stick with the non-socialist, non - muslim and non - liberal Republicans myself. Can't support welfare for illegals, can't support gays in any form and can't support a man that has never served his country either America or Africa or wherever the hell he is from. Oh, by the way, most of the voters in the recent election may think like me."

At this point, I wanted this douche to get comfortable with his bigotry, so I only responded to parts of his rant. You'll see why later. So I responded with:

"Only thing is, the turnout for that election was down significantly, so your numbers will be a bit minuscule. So now your working with a fraction of a fraction. Chances are most of them will lose faith in the same people they just elected, so that fraction will undoubtedly get smaller. Despite the socialist amusement, who is this “muslim” you are talking about?

Oh, I suppose you don’t or didn’t support Palin(the traitor), Cheney or G.W.(the deserter) then?"

As predicted he became a little more out of his Klan shell and spewed out this nonsense:

"I forget that morons do still exist in this world. I guess we'll see in two more years about my numbers thing. Mean time those of us who served this country for what it really stands for will continue to fight for what is right while the liberal weenies out there continue to support idiots like the democrats that have controlled D.C. since when? Oh yeah since the second year of Ws first term. I guess you'll have to explain the traitor and deserter thing. Oh, the muslim Bam Bam in office right now. You know, the guy who can't prove he's a citizen of the U.S., has no experience and supports his muslim brothers and daddy!!!!!!!!! Bows to foreign leaders and apologizes for this country."

Now, I'm at the point where I realize for certain this dipshit is not rational. So, I decided to agitate further with this:

"You’re a birther? Interesting, very interesting. Sarah Palin IS a traitor as she spoke to the Alaskan Independence Party’s conference in ’08 telling them to “keep up the good work”. If there is a state that wants to succeed from this country, that makes them traitors and that goes for that mentally defective Rick Perry as well. Also, gw had went missing during Vietnam and still has yet to give a consistent story about it. I guess that makes him just as much of a coward as Cheney.

From what I remember, GOP had the House til ’06 and had BOTH from ’04-“06. So majority control over house AND presidency from 2000-2006. With that in mind there’s PLENTY of blame to go around. Especially since w’s last term in office, the republican majority “spent like drunk sailors on leave”(quote from Mary Matlin – former Cheney counselor). At least she admitted things were their fault…and she was actually there for it.

I just think it is absolutely hysterical that even before he officially took office, Obama was getting railroaded by bigots and haters. However, you seem to embrace your prejudice. I don’t exactly agree with your personal philosophy, at least you’re consistent. That’s more than I can say for those who deny their prejudices when it’s clear they’re just in denial."

Was I being an ass? Perhaps...fuck it, yes, I was. At this point he could no longer contain his inner bigot and tea party doucheness by giving the following display of brilliance: (After 2 sentences, he thought it would be a good idea to get his daddy involved in the equation by adding him to the reply.)

"I believe that each state has the right to tell the government to shove it up there *&^%. Your a waste of sperm and I'm done with you. -Break- Dad, I don't know how I got this idiot on any emails, but I'm done with him. You'll get more from mixing words with a fencepost. These are the kind of people that have brought this country down. The tea party folks may see that a revolution could very well take our country back from idiots like this."

This is what happens when you try to talk to one of these idiots. Lesson learned...again. Mama's don't let your babies grow up to be tea partiers(?). If that idiot does wind up reading this for some reason, just remember, you started it, I just finished it while you took your ball and went home.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I obviously went on longer than I want to.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Kanye West Declared "Douche For Life"

Seriously Kanye, you have got to be the biggest douchebag walking the earth. I've seen criminal defense attorneys with more honesty and sincerity than you.
Folks, this comes as a result of Kanye stopping one of his shows so he can vent about how everyone is out to make him look "stupider" than he actually is(seriously, he used the word "stupider").

