Sunday, December 27, 2009

We've All Lost Our Damn Minds!

Over the last few months, there has been a bit of a recurring theme. Most of it was true, albeit a bit tounge-in-cheek, but true. We've all lost our damn minds and here's how: We have become a people of Lost Temperament.

That is my diagnosis and that became more apparent when I watched "A Christmas Story" for the millionth time the other day. Have we really changed that much as a people? Nay, I say. Our needs haven't changed, just our temperament. We are now a people that are impatient, ill mannered and inattentive. The culprit? TECHNOLOGY!

Think about it. Watch "A Christmas story" or something very similar. Now, think about how nice and uncluttered we were back then. Take the Christmas season as an example. There were no gift cards, no WII/Playstation/Xbox, no cellphones/smartphones, no email/internet, etc... And yet, if you ask me, if given the chance, I'd go back to those times in a heartbeat. Simplicity. 20 years ago, what was on your Christmas list?

The way I see it, technology has made us a people that, if we don't see results now, that is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE! Rush, rush, rush(remember when that word actually meant something and not some inflamed hemorrhoid's name?). We have Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, Blackberry, Droid and Treos. We have the aforementioned game systems, laptops/netbooks, all with high speed internet. When something doesn't download fast enough, you lose your damn mind don't you? Admit it, you do.

But doesn't this mean we are different then we were then? Didn't 9-11 change us? Nah, we had our share of paranoia. Remember some paranoid dipshit named McCarthy? Back then it was Communism(still is to some becktards). Today it's Muslims(actually it's fundamentally radical Islam hijacked by extremists, you know, like Christianity is with John Hagee...even though he hasn't killed anyone...yet).

We are a people(mostly this country) of mass consumption. That isn't new either nor is demand. We are seeing the peak hit and the repercussions of this behavior. Anyone lost yet?

Tell you what, this post is VERY scattered and was intended as such. If I really wanted to put everything I wanted here, it would be too long of a post and I don't dedicate that kind of time to my post posts, I don't have that kind of time or patience(wink, wink).

This post was meant to serve as some food for thought as we reach the end of this year. The main point is that we haven't changed, just our behaviors/temperament. Think about that next time you hear a "new" song on satelitte radio or see a "new" flick in IMAX theaters. Nothing is new, just our behaviors/temperamant...our interpretaions. Look carefully through this post. If you don't see a "book in the works" worth of information here, then you may be a victim of what I just posted on...or an idiot.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this scattered thoughts post.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Have A Head Bangin' Christmas!

Expect no less from me.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I'm watching A Christmas Story...24 hours of it.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Skoal Brothers Christmas, I've Lost My Damn Mind

I think I already posted this before. So what? It gets a return visit, deal.

Skoal Brothers Xmas

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the trailor.
My sister woke up, while I was trying to nail 'er.
The socks was all hung, on my big mounted bass,
In hopes that St. Leon would be hauling ass.
The young'uns bunked down, all snug on the floor,
Each one had a dip, so they slept near the door.
Sis in her 105 shirt, and her John Deere cap,
Looked purty as a naked silouhette on a truck mud flap.
When out in the dog pen, there arose such a clatter,
I got up from sis, to see what was the matter.
When what to my swollen red eyes should I see,
A pink Coup De Ville, 1973.
He staggered so much, I thought, "What was he on"?
And could I buy some of that, from old St. Leon?
All my dogs started barkin, he started to shout,
Dog's hate St. Leon, you figure it out.
"Hey Whitey, Hey Crackerboy", he called me by name,
So I called off my dogs, and hauled up the game.
When he stepped on my porch, there was such a vibration,
I thanked God I installed a concrete foundation.
He was dressed all in fur, and chains made of gold,
On his feet were Air Jorden's, I 'specked he stoled.
Yes, he had toys, there was no mistakin,
But I still wasn't sure if he was given, or taken.
It was then that he pulled a knife from his sack,
As I readied myself for a Leon attack.
St. Leon surprised me and gave me great glee,
When he gift wrapped the knife, and put it under the tree.
He continued by filling the socks up with skoal,
His good deeds made me feel, like a major bung hole.
Then layin' his finger on the gold stud on his nose,
He said, "Hey Opey Taylor, I gots to goes".
He jumped in his caddy, and turned on the ignition,
Drove down the dirt road, to continue his mission.
I heard him yell out, as I opened a beer,
"Hey you honky white trash, see you mo'fo's next year".

