My God, I'm Fat!!!

That was my initial reaction after I weighed myself yesterday morning. I'm not sure if the scale was already broke or if I broke it. Only thing left to weigh me on is the Richter scale. Blowing this out of proportion...possibly. Have I got a problem...definitely! It was only a little over a year ago that I weighed a trim 180 and in the best shape of my life. I look to find that I hit 212! This really sunk in when I tried wearing a suit I hadn't worn in a while and I damn near couldn't fit the pants, how embarrassing. I've decided not to mope about it and do something. This is not a New Year's resolution, just a goal. If I made it a resolution it would be doomed for failure. I start working out today and having spent my time yesterday compiling an ultimate motivating workout play list, I have the following:


Ultimate Workout List

1. “She Sells Sanctuary” – The Cult (great starter)
2. “Lay it Down” – Ratt
3. “Mr. Scary” - Dokken
4. “Cowboys From Hell “– Pantera
5. “Walk In the Shadows” - Queensryche
6. “Stone Cold Crazy” – Metallica
7. “Shout It Out” or “Do You Like It” – Kingdom Come
8. “Tear It Down” – Def Leppard
9. “The Real Me” – W.A.S.P. (Who cover)
10. “Get the Funk Out” – Extreme
11. “Surfing With the Alien” or “Summer Song” – Joe Satriani

I chose these because they had no lull periods, riffs I'm fond of and a great variety of artists. Don't knock the list 'til you've tried it.

Now for those who want to sit on their arse and not do anything, I have compiled a list of redneck/white trash bands from the 80's that didn't take off, enjoy!

1. “Somebody Shave Me” – Cinderfella
2. “Grease Sells, Who’s Fryin’ “- Megameth
3. “Janie’s Got a Gun…Again” – Aeroshirt
4. “Time For Me to Fry” – REO Powerwagon
5. “Holdin’ Back the Beers” – Simply Redneck
6. “Skoal’s Gone” – Pall & gOates
7. “Free-Ballin’ ” – Richard Petty & The Fartbreakers
8. “Pour Some 40 Weight On Me” – Def Heffer
9. “Drink Police” – Cheap Truck
10. “I’m All Out Of Bud” – Beer Supply

I Said What About (Insert Name of Establishment Here)?

One thing I hate is when people mis quote me or reorganize a thought I shared at any given time. For instance, this year I got giftcards to places I like. But, I did manage to get a "what the hell" moment while being told how they chose those particular giftcards. I was told that I happened to mention (probably 2 years ago and only once) that I liked a particular restaurant and made quite a fuss about it...huh?? Why is it that I talk non stop about certain stores or restaurants and yet they filter out of that one particular positive comment of an establishment that didn't mean much and from so long ago? How does this happen?

Perhaps next year, I'll talk with Santa once(and only once) about the Bunny Ranch in Vegas and maybe I'll get a Ho to go with the HO HO HO.

Merry Christmas...Shitter's Full!

This will be on my TV by later in the afternoon as custom every year. Enjoy your day!

Random Photo Opp.

This is one of my 2 dogs that I have, both Dachshunds. This just cracked me up something fierce when I was able to get this picture. She's had a lot of great photo moments, but every time I try to get my phone or camera to take a picture, she's catches on and ruins the pose. This was indeed a rare moment, the dog has super powers of hearing, I'm convinced.

Kinda looks like radar, ay?

Added Christmas Joy ala the Boondocks Part II

This is what happens after the letter. I still think it's hilarious a year later.

Added Christmas Joy ala the Boondocks

I mentioned the Boondocks, so for those who are easily offended, don't play this. Please keep in mind that I am an equal opportunity offender.

Christian County Tax Collector: Ted Nichols

Okay, I don't know about how people outside of Christian County deal with their property tax statements (for the home), but here our tax collector mails them to us and not our mortgage lender. I've lived in a lot of places around the country and for me, this was a first. I can't understand why I get the statement, it would cost the same to mail it to my bank and not me. I don't know if it is because of a lack of effort or lack of knowledge. Does anybody else have a problem with this?