He apologizes to Taylor Swift via Twitter(wow, that wreaks of sincerity there) in September then(I guess) does something that I can only imagine as a "takeback" while pissing and moaning on stage...FOR 10 FUCKING MINUTES!!! Only your fans would be dumb enough to sit(or stand) through another one of your bitch rants. This now makes for a new level of stupidity when you can be called a fan of Kanye.

Getting back to the "stupider" reference, this is an actual quote from our lord and douchebag Kanye, "Because of the popularity of me they exploited that to make you watch the interview," he said, "and make you feel that he was stupider than ever to think that a rapper's comments could be his lowest moment.".
You can't make this shit up people, mainly because given enough time, Kanye will do it. Can any of us agree that this dumb fuck's career is finally over? What self-respecting person would financially support this douchebag's music career?
IDEA: Next time you see someone making an absolute DAMN fool of themselves, tell them to stop being a Kanye. This is how we should remember this damn fool in the years to come, as a joke...and a "stupider" idiot.


I am the Complaint Department Manager and I never supported this douchebag(and never will).

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Sarah Palin: America's Favorite Girl *snicker*

Just a little reminder everyone, this is a woman who takes pride in "America". Cracker, PLEASE! She's about as real as Joan River's face, an Oral Roberts degree or Bristol Palin's vow of chastity.

I still think it's absolutely fucking HILARIOUS that people are still fooled by this opportunistic fraud...and idiot(DAMN YOU, KATIE COURIC AND YOUR SNEAK ATTACK QUESTIONS!!!).

The Alaskan Independence Party had her speak just MONTHS before running for Vice-Pres. These are the same people that want Alaska to succeed from the U.S. In other words, they're traitors!(and so is Rick Perry for that matter). They were founded by a traitor named Joe Vogler who said, "I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions". Folks, words like that from a liberal or progressive would call for an immediate and swift prosecution from high strung conservatives and be labeled a traitor throughout the entire process.

So, where does this put our darling Alaskan princess in the eyes of America? Definitely not anywhere near a tear duct(unless you're a whiny bitch named Boehner), that's for damn sure.

Why am I doing this now? First, because I can. Second, because it's true. Third, I prefer to kick somebody when they're down, it's the best time and opportunity. The opportunity in question? It seems as though the ditsy bitch's show is starting on the decline...already. I guess people found out she's got about as much content as a term paper on the accomplishments of Nixon. Fourth and finally, there was a line in the movie Spiderman that I absolutely LOVE(No, not that "responsibility" one), "The only thing people want to see more than a hero succeed is to watch one fail!" She's already losing favor among republicans as a whole and wouldn't win against Obama anyway.

So, to all who think this woman is their hero, she's about to fail and I'm loving every bit of it. Pass the popcorn. Oh, by the way, how's that Tea Party hopey-changey stuff workin' for ya?

I'm the Complaint Department Manager and I don't approve of crying over stupid shit.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Don't be "THAT" Douchebag!!!

See this douchebag in the red car? He's one of those asshats who JUST HAVE to get through that intersection so he doesn't have to wait, even if it means blocking traffic going the other way as seen here. We've all seen this before, may just know or might actually be one of these fuckers. My advice, don't be.

I blew my horn and pointed right at him and he never even looked anywhere other than forward. It he appears to have committed to that action as well. This douchebag KNEW he wasn't going to make it, but that wasn't about to deter him from showing us all just how much more important HIS progress is even if it meant impeding ours.

As you can see from the first photo, the light eventually went from green to yellow. In this photo we see this dipshit didn't make it and at this point, he could have had the decency to fall on his sword a bit and turn left away from traffic, BUT NO! The fucker just had to keep the belligerence alive.

Anyway, let this be a lesson to all of us. The people around me were laughing and smiling...not at him, but me as they saw me whip out the camera as they must have understood that this was going to be on the Complaint Department later...and they were right.

Bottom line: Don't be "THAT" douchebag!

I am the Complaint Department Manager and my windshield needs cleaning.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Sugar is Sugar??? Really???