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this holiday bedtime story

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Next Time Someone Says Their Place is a Dump, Remeber This...

Can't help but share this. As Randy Quaid would agree, this here's an RV!(Don't know if the shitter's full, but...) All I can say is this would be a hell of a way to live, seriously.

So remember, when some guy tells you his place is a dump and has a bit of a smirk when he says it, take it with a grain of salt.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and my shitter's full.

Monday, December 14, 2009

People Who watch Golf on TV...Have You Lost Your Damn Mind???

Gee, I wonder where this is going to lead off into? First and foremost, I hate golf. I also hate watching it on TV. Don't hate on me, I tried both and all either really accomplished was encouraging me to drink heavily again. Especially on TV, I got up to mow the yard, weed-eated/edged, swept the driveway, came back to the TV and I missed all of...60 minutes of watching guys walk with one guy carrying the other guy's shit. If I want to be exposed to more shit like this, I'll just go to work at Wal-Mart. Why would you people watch this butt-ass boring sport on TV, at least NASCAR has an element of watching someone crash(WRC racing rules both of their asses). Either way you look at it, golf sucks! Find something responsible to do with all that real estate that anyone can enjoy for Christ's sake.

Now, moving along, Tiger...Tiger...Tiger. What the hell were you thinking??? That's rhetorical as any man reading this knows damn well what he was thinking. Next time Tiger says he wants to get in a quick 9 holes, do you think he's really talking about golf? Think about it. But can you really blame him? The guy's major sponsor has a slogan of "Just Do It". Still, Tiger, ya done fucked up you silly bastard.

I blame the loose broads he popped the trunk on as well. I saw Jamie Jungers(unfortunately) on the Today show:

The only thing missing from that stage was a pole and loud music. That and quite possibly a pimp off-stage somewhere. That damn broad looked like she just came off of working a trick. DAMN! Clearly, Tiger likes his side action to be stupid. You could do that same interview again with just the hair in the chair and you wouldn't notice the difference.

You know, I wanted to wait to see exactly what would come out of this before saying anything about it, didn't want to jump the gun or anything, especially with Tiger being cryptic and all. I see the whole thing as 50/50 for fault, but the real victim is his wife(possibly soon to be ex) and kids.

Anyway you slice it, this couldn't have happened to a better butt-ass boring sport than golf. I have a great idea, let's take Tiger's golf course(hell, why not all of 'em while we're at it) and turn it over to a Le Corbusier type designer and have that course turned into high rise housing for low income people. This way, the poor folks get a chance to look down on the rich bastards that enjoy doing nothing more than looking down on them. BOO-YAH!

I am the Complaint Department Manager, don't mind me, just playing through.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

VISA, Have You Lost Your Damn Mind?!?!

The rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated, just being worked to death. I know I've been out of the loop for some time, but DAMN! Shit has been crazy with work and at school ever since before Halloween. I will try to get back into the swing of things around the middle of the next month...seriously.

Anyway, I got a "pre-approved" invitation to get a Black Visacard. Are you fucking kidding me??? A card that charges a $495 annual fee just for the exclusive benefit to have my ass kissed every once in a while and for the pleasure of just having it??? Does anybody have one of these damn things? I challenge you to try and sell this sham of a product to, I TRIPLE-DOG-DARE you! And we all know what happens when you triple-dog-dare some one:
Xmas story

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve of getting a food hangover on Thanksgiving. (damn, I'm tired)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

For Those Familiar With

the CDM's compassion for "Parking Lot D-Bags",

This olelongrooffan submits this.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Happy Veteran's Day

To all generations who have given so much for my Freedom.

This olelongrooffan cannot express enough gratitude.

Thank You Very Much.


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

My Dad and His Generation

are spinning in their graves.

Read this and weep.

After reading that link, it is tough to really

Celebrate Life.

