Saturday, June 28, 2008

Paul Walker and Vin Diesel Are an Axis of Evil

I've witnessed and experienced WAY too much bad news lately. So, I'm going to do what any red blooded American would do at a time like this, launch an offensive campaign to distract you from the bad things going on. I start with taking a shot at the new (ugh, dear God) Fast and the Furious 4 movie set to be released some time next year. With the price of gas the way it is, they'll have to charge $15 a ticket just to recover the cost of fuel for this soon to be crappy flick. *sniff* *sniff* What is that disgusting smell? Oh yeah, it's Paul Walker's dead and decaying career left laying out in the sun. Paul Walker who is fast turning himself into John Ritter in the sense that he doesn't know how to turn down a script. And Vin Diesel, Vin Vin Vin Vin, VIN! When are you ever going to learn to NOT do the same? When the producer asks you to lunch to go over the script, you eat the free lunch and before you commit to the script, excuse yourself to the restroom then slip out the front door, it's easy and simple, just like the range in your acting abilities.

What was that? Oh, just our careers, leaving us in the dust.

Another thing that disturbs me about this thing is that there is a disturbing rumour that they will be using a choice number of Subaru STI's in the film. This may keep me awake at night. This string of F&F movies have such corny catch phrases and one liners it could be tapped as source for Ethanol. I mean, are the producers in that much of a need for a write off? Here are a few possible additions to the title:

Fast and the Furious 4: The Horse Isn't Dead and It's Pinata Time!
Fast and the Furious 4: Because Our Houses Are In Foreclosure.
Fast and the Furious 4: Killing Our Careers...Just To Watch Them Die!
Fast and the Furious 4: Next Stop...POWER WHEELS BEEEYOOOOTCH!
Fast and the Furious 4: This Thing Blows Like Kim Kardashian

and last, but not least
Fast and the Furious 4: Just One Last Thing to Blame George Bush and Congress For

You know this whole film really isn't necessary, I can entertain the masses with a simple .gif that is cheap, easy and environmentally friendly. Behold my version of a REAL entertaining Fast and the Furious movie that cuts through the crap, sums up what these movies are all about, is more entertaining and in the end will emphasize what will happen with Paul Walker's career:

Thursday, June 26, 2008

A Great Blogger Has Suffered a Loss

Just while ago, I was checking in on Dr. Sardonicus over at the Pole Hill Sanitarium. My heart did as others when I read his latest post. His wife had not been doing well as of the last few weeks and now she has passed on. I'm actually shaking a bit now as I type this, as this is a very tragic thing that has happened to a man who was a frequent commenter here at the Complaints Dept. I never met the man, but I have a great sense of his being and I have taken a liking to him. My thoughts and condolences are with him and his family right now and I wish him the strength to deal with this tragic and sudden loss. I don't ask a whole lot from any who read this lousy blog of mine, but I do ask that you keep this man in your thoughts and prayers. If there's one thing I know, I know a great blogger when I invade one and crash the party...he is definitely one of them. May you have eternal peace, Mrs. S.

Again, my deepest sympathies to you and your family Doc.

Gratuitous Nepotism - 122,000 Miles Never Looked This Good.

After the last month of expenses for this thing, I decided that it should at least look the part, so I gave it the once over. This is the fruit of my labor. I did this while the power in Ozark went out yesterday for about 3 hours and I wasn't going to stay in an 80 degree house doing nothing, when I could be sweating it out outside while doing something.

In addition to my sense of accomplishment, I also got a bit of a sun burn on the back of my shoulders...ouch. There is a chance of rain this week and weekend, so if it even looks like it will happen anytime soon and I need to go somewhere...I'M WALKING!!! Remember those times when some of you would polish up the ride and then go take it for a cruise so people could admire your handiwork? If the sky remains stable, I may be feelin a bit nostalgic. Hard to imagine this thing has 122,000 miles on it...and STILL starts and runs like it came off the dealer's lot.