I found this informative, yet disturbing as well. Of course, when you think about it, it really shouldn't be a huge surprise. Shamelessly ripped from the Huffington Post:

I'm sure you've seen it. The new campaign for high fructose corn syrup in which the Corn Refiners Association has decided to rebrand and rename their product. Reflecting on changing consumer sentiment around high fructose corn syrup and declining sales, the Corn Refiners Association has petitioned the FDA for a name change to high fructose corn syrup. They want to call it "corn sugar".

The ad campaign is brilliant. Worried, they ask? We are, too, they claim. Only their concern doesn't stem from the epidemic rates of obesity, diabetes and corn allergies that we are seeing, but rather their concern stems from a 20 year low in the sale of high fructose corn syrup and the impact it is having on the profitability of members of the Corn Refiners Association (listed here).

Due to a rapid decline in sales, the Corn Refiners Association has petitioned the U.S. Food and Drug Administration asking that manufacturers have the option of using "corn sugar" as an alternate name for high fructose corn syrup on product labels because "corn sugar" more accurately describes the composition of the ingredient.

High fructose corn syrup, or corn sugar, is a liquid sweetener alternative to sugar. Its introduction into the food supply in 1983 was approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for use in food and reaffirmed that decision in 1996 based on industry funded science that was submitted to the FDA.

Because of its value as a versatile ingredient that adds taste, texture, freshness, and sweetness to food, high fructose corn syrup is not only used as a sweetener but also as a preservative and stabiliser in food products to enhance and prolong their shelf life on grocery store shelves, driving profitability for the food industry.

As stated by the Corn Refiners Association, high fructose corn syrup, unlike sugar, drives profitability for members of the Grocery Manufacturers Association and fulfills non-food roles in the following ways:
• Maintains freshness in condiments
• Enhances fruit & spice flavors in marinades
• Aids in fermentation for breads and yogurts
• Retains moisture in breakfast bars & cereals
• Makes high fiber baked goods and cereals palatable
• Maintains consistent flavors in beverages
• Keeps ingredients evenly mixed in salad dressings

Can sugar do that for the food industry? Not at all.
But high fructose corn syrup does a lot more for members of the Grocery Manufacturers Association. It enhances profitability, increases margins and preserves products on grocery store shelves, reducing the costs associated with the labor-intensive exercise of restocking. Sugar can't do that. Mother Nature didn't design it to be that profitable.

But despite those differences, "sugar is sugar", claims the Corn Refiners Association.

And gas is gas, but the odors my kids emit aren't the same thing that I put into my car to get them to school. To claim that would be irresponsible, and to claim that high fructose corn syrup, by any name, is the same as sugar is irresponsible, too.

So while the industry-funded spokespeople and scientists who serve as consultants may promote the consumption of this product, based on industry-funded science, in an attempt to drive profitability for the members of the Corn Refiners Association who produce it, the fact of the matter is that this corn product is not being used by Kraft, Coca Cola and Wal-Mart in the products that they manufacture and sell in other developed countries, especially products marketed to children.

So while the corn industry may encourage us not to worry our little heads about their product, using chiseled "farmers" as spokespeople urging us that, after all, it's just "corn sugar" (and a few other ingredients that get spun into it in a laboratory), the reality is that corn allergies, obesity and diabetes have become increasingly prevalent since its introduction twenty years ago.

And while correlation is not causation, no long term human studies have been conducted on the impact that the novel proteins and allergens now found in our corn are having on the health of our children. So while the corn industry may claim "no evidence of harm", as a result, American eaters might want to follow the lead of eaters in other developed countries and exercise precaution, opting out of the manufactured demand that the latest ad campaign is trying to create.

And rather than eat a product that was introduced in 1983 and engineered in a plant to drive profitability for Cargill, ADM and members of the Corn Refiners Association, you may want to exercise precaution and opt for sugar, as its presence in the marketplace preceded the epidemics of obesity, diabetes and corn allergies that we are now seeing in our children.