Friday, October 30, 2009


This blog needs some action, so I decided to come here to complain about the fact that the links on MY BLOG are hiding. They are not on the sidebar where they should be, they are down at the bottom where nobody can see them. What's up with that? I can't fix it! Grrrr.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Speaking Of Parking Lot D*Bags

Check this douche bag out. What a total fucking jerk!!

thanks to Jonco.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Parking E30 BMW's, Continued

Here is proof you don't need a parking lot or a beach to be one of these.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Missouri State: Have You Lost Your Damn Mind?!?!

Nothing like being a year late and a million bucks short in bitching about this, but...An article in today's Springfield News LoserLeader threw out an article about how a university professor, from the economics department, called into question the accounting practices over the construction of the JQH Arena.

This is turning out to be a 3-way pissing contest between the SNL, MSU president Mike Nietzel and the econ. department at MSU(at least with those that have tenure, wink wink). The university professor in question is Reed Olsen. His claim? Here's the meat in this cluster fucked sandwich:

"There is a problem: a loss of at least $400,000 and maybe more," said Reed Olsen, professor of economics at Missouri State University. "And it's not going to be better this year."
Olsen raised his concerns in a dissenting report last month after a faculty committee report showed the arena had a surplus of more than $2 million in its first year of operation.
Jim Lampe, professor of accountancy and chair of the Budget and Priorities Committee, penned the committee report, in which he recorded $3.3 million in revenues for the arena and $1.2 million in operating expenses and debt services for the new arena.
But Olsen has found Lampe's report problematic, saying the new arena isn't paying for itself.
That is because JQH Arena incurred more expenses, including the debt service, than the old arena but doesn't make enough new money to cover them, Olsen said.
He argued Lampe improperly included pre-existing revenues from the Hammons Student Center -- which is not considered new dollars -- in the calculations.
Olsen said only the new revenue, or the amount over and beyond the $1.2 million in seat assessment fees Hammons Student Center recorded in the 2007-08 year, should be used.

But it doesn't end there. Mike Nitzel Nightzel Nightengale...ah whatever the hell his name is, put out this email to the student body covering his ass assesing the situation:

Faculty, Staff and Students:

In light of Tuesday’s article in the Springfield News-Leader about one faculty member’s claim that JQH Arena ran a deficit in Fiscal Year 2009, I wanted to provide to the campus the following facts:

1. JQH Arena had revenue over expenses and debt service of $1.1 million is Fiscal Year 2009. Because the Arena came in under budget, the University was able in Fiscal Year 2009 to use bond proceeds to pay the interest on the debt service. In future years, these bond proceeds will not be available, but we will still be in good shape because in addition to the $1.1 million in revenue, we will have additional revenue from currently unbudgeted receivables from various existing naming right commitments in the Arena.

2. Hammons Student Center had excess revenue over expenses of about $300,000 in Fiscal Year 2009

3. Hammons Student Center and JQH Arena are budgeted in the University’s auxiliary fund, not the general fund, which collectively had revenues over expenses of $3.9 million in Fiscal Year 2009

4. Most of this information is available in documents that the News-Leader had requested Monday through the Missouri Open Meetings, Open Records Law, but had not yet received. (The law provides 72 hours for responses.) Likewise, had the News-Leader reporter been willing to wait at least 24 hours for my reply to e-mail questions she sent to me Monday, much of this information would have been provided. One wonders why the front-page article was published Tuesday without waiting to receive the information that had been requested Monday.

5. In addition, most of this information is included in the Faculty Senate Committee Report on JQH Arena, which was chaired by Dr. Jim Lampe. There was only one dissenting opinion on that Committee.

Those interested in controversy are sometimes ill-suited by accurate information. Such is the case here. There are individuals within the University and community who want JQH Arena to be the scapegoat for our budget situation. It is not.

We have posted the documents that summarize the revenue and expenses for JQH Arena and Hammons Student Center for Fiscal Year 2009 at . They provide an accurate summary of these two facilities’ finances.

Mike Nietzel

Bottom line, for what it's worth, (1) Always take what you read out of the SNL with a grain of salt, (2) Always take what you hear from the university office with a grain of salt, and (3) Who really gives a shit? The damn thing was hell bent for being built.