The Scrooge Report

Some one I know told me that she was asked to come in to work at Walmart around midnight on Christmas Day. They did this to her last year and they tried to do it again this year. When she said no, they decided to call her in on her day off a few days after Christmas. She is normally off on Wednesdays and Thursdays so they shorted her a day that week, afterall, they didn't want her to miss out on "holiday pay." Does anybody want to take this time to report a Scrooge?

Mission Impossible: Phase 3 Random Acts of Kindness

Things are actually starting to look up for me. Today, I find myself at Bestbuy getting some things and had some discount coupons I printed off. I had a few extra so,while checking out I got a great idea and started handing them off to people at random while finishing up. I got a few mixed reactions, mostly the "confused" look and a few genuine thanks from others. This got me to thinking about doing this as a future behavior change for me. I'm going to start handing out any extras I can print or cut out for people, it really made me feel good knowing I was able to save people some money.

Uh Yeah...About Those Inches...

This is not a complaint, think of it as more of a friendly jab to a certain *eh hem* weather man that supported the huge snowfall expectation for today. Funny, ain't it just like a man to promise around 8 inches and not deliver?

Is It Just Me Or...

I know these things have been out for a while, but it just finally sunk in. So, is it me or do these things look a bit...mmmmm, not right? I actually had to get one of these for my niece for Christmas and when I put this damn thing in my cart, I instantly felt like Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC was going to pop out and start asking me a bunch of awkward questions. I know this is what she wants, but damn!
Far be it for me to say this, but if these things were twice their normal size, they'd be in an adult bookstore (the one pictured is 2ft tall). I actually read on the box that it was for ages 4 and up. What the deuce, man! This is soft porn for pedophiles. I can't be alone in thinking this, can I?

Mission Impossible: Phase 2

Here's another way for me to get from the pissing and moaning I've associated with the holidays. As a kid, I always enjoyed "The Year Without a Santa Claus". To keep me nudged in the right direction, I'll watch these 2:

And who can for get about this one too:

This always seemed to work for me as a kid, I hope it still does now. I'll make it a point to watch these every day along with the others phases I have planned.

Mission Impossible: Getting in to the Christmas Spirit

Before I became a born-again college student, I worked retail for over 10 years. In that time, I grew to dread and despise the holiday seasons(Thanksgiving-New Years) with a passion. I came to associate the seasons with stress and it is a hard thing to shake. The only thing that gets me now is finals and that's not as bad as it used to be. So, I have put a mission in front of me to enjoy the holiday seasons and make the most of it as I possibly can. I'm going to try different things to try and achieve this and I hope everyone will enjoy or join in with me.

I'll start by slowly weening myself from the nasty attitude I have toward the holiday season with a scene from my favorite Christmas film "Scrooge". I can't help it, this song makes me smile.">

Manning Up...Or So They Wish.

Oh, how I can't stand the Manning brothers. Let me count the ways, one, two...FUMBLE!!! Seriously, even when they win they're annoying and equally boring to watch. I am so sick of the Manning's and the whining...my 5 year old nephew whines less they they do. I still can't believe that Peyton didn't choke on the way to the Lombardi trophy. Also, a 50 year old condom will give you more protection than the Giant's offensive line (I'd like to use a smaller font when stating "offensive line" just to show how impotent they are).
Ya know, if Cher was a man, she'd be Peyton Manning. He even sounds like a male Cher. Why all the Manning hate fest? Three reasons: (1)Because I can, (2) Because it's damn funny and (3) Because I'm not alone! (End Rant)

An Ethical Question

Finally I get a chance to catch up on the blog. Between having 3 tests and 3 papers to write, well it's been hellatious. Anyway, I was curious as to how some of you might think if posed this question. Do you think it's wrong to be AGAINST abortion rights yet FOR capital punishment? I had an interesting conversation with a class acquaintance over this issue and he had no problem of being AGAINST abortion rights and FOR capital punishment. I see it as a bit, well...fuctup. Yes, I believe that's the scientific term used. I myself feel that taking a stand like that could be compared to being kinda pregnant. Either you are or aren't, pick a side and stay on it. I can't help being irritated at the lack of commitment. Anybody wanna take a crack at this?