By Robyn O'Brien: Founder, AllergyKids Foundation, Author, The Unhealthy Truth

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I believe SUV's are used to transport fat-ass children. Which is why you'll never see their mother drive a small 4 door.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

I Lost My Damn Appetite

Just now, I was looking for a lunch and possible dinner grab. I haven't been to Chili's in a long time(Not since I went and saw that good-for-nothing loafer Longroofer). The thought was to do a to-go from Chili's...

That is until(for God only knows what possible reason I did this) I looked at the nutritional information on the items I was eye-balling...longingly. Here's what I found from the choices I would have made. AND GODDAMMIT NO, I WASN'T GOING TO EAT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!!! Anyway, here they are:

BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich
Serving Size: As Served on a White Bun
w/ Fries, unless otherwise indicated

Cal: 1250
Sat Fat(g): 14
Sod(mg): 3320

Oldtimer® Burger

Serving Size:As Served on a White Bun
w/ Fries, unless otherwise indicated

Cal: 1260
Fat(g): 62
Sat Fat(g): 16
Sod(mg): 3140

These were 2 of my top 2 choices that I "was" thinking about. Just for the sake of argument, let's say I ate the whole damn thing. the next time I would be able to eat would be Tuesday which would be a day of "juicing". Which is a day that NOBODY wants to be your roommate, let alone friend.

I would have enough Sodium in me alone to sue Sony for not getting permission to use the name Salt in their movie. That is unless I haven't stroked out by then. There's enough sodium here for the next snowfall, to which I would just drag my bare ass across the driveway to melt the ice. When the salt industry does it's taxes next time, it would list me as a dependent.

Just looking at the fat content makes me sick to all 4 of my stomachs! I wouldn't know what to put on in the morning: deodorant or a honey glaze, or perhaps pineapple slices with cherries? All that fat in me could land me a part in the next filming of Precious.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I'm going to Subway.

Monday, August 30, 2010

I've Been Busy Clubbing Baby Seals

For the last few days, weeks, months, I have not been feeling like all. For the most part, from what I could tell, it's been 2 really distinct problems for me: "I don't know" and "I don't care". Do I know what happened? NO. Do I care? At this point...NO. One thing I do know is, be careful what you put on Facebook.

Since my last post, I have been busy. I've been clubbing baby seals, working behind the scenes for Republicans AND Democrats, doing wet-work for both BP and WikiLeaks, while in what spare time I managed from that, sent Bristol Palin some anonymous photos of Levi(I had no idea it would go THAT far).

When I first started this post, I thought it would be brief and to the point, but after I thought up the examples, scenarios, questions...DAMN! That's just WAY too much work and I ain't getting paid for it. All I really wanted to post about was "outrage" and not by me, but with everyone else.

Bottom line is, stop being outraged about Katrina - 5 years after, Emmy's - who wore who and how they looked, restoring honor in D.C. - face it, it was nothing more than a boost to the D.C. economy and that's it. Still wonder where this is going? I'll leave you with some food for thought:

Katrina 5 years after - Hey Brian Williams and everyone else that showed up on Meet the Press in New Orleans, nice threads! How much did those clothes set you back(or us)? By the way, you get enough TV time? Did ya milk it enough? Enjoy the air conditioned ride back home.

Emmy's - Hey media, remember what you've been saying about cyber-bullying and how being skinny is high pressure on today's youth and we shouldn't be judged by what we have or have not? (Do I really need to explain that further?)

Restoring honor in D.C - Yo glenn(not capitalized for a reason), when we get to God Bootcamp, will there be punch served? Also, where will we sleep? Shall we get a hotel or do we all just sleep inside a bunker that will be surrounded by flammable liquids? Oh, the folks at Staples, Office Depot and Capital Hill(you know, "the enemy") wanted to thank you for getting all those folks to D.C. to unload some cash, it was a shitty summer.


I am the Complaint Department Manager and selling out pays more than just sitting there stuffing your face and getting worked up.