JQH Arena is a waste of money and resources, period. It never should have been built in the first place, but the Hammons family we just HAD to have the damn thing built to show how great we are, how full of shit spirit we are and to, of course, attract the big headlining acts touring the nation like...Bebe Neuwirth!!! YEAH!!! ROCK ON MUDDA FUKKA!!!!

I am the Complaint Department Manager and JQH Arena took my parking spot!(Don't think for one second that I'll forget about that, ya punk ass bitches!)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Great News!!! Mother-in-Laws Fly Free on Southwest Airlines!!!

I couldn't believe it either when I heard about this, but here it is, plain as day. Don't say I never gave you anything interesting.

But don't thank me, thank Southwest Airlines. "DING"

I am the Complaint Department Manager and your mother flies a push broom.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

People of Minnesota(primarily those who voted for Michele Bachmann) Have You Lost Your Damn Mind?!?!

You know, it wasn't that long ago that this dingbat made a VERY inflammatory comment during the Presidential election. Roll that beautiful bean footage:

As if that wasn't enough to get the voters of Minnesota to say, "Ya know, I DO believe that bitch is CRAY-ZAY!!!", she goes on the REVO march and lays this turd:

And not to beat a dead horse to the point where I'm now going for the flies, she continues the madness with this trip to FAR right field:

To the voters in Minnesota that voted for this crazy bitch, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?!?! Do I really need to add more to this?

I am the Complaint Department Manager and at least I didn't vote for this crazy bitch. Damn!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Pre-Birthday Celebration For Complaint Department Co-Author

Longroofer will be turning 50 in just a few days. I'm making this post now, as I've got a lot of stuff on my plate and I can't pass up on the opportunity to tell everyone that Longroofer is so old that he farts dust. If Longroofer keeps running into "muffin tops" he's gonna get wrinkles...or should I say MORE wrinkles. Damn dude, you couple more wrinkles with your age and your gonna look like a side of beef jerky. Longroofer's social security number just happens to be the same number in my emergency preset on the mobile phone, 9-1-1. I Hope no one steals your Mesopotamian identity, Longroofer.

In all seriousness, he's a great guy. Everyone needs to go over to his blog "By the Numbers" and give him some shit.

I did manage to get longroofer a cake, I just don't know how I'll get it to him:

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve of this Senior bashing.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

In General, I Hate Muffin Tops

Sorry CDM Followers, I am just an old man and get pissed off rarely. I turn 50 years old a week from Tuesday and, just like many old men, have little patience for a lot of people.

So, this pleasant, Chamber of Commerce kind of Sunday afternoon, I headed down the beach to my favorite Publix grocery store to stock up on feed supplies this old man needs every month or so. You know, soy sauce, black pepper, chips and, really, whatever else they have on sale.

The cool, at least I think anyway, thing about where I live is that the Taj Mahal is less than two blocks from an automobile friendly beach and I can drive from my condo to my grocery store on the beach.

Yeah, I really get a kick out of that.

So I arrive at my local shopping center that I enjoy hanging at and enter my grocery store.

As this is a fairly large, stock up, kind of visit, I grab on of those rarely used shopping carts and head on off.

Now, I am a single guy and, like most men, I don't shop, I buy. So, I know where I am going.

As I head down the produce aisle I spot the following.....

A mid 20's year old pony tailed, tank top, tattoo bearing redneck pushing a child carrying cart, you know, the ones with benches in them for young kids to ride in. Well this one was equipped with a mid 20's year old girl holding a toddler on her lap.

Additionally, another mid 20's girl with a HUGE tramp stamp was free loading a ride in that kid carrying area and that tattooed dude was struggling to provide acceleration to that buggy.

Further adding to my frustration, there was another, and part of that crowd, muffin top pushing a cart of her own alongside that oversized grocery cart.

So what did this olelongrooffan do?

I stopped, turned around, and started my, usually pleasant, Publix shopping experience on the other side of that Florida based retailer.

As it was, I was able to complete my excursion without running into them again.

Until I realized I had forgotten tortillas for my morning eggs and sausage breakfast wraps.

So, I head over to the "Ethnic" aisle and as I turn the corner, I see these two cart bearing tattooed rednecks moving down this aisle and basically blocking my passage of them in the aisle in front of me.