Worst Black Friday Ever!!!

Okay, I called it. I always enjoy thumbing through the ads every year for this event and I must say, this year sucked!!! I found only one thing that was really a "killer deal" and I flipped on the news this morning to find out (via live reporting) that the damn thing sold out in minutes. Mind you that I would never fight the crowds for one item, that's just crazy talk. If I had to pick a winner for the best deals, I'd have to pick Home Depot.

I also took note that retailers are opening their doors even earlier than last year. What's next, doors open at 12:01? The earlier hours indicates to me that they also believe that this was going to be a crappy Black Friday and are trying to comp for it. For proving my point, I submit the following evidence: China, oil prices and extremely low consumer confidence that has been going on all year long. It's sad really, the only thing I have to look forward to today is finishing an Economics report and watching football. Retailers, this year, you were really, really bad.

As it stands, the above picture is also what I think about Black Friday this year.

Something for Everyone to Sing to Themselves During Thanksgiving

When the conversation starts to tank this Thanksgiving, you can play this song in your head and it will make you smile. This was the first thing that came to my mind when a conversation started about how family conversation taking a wrong turn at the gathering.

Another Parking Lot 'Tard

While I was finally finishing up my endless list of errands, I happen across this 'tard. The only thing that would make it funnier is if I knew for certain that the driver was blond and had big boobs(hooray for stereotypes!). It never ceases to amaze me how desperate, lazy and stupid people are.

Now that I'm thinking of it, there hasn't been a time when I have gone to Cheddar's and seen similar acts of 'tardation. You know what I'm talking about, the guy with the dually truck that parks at an angle or just parks down the middle of two spaces because he/she doesn't have the parking graces to get it in the single slot (Que Beavis and Butthead) uh-huh-huh, I said "slot".

Bad Roll Playing

Yes, nauseating pun, I know. Here's my problem, has anyone ever got these rolls to go? This Thanksgiving, Lambert's will have their Black Friday 2 days earlier. Every year I see the price of a dozen rolls at this place go higher and higher. It wasn't even a few years ago they were charging less than $3 a dozen. Would you like to know how much they are charging this year? I called them today out of curiosity to see how much they increased over last year, try $4.99. No joke, 5 bucks for a dozen rolls!?!?! And no doubt, lazy and well off households will be lined up to buy them. I would love for at least one year the residents of this area to give them a big "Piss off!" and not buy any.

Hey Lambert's, your rolls are good, I'm not ever going to knock that, but your price is bullshit! I know you're in buisness to make money, but DAMN!

Finally!!! I'm Back Up and Running.

Earlier this week I got hit with a worm virus. The only thing for me to do was top wipe my laptop clean and start over. I lost a lot of files, but such is life. I bear half of the responsibility for not keeping up-to-date antivirus. However, I will offer this to the creator of the worm virus: "May a thousand fleas of a camel infest your pubic hair!"

Kansas: Congratulations ...Now Put Your Coach on a Diet!

I first want to say that Kansas is doing a phenomenal job, but DAMN! Your coach has more chins than a Chinese phonebook and he's a breath away from...a breath. There's overweight...and then there's overweight. I'm sure the KU fans want to see you coach for a few more years, at least let them believe you can get there. When the catch phrase around campus is "Our Coach Can Eat Your Coach" it's time to do something, Mark. C'mon, your on camera and you can't use the excuse that it adds 'X' amount of pounds.

I WON THE UK LOTTERY!!!!!