Friday, March 26, 2010

What A Difference A Year Makes

Just did my taxes today. I always wait 'til it's close to the deadline due to the fact that it's a pain, I have a shitload of deductions and organizing it all is a pain in the proverbial ass.

For the past few years, I either have to pay a couple hundred bucks or get back maybe a hundred. Last year, I got the refund of just slightly over a hundred so, naturally I'm not too fired up to get maybe the same results. This year, that amount went up 10-FUCKING-FOLD...IN MY FAVOR!!! WOOOOOOOOT!!!

Granted, the reason why it went up so much was due to the recent education credits that rolled out under this new administration. Kinda makes me think that this really is a good time to be a college student and finally not feel punished for wanting to be one.

I'm just sayin'...

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve the new tax my favor.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Why Do Men Cheat?

Newest celebrity gossip(as if I really give a shit): Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock. Are you kidding me??? NO WAY!!! I NEVER saw that one coming. Uh, yeah...right. If I only placed that bet, I would have won.

Real reason I bring this up? Sure enough, I see another "sex addiction" claim coming from this douchebag. I'm sick and tired of hearing "sex addiction" for the reason why this ass hat or that other insincere douchebag Tiger Woods as for why they cheated. Want to know the REAL reason? EGO. Don't like that short answer? Fine, I'll make it more marketable and sexy, "Ego Addiction". BOO-YAH!

From all the alleged sufferers of "sex addiction", including this poor guy who slept with 90 women in a month , nothing has made me believe that their problem was sex, but a more underlying problem with their ego. As anyone who has ever learned about psychology, there is a difference in ego and he unrestrained id. These fuckers(snicker) are full of themselves and nothing more. Not convinced?

Take the douchebag-du-jour Jesse G. James. (1) This guy is on his third marriage already and at least one of the other 2 wives was a porn star, not sure about the first. Nevertheless, he's been married twice before already: WARNING. (2) He's now(or should I say, "for now") married to Sandra Bullock. A woman who is HIGHLY successful and his success comes from what? Reality TV and being a well-known grease monkey. Constantly, his wife's success overshadows this guy and now he realizes he has to deal with that in some way. Deflated ego...check, free time...check, available skank willing to sleep with a married has-been...check. This is just one way that the ego of a man that has no business being married needed to be stroked, remember that, one way. The others should be more obvious.

Women cheat too, with the exception of a few cases, they cheat mainly for different reasons and it's WAY more personal. Any way you slice it, there is no "sex addiction" in any of this. These guys are at fault, PERIOD! Stop allowing these douchebags an easy way out by filling their heads with shit that lets them think that there's something else to blame and they have a "condition". It's bullshit! Someone talk me down, if you can.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don't approve the "sex addiction" message.

Friday, March 5, 2010


Got your attention, didn't it? I found this amusing while going about my business flying around in the Stinger Missile today.

Yeah, I can't tell you how many times I got behind a dump truck and said to myself, "SELF! Do you think this guy would mind if I gave him a little nudge?" I know the Stinger Missile could take it, know, I'm feeling a bit frisky. I'll push that bastard myself...uphill...BOTH WAYS! I gots that kind of skrempf.

Just so you know, dump beds are actually not as strong as they look, they tend to get warped and with the right touch in the right spot, can easily screw up the hydraulics. So, on second thought, I better not show off my mad skrempf as I wouldn't want to screw up a perfectly good dump truck just to prove a point. Sorry, ladies.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this shameless self promotion of my skrempf.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

That Ain't Right!

Something that hasn't been around for a while, making a return. For those of you that know the deal, same shit, different...month(?). Everyone else, if you've been exposed to something so fucking stupid that it just pisses you off to no end, leave it here and feel better having done so. It's time to vent.

For me, the damn kin has done been silent fer a spell. Lately, it seems like I'm getting distracted by a lot of stupid shit, nothing major, but it's distracting.

Anybody got someshin' else to bitch about?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I Stand Corrected...