Oh, by the way, if you are on a four lane road and are going the same speed as the car to your right, You Are In The Wrong Lane.

But I digress.

Slowly, one of those carts moves in front of the other one and I slip between them to get my much desired tortillas.

As I slide between them, one of the tramp stamped muffin tops says, loud enough so this olelongrooffan can hear, "I can't believe how rude people are down here."

Now I have to say, I believe, these days, I am a polite ole man.

I always point out burned out brake lights.

I let people out in traffic.

I carry my 87 year old neighbor's recycle bin out to the curb every Thursday.

I never park in his parking spot.

and cold pops are always in my frig for thejeepjunkie and TheGoodAttorney for their happy hour visits.

But this fat little bitch just pissed me off.

I had left my buggy behind them to slide through, get those tortillas and return to it to reverse direction and get out of their world.

So, as I was returning and fuming at her thinking I was rude, I mentioned in passing that she was the one blocking the aisle.

As she started to smart off some inane response, I turned to her and said....

"Hey muffintop, your grandchildren will love that tramp stamp across your ass."

and I turned around and left.

Now while this is not the most mature method I could have handled this situation,

It sure felt good and I am still able to

Celebrate Life.

also posted at By The Numbers, although with some editing.

Thanks CDM.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Ernie Anastos: Have You Lost Your Damn Mind?

I must say up front that I'm a bit torn on this one, as I laughed myself silly after actually watching this. He actually says, "Keep fucking that chicken" ON LIVE TELEVISION.

But, Ernie, have you lost your DAMN MIND? You know damn well well you can't go around carnally violating fowls on the air, no matter how much you think it's called for. It's still undetermined whether or not Ernie still has a job or nor. I'm sure Fox 5 got a HUGE lift on ratings and attention after this, both positive and negative. And the look on the absolutely stunning Dari Alexander is PRICELESS. Check it:

She looks as if she got pinched on the ass while on the air. Sorry, but that's just DAMN funny there.

I could only imagine if say...a local weatherman, that lives not too far from me, if he said something like this on air................Yeah, I'd probably laugh myself twice as hard as this one. But still, should he loose his job over this? Before you answer that, it should be known that he's done something like this before. He says that they were all accidents, but you know...

Ah, to hell with this. Ernie, you may have lost your damn mind, but you just gave me a new catch phrase. So, by all means Ernie, keep fucking that blooper chicken.

I am the Complaint Department manager and I approve this chicken fucking.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Missouri Republican Assembly, Have You lost Your Damn Mind?!?!

The Missouri Republican Assembly is bringing the douchebag-of-the-month to MY backyard. Yes, Joke Wilson, "alleged" immigration attorney. I thought surely I heard wrong this morning, but nay. It's bad enough that the county I live in went 70% for Mad Jack, but I guess the area of Missouri, that is SO close to Harrison, Arkansas(KNOWN hate group headquartered there), just had to embarrass themselves further...or just show their true "color".

Tickets to this event will be made available to the public...but ticket prices haven't been posted yet. Ticket prices??? Can you say, "fund raiser". The Republican Party has lost their DAMN mind! Their Leader of infinite wisdom William Scott Magill Said and I quote KY3's political notebook:

"He sort of just fell into our lap." When asked how Magill helped book Wilson's visit, he declined to go into details. "It's a hot topic. He probably has got something to say. It's timely," Magill added.

Maybe they should have invited Kanye instead.

You know, there are actually some decent Republicans in this area. I feel so bad for them at this moment. Keep in mind that the Republican "Party" and the "Assembly" are different. A bit of a strecth, but different.

If anyone can get me the number to the Missouri Republican Assembly and NOT the actual Republican Party, I will post it.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this message...and phone calls to the "Assembly".

Monday, September 14, 2009

Outbursts...Has Everyone Lost Their Damn Minds?

Has everybody lost their damn minds??? I mean really? From a douchebag Rep from South Carolina, Serena trying to channel a McEnroe meltdown, to redneck white trash chanting "glenn beck" while praising Joke Wilson in D.C. to a no class dumbass from hip-hop and all showing a lack of class and dignity. This is their moment to recognize.