NOT! I am getting so sick of getting these stupid emails on an hourly basis, that I might stage a cou in Nigeria just to get this shit to stop. It shouldn't take much, I'll just distract them with a food drop then have my small army of PMSing women take over there capitol building, should take about an hour/hour and a half. This all depends on how many women I can scrounge up and how much chocolate I can get my hands on.
The way I figure it, I have won enough lotteries to pay of the national debt 2 times over. It seems that the more I report it as spam, the more I get, hmmmm...Has anyone else been getting pelted with this crap in mass, lately?

By the way, I'm feeling bloated and unattractive today...no, really.

Screw Fall Fashion, I'm Already Worried About Spring

I already had an eyeful of this during Spring and Summer. I don't want to see it this year coming up. I'm not a big ladies' fashion expert, but I am a man and as a man...you look pregnant! If you are single/married and don't want guys hitting on you, I don't see any other reason to buy these "boob drapes." It doesn't make you look cute, it makes you look knocked up. A chauvinist comment, I know, but at least I'm being honest. Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks like this.

This reminds me of the time I had a friend who was pregnant and was bonding with another pregnant woman she met in line at checkout. She was being cute when describing how she got pregnant by saying, " I don't know how it happened, I guess it's just something in the air." My response, without missing a beat, "Yeah, your ankles."

"Don’t Tase me, bro" part Duex

Once again this idiot is getting more attention thanks to the Today Show(...and me too, damn it). He and his parents , during the interview this morning had the audacity to say that he wasn't a trouble maker...WHAT?!?!? This jagoff is known for his "attention getting" stunts as I mentioned in an earlier post. I said it once and I'll say it again, he deserved it. Quite honestly, I'd like to see him get it again because I don't believe he is sorry for the incident. I DO believe he is sorry that it led to him getting the taser, but not sorry for his actions. In the words (album title) of the once cool Metallica, "Ride the Lightning", BEYOTCH!!!

Finally!!! A Real Woman!!!

...and the best part is, you don't have to date for 6 months before being able to give a response.

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My New Favorite Commercial

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This reminds me of the time hackers got into my Ebay account.
EDIT: I am not in any way promoting the company that produced this.

For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge

I had heard about this story only in passing and got little info about it until now. Evidently a band performing on campus at Missouri State was told not to use the dreaded "F-word" while performing, they used it anyway and the performance was halted, which resulted in students protesting outside of a University Bored(spelled incorrectly on purpose) of Governors' meeting. J.T. Eberhard was the organizer of the protest and states: "Our point is that they can't start censoring everything that may be offensive to somebody." I agree and more on how much I agree a little later. The MSU President Mike Nietzel responds to the protest by saying that he had hoped that students would "exercise (their right to protest) on issues more significant than using a dirty word." I'll bet you would Nietzel and by the way, Fuck you! There's a little bit more to the story in the link provided, but you get the gist of it.

Here's my take: To me, there are just as many words I find offensive and are used sometimes on a daily basis. Words and combined words like: Tuition hikes, higher taxes, "stay the course", Patriot Act, Dubai, wiretaps, Darfur, etc... and yes, these words are offensive to me due to how they effect me financially or even aesthetically. Take this time to ask yourselves, what (to you) is offensive language? Also, compare those words to others words like what I have stated and ask which has more of an offensive background? I can tell you, there are more words to be offended by than silly curse words.

It's a Pink Nightmare!

When I first saw this, I don't know what came first, the laughter or the seizure I had. This is what happens when you cross Larry the Cable Guy with Paris Hilton and Xzibit. This also reminds me of all those trucks I see around town with the camo paint jobs, how retarded is that?

I saw one today in Branson West and by the time I thought about nabbing a picture of that shrub on wheels, I was far enough away to not give a crap anymore. What possesses people to do this kind of crap?

What I Did on My Summer Vacation.