On the last post, I thought the email that got forwarded to me was "one of the worst/stupidest/irresponsible ones yet." Apparently, I stand corrected. Once again, the fucking retards are out of material and found something so damn stupid, that it must have been proofed and researched by a teabagger. I just wish my brother-in-law's kin would just admit that they don't like having a black president. In the words of Chris Rock: "Could ya be a man? Could ya be a fuckin' man?" Obviously, I have no problems saying what's on my mind and I'm unapologetic and shameless. Anyway, here's what those dumb fuckers sent:

Subject: What A Comparison

I think these 2 pictures make some kind of statement!!!!!!!!!!

Here is what Obama needs set up to talk to a few
school children. Not much room for kids. Still needs to have the teleprompters.
The secret service guy in back keeps eyes out for
any terrorist-type-8-year-old with tea partying parents.

Here’s what the last guy needed.

IN GOD WE TRUST. BUT NOT "OBAMA".(This is what you call christian douchebaggery)

Now, I know my brother-in-law loves his family, but....(You know, I'm really not sure where I was going with this). Anyway, I knew about this bullshit "comparison" from some time ago and it was also disproved at the same time. I guess these douchebags didn't get the memo, let alone they probably can't even spell it. To their chagrin, my brother-in-law had, once again, a response was made that pushed their noses in this pile of shit:

Not so....

That picture was for the media conference BEFORE he talked to the children. Correct picture but wrong context...

More propaganda?

Once again, I don't know how he retorts so diligently, family or not. (You can see why an invitation to the family reunion never gets to me as laughter is not an appropriate way to respond). If You have family members that are this fucking stupid and/or racist, you have my sympathies. I guess trying to get them to stop sending stupid shit like this will be about as easy as telling them that mullets and rat tails are no longer acceptable hair styles.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I wish this part of the family would stop reproducing...I don't care how attractive their sisters/cousins are.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

You Can't Escape Redneck Kin with Access to Them There Internets

This is the kind of shit he(and me by proxy) has to put up with. The following is an email that was forwarded to him, of which he answered appropriately minus the carnal verbs that I would have personally thrown in for good measure(I'm not making this shit up):

Subject:Fw: Keep your feet off the desk!

Does this photo of President Obama in the Oval Office convey anything about his attitude and arrogance?
Would you speak with the Chief of Staff, your Chief Economics Adviser, your Senior Adviser, or anyone, with your feet up on the Resolute Desk –
a gift from Queen Victoria to President Rutherford B. Hayes in 1880?

This arrogant, immature, self-centered man has no sense of honor, or simple decency.
While this posture is disrespectful in any culture, it is not appropriate in any executive setting. Further, in over half of the cultures of the world,
it is recognized not only as disrespectful, but as an extreme insult.
He thinks of himself as a king, not as a servant of the people, humbly occupying our White House for his term in office.
Electing him was an enormous mistake and will cost us in many ways, for generations.

IN GOD WE TRUST. BUT NOT "OBAMA".(Ripped from the pages of the new "Stars and Bars" version of the bible, no doubt)

The name(s) of the retarded individual(s) responsible for sending this to my brother-in-law will be withheld as to not further damage their already stellar, christian reputation. The response to this was "tasteful" in my opinion as if it were up to me, I probably would have added more than the aforementioned carnal verbs.

What's next? A video of him leaving the bathroom without washing his hands? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!! This is just a sample of what I get to take a peak at almost on a daily basis. This was one of the worst/stupidest/irresponsible ones yet. Of course, I have more to say about this, but that would turn this into a long-ass post and I'm not fucking interested in that.

Now for my brother-in-law's response:
Real Photo, Inaccurate Description

Besides, showing soles of shoes is not "rude" in America - you know, western culture where we live. Now someone is trying to defend the customs in other parts of the world (Middle East, Thailand, Korea and some parts of Africa) which is not HALF THE WORLD.

Propping of feet might not be commonplace, but certainly inaccurate to say - NEVER done.