First, of course, Joke Wilson in South Carolina I'm sure got a big "thank you" from Gov. Sanford as now there's a new King Douchebag in South Carolina. I hear there may be talks of censure, bad idea. All that's really like is getting your name wrote down on the chalkboard, maybe even cirlced and/or a check mark or 2, 'member that shit? If you ask me, since he's from the south, he should have a typical southern response. He should get his ass whooped. Wait 'til he gets better, then do it again for good measure and as a reminder. Joke Wilson, recognize.

Serena, Serena, Serena. Damn girl, have you lost your mind? She's NEVER done anything like this before, so what gives? Her and her sister have invigorated the ever boring sport of tennis and were actually trying to turn it into a bit of a fast paced and intense event. The new trend of turning it into a smackdown, however, not good. Serena, you know better. Serena, recognize.

Ah, I see the Tea party village idiots are next, like this will be difficult to address. Just watch the video as village idiots from around the country came out in droves to champion their man glenn beck(he doesn't deserve proper capitalization). They also managed to show a lot of love for Joke Wilson, watch the video and see for yourself. I don't EVEN have enough time to address the other things these people COULD have protested before all of this, but Paul Begala hints at a good chunk. Tea baggers, recognize(ya dumb ignorant bastards).

Finally, there's Kanye-douchebag-de-jour West.I never liked this fuckhead to begin with and at least I can see that my suspicions were correct. You should all know by now that he's the dipshit that grabbed the Mike out of Taylor Swift's(not much of a fan of her music, just sayin')hand and went on a childish rant about how Beyonce' had a better video...WOW, was that ever stupid. If this were any other person from the audience, he would have been took down hard, dragged from the event and then arrested outside where the NYCPD would have taken him down hard AGAIN and had his punk ass thrown in the hole downtown. Beyonce' at least had the decency to give Taylor her time to shine at her expense, thus making 2 victims at the awards show. By the way, why do they still call that god forsaken channel, MTV? Kanye, your bitch ass needs to recognize.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this moment to recognize.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

And You thought This Could Only Happen In Arkansas

That's some Jerry Springer shit ain't it? I really don't know what else to contribute here.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I am still speechless.

Just Let It Sink In For A Bit...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

It's H1N1 NOT Swine Flu!

Look at all the innocent victims in this mess. Damn, people.

I'm the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this sanitized message.

The Next Glenn Beck

Sometimes, things are just too funny to ignore and pass up.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I SO approve this message.

Monday, September 7, 2009


Nice RV/bus, idiot...
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Best and Worst Pizza??? Who Cares???

Honestly, the guys at Men's Health Magazine must be bored or out of shit to print to come up with this "news worthy" article. Let's face it folks, if you simply MUST have a calorie count on the pizza you may want to consume, then you shouldn't consume it in the first place. What's next guys, best and worst cigarettes? Doughnuts? For me, I LOVE the pizza and I only eat it every once in a while like a responsible adult and not every other day(or every day for some dipshits) that would most certainly turn me into the typical the South.

So, when it's time to go off the wagon, I go face first and into something like this:

Or, if I feel like I want to set a new "cram myself full 'til I want to puke like a typical Southerner", I go for something like...a threesome!!!

I am the Complaint Department Manager and GOD, do I miss Chicago.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Thanks Uncle Ted!

Speaks for itself.

I'm Sick Of Hearing About How We Are About to Become Socialists or Nazis...Whatever

I'll try to make this short and sweet. Evidently, I'm not alone in the sharing the disappointment in the intelligence of the community at large. For those who are SO afraid that we will be socialist because of the health care scare going around, please take time to READ THE FUCKING PLAN BEFORE PASSING JUDGEMENT!!! If you want to explain your drivel of nonsense how we are all going to become Nazis due to this president, then surely you can summarize(not in your own words, an actual summary) what the first, say...5 paragraphs of the plan state. If you can't, your an idiot and deserve to get swine flu(which will also turn you into a Nazi as it is SO different from the ordinary flu). If you start a fight in a town hall over this issue and it was due to your "speculations", then you should also have your assets seized and the proceeds used to bail out Arnie's California. There, how's that for reaching across the isle.