End gratuitous nepotism

Monday, June 23, 2008

Today's Sightings and Musings

I saw and experienced some things today that put my Single Core Cranium II Thought Processor on sensory overload today. Intel inside??? I can only speculate. Anyway, I actually had to go out and earn some money today and this time I had to road trip to Branson and Springfield. I believe that with gas prices the way they are, a 35 mile(one way) trip to Branson qualifies as a road trip. I am ashamed to admit that I was not able to capture some of the sightings via camera phone as it would mean putting the car in the ditch just so you could get a glimpse of what I saw, forgive me. While driving I managed to get a glimpse of an RV pulling a Toyota Prius, no big deal right? Then I thought, that looks a bit perplexing. A gas hog towing a gas miser(pause for reflection...put on music if you want, I care). I've seen this picture about a million times and it just now hits me. Am I the only one who views this as a bit off?

From that point, I wound up traveling to Sam's Club(I hate those bastards...but that's because it makes my MasterCard burn a hole in my pocket just so it can reach the hand...not MY hand, the cashier's). This is one of the very few places around here you'll find Mr. Pibb on tap, WITH UNLIMITED REFILLS!!! I have a weakness for the stuff, but it wields a powerful double-edged sword. First of course, I find myself making frequent trips to the bathroom to unload the mass quantities of liquid(don't forget to wash your hands), but that ain't the worst part. Sure, it is a joy for taste buds, but there is second "business" trip I'll have to make to the bathroom and this "business", I flat out refuse to handle at the Sam's Club's bathroom. Let me put it to you this way, if you find yourself getting backed up plumbing, Mr. Pibb will dislodge ANY clog that gets in it's path, screw Ex-lax, that's for people who want to teach their kids lessons why you don't raid mom and dad's chocolate stash. Oh Jim, if you are reading this, 1000 Styrofoam cups for 20 bucks in the 8 oz. size, drink up dude.

Anyway, while leaving Sam's to go to Home Depot, I was at the stoplight to get on to HWY 65, when to my left, a guy in a Dodge Neon starts to rev his engine at me...I laughed so hard I pee'd myself a little from yet more leftover Mr. Pibb. As I let Speed Racer go, I felt the other side of that double edge sword swinging for my lower quadrant and there was no dodging it. The Home Depot visit lasted all of about 5 minutes, by far the fastest time I've ever spent in Home Depot. I had to make a delivery and quick...I now know what brown can do for you...and I don't like what it did for me. In a twist of irony, after I got home, I had a UPS package waiting for me on the front porch, I shit you not.

Moral of this story: Even though this wasn't a bad day, I can literally say my day turned out like crap.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I'll Say It Again

I've mentioned this a time or two , but it still irks me. I may as well beat this horse 'til I'm sure it's dead and so are the flys buzzing around it. Why is it that Europe gets the better cars? I've seen this talked about in forums over and over and I see some really, uh..drrrrrrr answers. I love the,"Well, their fuel is higher than ours so they need to have more efficient cars? ...And? So let me get this straight, if gas prices go back to say...$2.00 a gallon, does this mean we should all go out and put the demand for H1's and H2's to all time high? That's about as responsible as bailing out all those celebrities that are getting their homes foreclosed on, just because they're swell guys. (Sorry Ed McMahon, you make that kind of coin and don't hire a respectable accountant???) This country suffers from a, "I want my cake AND eat it too WITH an option of going back for seconds" complex. Lets not be like Al Roker and NOT learn from our lessons(Yep, he's fat...again). I am one who is trying to make the most of this. I had a lot of sweet motor upgrades to the Stinger Missile, but in doing so will only decrease my mileage while increasing my chances for boneheaded opportunities of getting a speeding ticket while racing junior who's out driving mom's Jag. So now, I'm selling the parts. If I had my druthers, I'd trade my car RIGHT NOW for a turbo diesel or even a hybrid car. I digress and summarize that this country lacks accountability and doesn't really learn well from past mistakes.

Moving on, VW has announced that the new Jetta will be available this Fall. There's a bit more added intel from Dieselblog on this. I'd love to see what a hypermiler could do with this, just out of curiosity.

Oh, and if that wasn't enough to convince people to find better MPG's, think twice before going over the speed limit, there may be more cities following this lead. I for one will be taking some time to reevaluate my driving habits, in the spirit of accountability and common sense.

I'm trying to be a better example.(key word:trying)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

This Has GOT to Suck

This is yet another reason why I won't get a tattoo. For those of you that do have 'em, be glad yours didn't turn out like this guy's.