Just check out SNOPES that show George W. Bush and Gerald Ford doing the same damn thing!

Let's stick to the truth, if at all possible.

The name of my brother-in-law will be withheld as to not further embarrass him in regards to the actions taken by his "christian" kin.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and this is why I support abortion past the 89th trimester.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Roy Blunt is a "No Comment" Having and Hypocritical Piece of Shit!!!

Usually, Busplunge sits around waiting for his wife to come around and knock the dust of him a few times a day. HOWEVER, today the old fart sprang into some action to catch some sort of comment from that hypocritical piece of shit Roy Blunt from (shamefully)his district. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it?

Good-ole-boy Roy tried to score some points with the locals by getting $500,000 of stimulus money to fund a project at Jordan Valley. Of course, as we all know, the stimulus was a wasteful piece of legislation and Good-ole-boy Roy looked after our interests and voted "NO" to that there stimulus bill. Well, what that underhanded mother fucker DIDN'T want getting out is that he personally asked for some of that "wasteful spending" to be brought in to his district. But hey, I'm real shitty at telling(or in this case retelling) stories. Head over to the old fart's (busplunge)blog and see what hypocrisy looks like up close...and personal.

Roy Blunt, you are a back-stabbing, obstructionist, hypocritical mother-fucking piece of shit!

Love always,


I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve of this "gotcha" politics. FUCK YOU, ROY!

Monday, February 15, 2010

New(?) Blogger on the Block!

SkyGirl is back from hiatus and not wasting time mincing words. Nobody loves a good shit disturbance like yours truly and if you're down with that, then you need to check out Reversing the Handbasket. If you read this post and don't check it out, then you don't just suck, you ARE suck(yes, there is a difference).

Kit Bond, you are an antiquated douchebag dejour.(I just felt like floating that out there.) That goes for your little bastard mini-me Aaron Schock as well.

P.S. Fuck you both

Love always,


I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve the shilling of this new blog.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Money Ain't Everything

Here's a story that backs up something I've been saying for about 4-5 years now. Back around 12 years ago, I started making some damn good money, only problem was that it stressed me out and made me lazy in a lot of areas. For the last few years, my income got chopped in half, literally. Funny thing, I can't remember a time where I have been this content. Thus, money can't buy happiness. I'd also like to add that it makes you lazy and selfish(maybe not as a whole, but definitely in certain areas).

Enter this guy, Karl Rabeder, who sees things much like I do. He made a million dollar fortune, but it didn't make him happy, so he gave it ALL away. From the article:

"My idea is to have nothing left. Absolutely nothing," he told The Daily Telegraph. "Money is counterproductive – it prevents happiness to come."

Instead, he will move out of his luxury Alpine retreat into a small wooden hut in the mountains or a simple bedsit in Innsbruck.

His entire proceeds are going to charities he set up in Central and Latin America, but he will not even take a salary from these.

"For a long time I believed that more wealth and luxury automatically meant more happiness," he said. "I come from a very poor family where the rules were to work more to achieve more material things, and I applied this for many years," said Mr Rabeder.

But over time, he had another, conflicting feeling.

"More and more I heard the words: ‘Stop what you are doing now – all this luxury and consumerism – and start your real life’," he said. "I had the feeling I was working as a slave for things that I did not wish for or need. I have the feeling that there are lot of people doing the same thing."

I triple dog dare all you rich fat bastards to follow this guy's example. After all, it ain't socialism if it's self imposed, think about it.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this (self imposed)redistribution of wealth.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hey Ma? Ya Happy Now?

My handy work on a VERY dirty Stinger Missile. Damn thing hasn't had a bath since Fall...of last year. Dirty, but still faster than the BMW 1 series, BOO-YAH!

I am the Complaint Department Manager and my mom approves this message.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Pat Roberton Is A Sack of Shit!!!