P.S. If you are one of those people who are scared of becoming a socialist and currently have MEDICARE, I have 2 things of bad news for you. One, you are already a socialist, deal. Two, you're an idiot(see Dave above) for not knowing that.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don't approve of you Nazi idiots.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday, August 14, 2009

Just Another Reason To Hate the Philidelphia Eagles...

Just in case some of you don't know by now, Michael Vick was given a 1 year deal with an optional second to play with the Eagles. I never was one for the Eagles and now this puts my respect for them beneath even the New Jersey Jets.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I hope this dog never gets his day.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Ya Know What Pisses Me Off?

So, you are an oleunemployedconstructionworker trying to make ends meet and keep my 14 year old daughter in her unlimited Metro PCS cell phone and the latest fashions.

As a result, you will take pretty much any Manuel Labor job just to make ends meet.

Spent most of the day building a wall inside the kitchen of an "A" frame home down towards the lighthouse located city the publisher of this blog likes so much.

Well, after a couple trips to the big box retailer of home improvement supplies, I finally finished up this project.

As the olestationbus is getting a chemical high during its repaint this week, I was driving my black oleragtop, yeah I know, Florida, August, black cars, convertibles, yeah, I have heard it all but anyway, the goodrealtor strokes that check and I head over to the bank to deposit it, no, not this bank, but the one servicing all of America, to deposit this four party, Kuwaiti based check.

So I am queued up in that line of automobiles, trying to put that drive in bank teller into the same position as this oleunemployedconstructionworker, waiting on the moron in front of me to complete her transaction.

How do I know she is a moron?

I am sitting behind her, in an open black, open roofed automobile, sweating my ass off, and she can't pull twenty feet forward to put her money away and get herself gathered up to head out to A1A.

No, she spends, and I timed it on my trusty cell phone, 2:42 minutes getting her shit together while I am sweating my ass off, trying to deposit my measly earnings for the day.

Thanks Bitch!!

And thanks to the Complaint Department Manager for allowing me to have the outlet to finally, complain about something.

But just know, I still possess the ability to

Celebrate Life.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Tiger Woods wins the Buick Open

Must have been the burritos he had for lunch.

Turn up your volume.

Friday, July 31, 2009

The Producers Of the Today Show Are Idiots!!!

I am beside myself with outrage at the current moment, eventually it will subside. This little bastard took the family car for a joy ride. The punishment??? He got his video games taken away and he had to go to church(I had no idea that church was a form of punishment, do they do this at Gitmo?). Yes, he was punished by having something taken away, but he was further punished by going to New York, with his family, and a paid for one at that including hotel and meals(the typical guest treatment). Sounds more like he took the family car for a drive and the family got a mini vacation out of the deal, PLUS he got on national TV...FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!

I'm sure this will discourage other little shits like this one from doing something deviant with the family car. To the producers of the Today Show, you...are fucking...IDIOTS!!! Do you pricks EVER think ahead???

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I am still pissed about this message.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

It Appears I'm Not the Only One That Hates Facebook

Bill Gates joins the ranks of social outcasts such as myself that are giving up on Facebook due the the whole "friend" thing. When I started Facebook, I already had a lot on my plate including this blog. There were times that I kept it updated for a few days on end, then there were times I deserted it like this blog(and my lack of blog reading) for weeks on end. Funny thing is that I didn't go around and "friend" a whole lot of people. I think that it was the addition of Facebook that helped nurse along my lack of wanting to post on this blog.

I am SO sick of the obligation factor associated with Facebook. Piss on it already.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and you don't have to "friend" me.


I don't know why I haven't posted on this until now, but it finally hit me yesterday at Cheddar's in Springfield. The parking lot was jammed packed, so overflow was going into the lot next to Cheddar's by Golden Corral. I saw these douchebags parking alongside the sidewalk close to the door because they were too fucking lazy to walk an extra 100 feet. There is a reason why parking spots are labeled and marked out, but it appears that the parking douchebags of Springfield find it necessary to impose their selfish will on us all. I've seen this happen here at Cheddar's and at other places like the Supermarket where they park at the front of the row alongside a painted line, as if that is supposed to dignify a proper parking spot. The same goes for when they park up at the front door then turn on their hazard lights. I don't care if they are going in for just a few moments, find an actual spot and park there. There's a reason why this part of the world has the most obese people and probably the most selfish and self righteous folks on the map. It's a sense of entitlement and selfishness that seems to be growing. Southern hospitality seems to be falling to the waist side along with sensibility as well. Remember that post of people not waving when you let them in I made some time ago?