Yeah, I know, summer? I didn't get a summer vacation this year due to me going to summer school. So, this past weekend I went to Kansas City and went to Worlds of Fun Amusement park during their Halloween session. I did have a great time at the park, but I unfortunately stayed at their "village". So without any further or do, here come the complaints:

1. The reservation got messed up from the get go by the call center and charged my brother-in-law the price of his cottage as well as mine. We wanted to stay an additional day before even getting there so the call center rep made 4 reservations?!?! We got package deals, so he got slapped with 4 of them because the rep was to lazy or stupid to do the reservation right.

2. Check-in was a NIGHTMARE! It took us more than 30 minutes to get checked in. I lost track of how long it actually took and started giving up on hopes of even getting in the damn place. Allegedly, they fixed the problem and me and my brother-in-law got our cottages side by side and we moved in.

3. The beds they use in those cottages are HORRIBLE!!! After leaving there, I now need a vacation from this vacation. I don't believe that I'll be staying there next year as I liked the Halloween goings on at the park, just didn't like what happened to us at the village.

4.After it was all said and done, when we got to check-out, they STILL hadn't fixed the problem. They overcharged my brother-in-law and undercharged me. We had to go and eat lunch somewhere while they sorted out the mess and it actually took them that long to straighten it out. Mind you, the people that checked us out knew what they were doing, but everyone previous to this didn't have a clue.

I plan on notifying some higher up the chain about this ordeal and I'll even tell them about this post and see how concerned they are. I did have some high points this past weekend, I went to Harrah's and came out a few hundred ahead. By the way, their buffet is awesome! The park itself was enjoyable and worth the price of admission, the village however was an absolute disaster.

This Song is Stuck In My Head, Now It's Your Turn!

I don't even know how it happened, I can't shake it. It's crowded enough up there with all the rest of the voices.

Weather or Not.

How about not if it means having jacked up sinuses. What is the deal momma nature? I've been getting huge headaches lately with this rollercoaster weather. I mean some real scull crackers, the kind that feel as though your brain is being forced through your forehead if you lean over just a little. Anyway, I seriously hope the weather stops this insane ride 'cause I don't like it. What's next, six inches of snow tomorrow followed by a warm front giving us 90+ temps?

...and They're College Students.

I'm not one for being anal on parking, but this is just stupid. I don't know what the excuse would be for this, but I'm sure it's as dumb as the parking job. These 2 jerkweeds seriously need parallel parking instruction. Evidently, I wasn't the only one who thought this was dumb either. After I took the picture, some people walked by and just shook their heads. I sure hope they aren't on scholarships.

Ann Coulter Donny Deutsch Jews Perfected The Big Idea

Ann Coulter Donny Deutsch Jews Perfected The Big Idea

Again, I'm not going political...I'm just saying that the more attention this "person" gets, the more it reminds me of my first and only homosexual thought which was saying that I once said she was attractive....I will now go hang my head in shame. The rest of you can have at this, do your worst.

So what does this mean?

Lately, I've been getting offers to join the AARP, life insurance for seniors and some other senior citizens group. What the hell??? I'm thirty-frickin'-six not sixty-three!!! I don't feel old, in fact, I feel the same as I did ten years ago. Hell, I still watch cartoons...of course, they're not the real kiddy type (Boondocks is my favorite). But the point is my physical and chronological clock are running like a stop watch, not a grandfather clock. When I tell people how old I am, they are usually surprised and that makes me feel great. I bought wine and beer a few months back (not a big drinker here) and didn't get carded and that made me feel not so great. I'm not that concerned at this point, but enough to be annoyed. I'll get more concerned when I wake up some morning and the first thing I do is fart dust.

Update: I just got a senior citizen discount on a hearing aid...must...remain...calm...
Update #2: The Senior Resource Center says that I have substantial death benefits...I can think of only one right now, and that is I would not get offers for senior citizens in the mail anymore! I hope when these people die, they smoke a terd in hell for giving me this kind of grief. I'm done updating.

Can Someone Tell Me Why Chinese Buffets In Springfield Suck?