Go ahead, click on it. Get a better look.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Too Much Depressing Crap Lately

Anymore bad news or posts like that last one and I'm going on Lithium. Time to change gears and what better way to do that than with some kick ass videos?!?! I felt like doing a few of my favorite Heavy Metal remakes of some classic rock tunes. Here's a real treat for the speakers that'll make ya wanna jam along and get you looks like you'd give your dentist if you woke up in the chair with dollar bills stuffed in your underwear and feelin' like a whole lotta wrong had been done. I present the following:

Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You - Great White(Led Zepplin)

Jack Russell gave me goose bumps with how he pulled that off.

All the Way From Memphis - Contraband(Mott the Hoople)

Video quality sucks, sorry, but the song still rocks!

The Real Me - W.A.S.P.(The Who)

I love the drum kit and the drum work by Frankie Benalli.

I Can't Explain - The Scorpions(The Who...again)

Hard to imagine that these guys have been around for 40 years.

Johnny B. Goode - Judas Priest(Chuck Berry)

By far the hardest and the best of this batch. Rob Halford can really bring it.

American Woman - Lenny Kravitz(The Guess Who)

Lenny isn't really Heavy Metal, but I just couldn't leave this one out. Besides, that woman playin' the drums(Cindy Blackman) rocks! Something about a woman holding both hands!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

A Final Farewell To A Great Jounalist And A Great Father

Today is Sunday and if it's Sunday, it's Meet the Press. On Father's day, I have but one real complaint and that is that Tim Russert wasn't given enough time to carry on a Sunday tradition that I have come to enjoy every Sunday morning. As you all know by now, Tim Russert passed away this weekend at the very young age of 58. Even though, I have never been one to make such a post like this, I can't help but feel compelled to give my thoughts on man who was so much to so many people including me.

Tim inserted himself into a world of people that get all the blame and none of the credit, that's politics. In that world, he provided many a moment that was considered "gotcha" by many people, but make no mistake, anyone who appeared on his program knew very well that the moment was coming and he'll get to it in his time. It is impossible to think of how a person will now spend a Sunday without eagerly awaiting for that moment. This was my favorite quality about Tim and of course his incredible sense of accountability. How anyone could go on that show and not expect to be held accountable from a comment mentioned some 4 years ago or better and not be asked to explain themselves is beyond me and those particular moments always came at the best times, always. There IS no better moderator in the business and there will never be one comparable to a man who truly loved the marriage of journalism and politics.

I am not a journalist in any sense of the word, but one thing I do know of journalism is that I know its greatness when I see it. Journalism suffers an enormous loss with his passing. He was a father, a husband and a son to Big Russ. Most importantly, he was Buffalo's favorite son. I will miss those particular Sundays when Buffalo would play Miami and I would hear my favorite cheer for Buffalo, "Go Bills, squish the fish." It didn't matter if it was the Bills, the Sabres or even the B.C. Eagles, Buffalo and Boston had the ultimate fan on their side.

I encourage all of you who my read this today or whenever to give someone close to you a moment, a conversation or even a hug and do so in the memory of a man who shared such closeness with his own family. Thank you Tim for giving us 17 years of journalism at its finest on the stage of the ultimate town hall. Thank you for giving us such a fine example of what is means to be a father, a husband and an honorable son.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

What In the Watubi?!?!

I never put stock in the whole "Friday the 13th" crap, besides, being superstitious is bad luck. Any way, I have however found the source for all my recent misfortune. It appears my little hooligans knack for digging has finally made a contribution to the household. Look what they dug up.


I found this som' bitch in my backyard. Note to self: Find Bob Denver's burial plot, stand over grave and urinate, leave when finished(don't forget to shake). Next person that curses me or tries this kind of crap and it causes a downfall, I'll kick you in the Watubi!!! Maybe now my luck will change for the better. In case you may be wondering where this thing is right now...well, lets just say its not here anymore, ya just never know where it may pop up next.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Man, I'm Really Frustrated!!!

I've had so much unnecessary activity(my opinion) on my charge card lately that the city of Springfield and Ozark have both offered me jobs...whatever. I just feel so much frustration about all the expenses lately that it's not EVEN funny. I've also been trying to unload some performance parts for my Subaru and so far, I had 2 willing buyers, but they're not able to cough up the cash when it's time to start closing the deal. I'm pissed! I think I'm dealing with a bunch of teenagers that their alligator mouths are writing checks their canary ass can't cash. I set a reasonable price, I get countered, I except, then it's like, "Dude, I was checkin' out the account for the cash and the girlfriend spent it on some stupid shit and now I'm pissed. Sorry man, I'll try to find a way to make this happen, dude."