If you happen to be one of these lazy pricks, PISS OFF!!!

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this message.

Monday, July 20, 2009


Security guards that enjoy their role a little too much. There's no reason to be a jerk.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

How A Wiener Can Be A Homewrecker

Do you really need me to go any further with this? Feel free to do your wurst.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

At Least Stevie Wonder Was Tasteful

Click here to see what Stevie Wonder had to say at Michael Jackson's subdued service.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Hitler and Michael Jackson

Well, it had to happen sometime.

Definitely NSFW.

thanks Jonco

Monday, June 29, 2009


When people don't flush their poop down the toilet, especially in public restrooms. That is just nasty if you ask me.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

...And Billy Mays Makes 4.

I'm saddened by the loss of Oxyclean commercials in the near future. I get so tired of hearing the "they die in 3's" thing about celebrity deaths. I counter with the argument that they die in ones, anyone care to challenge this theory? I seriously doubt that there is a mystical force at work with the "3's" theory. If so, who really makes that call? I can see and hear the Grim Reaper now saying to himself, "Okay, Farrah had her time, but she was being a bit of a diva at the end. How do I rain on her parade?...I know, I've had my scythe on Jacko for a while, that'll do the trick, I don't think I could live through another farewell tour from anyone else this year."

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this message of death.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Some People Just Shouldn't Own a Stinger Missile

Today was the day I sent the Stinger Missile to get the front bumper repaired. The job is supposed to take 2 days. With that in mind, I still had things to do, so I asked for a rental car and got one. Unfortunately, this being Missouri, this is what they had in mind for a "rental car":

I especially love the fact that they made me look over the "damage waiver" just in case I don't bring this thing back in pristine shape. I informed them of a few scratches I found...including these in the back:

Honestly, did they really expect a rental truck to come back without a scratch around these parts? I also love how they "clean the car up" before presenting it to the next customer. I've seen my 9 year-old niece and 6 year-old nephew do a better job of cleaning their rooms and would probably do a better job of cleaning this car for me. Anyway, this wasn't going to fly with me, so I had them find a smaller car for me, preferably one that got better miles per gallon than gallons per mile like this hog. I ended up eventually trading out with a Nissan Sentra. Who said bitching never gets you anywhere? I spent most my day in Joplin getting some Pibb Zero as I was running low...not anymore:

I figured 24 12-packs would do nicely for a while.

Anyway, now for the real reason for this post. I saw this Yellow '02 WRX in a car lot in Joplin off of 7th st. What looked great from a distance, turned sour up close. As you can see, it's fairly decent at first and even decently priced:

My smile didn't last long as I got a better look at the car and saw very noticeable damage all over it. It was keyed, nicked, scratched and dented including this nasty dent found on the driver's side:

I saw lots of patchwork and man it made me a bit sad. I also saw it had 143,000 miles on it. Sure it will pick up some dings along the way, but not in the nature of what I witnessed. Damn shame.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don't approve of such abuse.

I Dreamed About Obama

I had a dream that I got the chance to be in the same room as Obama. In my dream, I was eating at a long dinner table that was lined neatly with expensive linens. I was afraid to pick up the fork because it only had two prongs on it. (???) Suddenly enters Obama. I wanted so very bad to get closer and take pictures, but some lady (who looked like the Queen Elizabeth) "clothes-lined" me and I fell backwards. For the duration of the dream, I desperately tried to get a close-up picture, but was thwarted in every attempt. At one point in the dream, David Robinson (former Spurs player) walked in with his wife, Valerie. They were chatting up a storm with him.
I remember Valerie well from the days I used to work for the Spurs. I spent many years having "cool" conversations with her about her kiddos. However, in my dream, she acted like she didn't know who I was. ::::sigh::::: (story of my life!)

This morning when I woke up, Obama was CNN. For a split second, I thought to myself, "Hey, I've met you." (yeah, I wish!!)

Anyone care to interpret???