Normally, I would say something like, "Pat Robertson, have you lost your damn mind?!?!". But in this case, I don't find that......appropriate enough. How did I come to this distasteful conclusion? See for yourselves:

This is just ONE of the many reasons I don't go for organized religion. No offense to those who do subscribe in the faith of their choosing, it's just me. So, I'll put this in terms that sack of shit Pat Robertson can understand and relate to:

Just like Falwell, I hope this sack of shit leaves this earth soon so he can go smoke his turd in hell where he belongs. Hey Pat, when you get to hell, tell Falwell I said...."HA, TOLD YA SO, DOUCHEBAG!"

Pat, you sack of shit, you and those like you ought to be beaten within an inch of death, allow you to get better, then get beaten within an inch of death YET again. (To those of you reading this now, No, I will not switch to decaf. Don't bother asking that or anything remotely similar, I'm on a good ranting roll here.) I hope that when your time comes, you get to take that other piece of shit Hagee with you. In the words of Mr. Garrison, "You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!"

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this message calling Pat Robertson a "sack of shit".

EDIT: Jenn, here's a top 10 of some of this shit bag's famous "words of encouragement":

10. "Lord, give us righteous judges who will not try to legislate and dominate this society. Take control, Lord! We ask for additional vacancies on the court." –Pat Robertson

9. "Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history." –Pat Robertson

8. "I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you, This is not a message of hate -- this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It'll bring about terrorist bombs; it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor." –Pat Robertson, on "gay days" at Disneyworld

7. "(T)he feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." –Pat Robertson

6. "I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period." –Pat Robertson

5. "I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don't wonder why he hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for his help because he might not be there." --Pat Robertson, after the city of Dover, Pennsylvania voted to boot the current school board, which instituted an intelligent design policy that led to a federal trial

4. "God considers this land to be his. You read the Bible and he says 'This is my land,' and for any prime minister of Israel who decides he is going to carve it up and give it away, God says, 'No, this is mine.' ... He was dividing God's land. And I would say, 'Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations, or the United States of America.' God says, 'This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.'" --Pat Robertson, on why Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a massive stroke

3. "Maybe we need a very small nuke thrown off on Foggy Bottom to shake things up" –Pat Robertson, on nuking the State Department

2. "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war ... We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with." –Pat Robertson, calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez

1. "It may be a blessing in disguise. ... Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal. Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other." –Pat Robertson, on the earthquake in Haiti that destroyed the capital and killed tens of thousands of people, Jan. 13, 2010

Bottom line: I have a problem with this bag of shit and those like him and those that follow him. I can't digest what he calls religion, mainly because it isn't REAL religion. He's just a few clicks away from calling a Christian Jihad. If for some reason what he said just had to be said, he has NO call in saying it, none. May he rest in pieces...soon.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Juvenile Antics: Begin Blogger Tag!

That's just it, a simple game of tag. I'm running a bit of an experiment and found this to be a great option. Besides, I deserve to exercise my right of tomfoolery after doing this to the driveway and sidewalk by hand:

Notice that everyone else is still packed with snow, it was the last time it snowed a week ago and I did the same thing then. I digress...

The rules are as follows:

1. Tag only by blogroll(If you don't have one,!)
2. NO TAG-BACKS! (Let's be adults about this, shall we?)
3. NO FRICKIN' MEMES!!! If you try to amend this you will automatically be deemed as having cooties...FOR LIFE!
4. Tag only one person, it's that easy. This is straight-up school yard, 3rd grade "Tag, your it!"
5. As the instigator of these shenanigans, I may tag more than one person at any given time.*

I am the Complaint Department Manager and you have been warned!

* void where prohibited, offer not valid in Rhode Island. Some restrictions may still apply, see your carrier for details. Side effect may be hair loss, distemper, nausea, explosive diarrhea, suicidal thoughts and hurt feelings, please see your doctor. Complaint Department Manager not responsible for any harm/ill will/damage inflicted in this game of tag.

Friday, January 1, 2010

The Generation Gap

double click image for these old eyes

thanks Hooniverse