*squints eyes then puts fist through notebook screen*

Of course, I never hear from them after this little fiasco. This is twice, that this has happened(not the same exact story mind you but somewhat just as chicken shit). This whole experience for me has been more disturbing than a Golden Girls wet T-shirt contest. I could seriously bite a railroad spike into 3 pieces. As an added bonus, my internet connection has been fading in and out like Charlie Sheen's sobriety.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Perhaps These Guys Are Trying To Tell Us Something

The idiot of the village that is in S.W. Mo. would like to share an observation. I was mowing my yard a little while ago and saw this in the upper corner of my house. I then took a look around to scan the neighborhood and couldn't help but notice that EVERY SINGLE HOUSE surrounding mine had one of these little homes on their not-so-little homes. It got me to thinking, this land was once prevalent with trees and now it just has homes on it. This situation also makes me think how we took the land from the native indians and now they're getting it back by the way of casino and tacky jewelry. *ehem* I digress, an idea sprang earlier this year for me to start planting trees in my yard and my mother(in her infinite resourcefulness) found the National Arbor Day Society. The run down is this, you can get 10 trees for 10 bucks shipped to your door. You get a wide variety of trees to choose from and a membership to the foundation which requires NO further obligation. Don't need 10 trees? Neither did my mother, as she ponied up the 10 bucks just to get a few and is giving me the rest. This would be a great way to promote community involvement for those who consider themselves tree huggers. All kinds of scenarios are possible here. Get 10 neighbors to kick in a buck for a single tree each or 2 bucks for 2, etc... More of the land in and around S.W. Mo. is being developed, even with a VERY slow housing market. I believe the builder's loan loop hole is being milked to an irresponsible level. It's sad seeing all the fires of the old trees that were cut down for the sake of housing that is nonexistent or commercial strip malls that lay vacant for a year or more. It's no wonder that road kill around here lately is disturbingly getting more and more prevalent as well...think about it.

So far, I found 2 nests on my gutters and don't have the heart to touch the nests and I seriously doubt I'll be able to collect rent from them. I also have a few scattered on top of fence posts in my backyard. Perhaps with these trees that I will be planting, these birds will have new real estate to park themselves. The only thing is, it's going to take a while for them to grow to a size appropriate enough to be nest worthy. At least I'm trying. As a side note, ever see what those construction contractors drive?

End green rant.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Cars Are More Trouble Than They're Worth

The Stinger Missile

Anybody good at crunching numbers or good at making solid investments will tell you that a car is probably the worst investment you can make. I subscribe to that idea and will add that it's a lousy way to keep your sanity as it gains does the person. From a not-so-recent post, I spent time, money and aggravation replacing the O2 sensor. Not too long ago, ANOTHER check engine light goes off. This time it's a tumble generator valve...??? I have never heard of such a device on a car til now. It was actually the sensor and it involves(more man talk hear, ladies and uninterested men, amuse yourselves at this time) regulating the airflow to the intake. This faulty sensor caused me to get a 20% reduction on my mileage. As you know, gas is higher than the expectations of Britney Spears and Linsey Lohan getting their shit together AND I have to buy premium fuel, OUCH! Well, $500 later(job could not be performed by me as I do not have the equipment for this job) and a few miles down the road, the A/C goes out. I have a leak and need a new compressor...BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!! I looked myself to check the timing belt to see how it was holding up, it needs replacing...ANOTHER $775! Did I mention that it is time for the oil change as well? With all this in mind, the thought went through my head as whether or not I should just sell my car as dealerships don't like making even trades. Keep in mind, this thing has over 120,000 miles on it and hasn't given me hardly any grief at all up to this point. I was hoping the Stinger Missile would hold out til the new line of TDI's hit the states, but DAMN! The maintenance bills are scarier than Joan Rivers before AND after photos. Lets recap, shall we:

Oil change...$45
Used A/C compressor and install...$240
Tumble Generator Valve sensor replacement...$500
Timing, power steering and crank belts...$775
The look on my face when I get the next credit card statement...AHHHH, PISS OFF!!!

Another Example Of Human Indifference

This is the raw footage of Angel Torres crossing the street being grazed by one car then getting hit straight on by another. The 2 cars involved fled the scene and left the man there to die. As despicable as that is, that isn't all of it. People who witnessed the hit-and-run did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Oh sure, a few calls eventually were made to 9-1-1, but notice in the video how people just walk to him, then walk away. The poor guy was nothing more to them than a morbid attraction.

I post this, not just because of the story itself, but it immediately made me say to my self, "Self, this is no different than those lookie-loos that rubberneck at a bad accident on the interstate or highways and create MORE wrecks." Here's the deal, if you can't be part of the solution, don't add to the problem or BECOME a problem. Do you know how many wreck come about as a direct result of rubbernecking? It infuriates me to no end to see people like those dip shits in Hartford, CT. A bad accident is a tragedy, not a chance to be entertained while in your car or walking by. I've seen plenty of bad wrecks here in S.W. Mo. where HWY 65 and 60 meet and I just keep driving. Let the person have some dignity. If you can't help or just don't want to help, then MOVE ON!

(I smell another new rule.) NEW RULE: Those who cause an accident while rubbernecking shall be charged DOUBLE what the normal offenses call for AND you MUST show up for court to pay the fine as you will not be able to simply mail it in. You will be showcased yourself for all to see in the courtroom as to who the is the rubbernecker.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Complaints Department Endorses YET Another New Band: Airbourne

They aren't necessarily new, but they are ass kickin' great! I really have chalked up today's music as being full of nothing but fluff and bitch slaps to the music industry, however, from time to time a band comes along and...shakes things up a bit and I am one who takes notice of such things. BEHOLD: AIRBOURNE! Australia's newest export. These guys have a sound that is currently lacking in severe quantities today. I've got a chance to hear more of their material and it totally rocks! But hey, don't take my word for it, see and hear for yourselves:

Runnin' Wild

Anytime you can put Lemmy from Motorhead in the driver's seat(literally in this case) you will definitely get my attention and ever so eager ear. These guys evoke memories of a very young Metallica with the "no polish, just in your face" approach to Heavy Metal. Take a gander at this:

Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast

I have made an endorsement in the past, it's a trend I may just continue to help quelch my chronic complaints of today's music. Fuck you Kurt Cobain, you didn't completely polish off Heavy Metal...and it's making a come back, like it or not.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Times Are Tough And No One Is Really Helping.

Here's what I mean: I am watching a segment on the Today Show(again with the Today Show) and they are showing "partying" tips. This is for people who have more discretionary income and is not for those who have barely enough disposable income. I find this to be a waste of resources and somewhat irresponsible. Not everyone can go out and buy special dinnerware for out there! And what's up with napkin rings and name tags for your place setting??? So, what the hell am I going to do about it? I guess I'll start posting some real information you can use on a daily basis as a buying guide and/or resource. Before I make most any purchase, I consult a number of different avenues before just going out and buying something and as the saying goes, "NEVER PAY RETAIL!" The mere thought makes me cringe. There's no better feeling than when you let a retail institution know you have them over a barrel. So, I am going to post some useful links to some websites that will hopefully let all of you save some money.

Slickdeals This is the best place to research just about anything you want to buy. Make use out of using the "Search" feature on the forums.
Bensbargains This one also has a decent search feature as well and it may be more visually appealing to some. The comments that get posted are usually juvenile turbo nerds that violate my #1 commandment of the internet. These coupons you can print out and they are usually a higher value than what you will find in the Sunday paper, no joke.
Smartsource This is yet another coupon printing site like This one is self explanatory and it is also a coupon site, I love the Fiberone bars.
The Savings-Center This is kind of like the retailmenot site but easier to navigate, just scroll.
The Coupon Loop This has old and new printable coupon links, VERY useful.
Anandtech Forums This is for those who want to get their geek on and do it for less. These turbo nerds know where ALL the tech bargains are. Again use the search feature to find what you want.

Please note that a lot of these site need you to register and some may require you to download some off the coupon printing software. It is safe, I can assure you of that. Also, I am VERY aware of all the well known sites that some news broadcasts have mentioned, I can easily say that mine are better.

I have also used Ebay for setting the bar for pricing when I look for certain items, but I did have a slightly bad experience with Ebay as some of you may remember.