Seriously, tonight I had to make my own General Tso's Chicken. I've been to almost all of the Chinese buffet joints here and I left feeling like maybe they owed ME money. Springfield is a huge restaurant town and a test market for chains, so why the lack of quality? Every time I try a new joint that opens, I want to see it closed. I feel like the next time I get a fortune cookie it will say, "Sorry Charles, got screwed again...Your lucky numbers are 666 and 13." Springfield needs help and I'm running out of hope.

I'm Going To Try Something New...

On Thursday nights, a lot of comedy clubs have open mic. I'm going to do that here. Call it a suggestion box as well. If there's anything that anyone wants to complain about, this is the place for it. Anything goes, tell me what you don't like about me if you want, the mic is now open. (Ring the bell)

Something Besides A Complaint

I've had this for a while and after watching it again, thought I'd share it. It's been a few weeks since the passing of Colin McRae, this is the sport that WAS Colin McRae. Linkin Park's "In the End" is the music that really makes this video great, even though I'm not a big Linkin Park fan. Enjoy!

How Much Would You Pay To Be an Idiot?

How many times have you bought something, only to have it go on sale within a week? Apparently, Apple violated "price discrimination laws" when they chopped the price of the IPhone $200 inside 2 months of the debut. Part of the reason is that Apple wanted to stop making the 4GB model and start making the 8GB model. The way I see it, if you wanted it so badly that you were willing to stand in line for hours/days or whatever, you're buying the privilege to be the first to own one. Were these people happy when they walked out the door with there new piece of crap, er...phone? Yes, there's proof everywhere when the news showed these geeks, literally geeking out and waiving it in front of the cameras and to other people who didn't have one. You bought the right to do that jerk-offs, enjoy! The big difference between you and a smart phone is that it may have Intel inside, you don't. I couldn't give 2 craps what it really has. What surprises me is that Apple caved in and gave a credit to these dorks, all who pissed and moaned got $100 credit for their efforts. One other question, $1 million damage? Did I miss something? Lets see, $200...$1,000,000 seems close enough, what's the other $999,800 for, buying a clue?

Sunday Morning Television Sucks

Yes, I'm going there. I'm not talking about Meet the Press, This Week With George Stephanopoulos or Face the Nation. I watch those shows and enjoy the content, usually. I'll digress before I get political. A habit I have had for years is immediately turning on the TV when I wake up. Problem is I wake up early enough to hear Robert Hagee's annoying-ass sermons. I don't know if any of you have seen or heard of this guy, but from time to time he puts on a show with an Iraq War background that DOES have political overtones. Separation of church and state, asshole! Watching this crap is like watching FOX News, you can only take so much of that crap before the remote starts screaming your name. There is also a slew of services on TV that just wind up putting me back to sleep. Can't we get some cartoons or something? Give the kids (and some of the bigger kids) something to watch. If you can't go to an actual church for whatever reason, try this: Grab your good book, step outside your front door (or back door if you want) and there you are. You don't have to go to a specific place dressed in your best clothes to show off to the rest of the flock. I've gotta run, I think ther's a bush out in my yard that just caught fire, I'll be back.

And Then There's this Asshole

Get this, a Jets fan is suing Bill Belichick and the Patriots for, *ehem*..."deceiving customers." He's pulling for (cue Dr. Evil) $184 million! The guy's name is Carl Mayer. He goes on to say, "They violated the integrity of the game" and "This is a way of punishing Belichick and the Patriots." First, Belichick already has been punished and second, this kind of crap has been going on for YEARS. Steroids are just as big of an integrity problem and is more top heavy than Pamela Anderson in a centrifuge, so are you going to sue all the NFL players for "violating the integrity of the game?" Get a life man, seriously. I'll even chip in for a coupon that help set you on the right path (see above) . I like reading good sports news and this ain't it. As far as your precious Jets are concerned...GO TITANS!!!! See your sorry ass on December 23. Kansas City plays your crappy team soon after, hopefully they'll get something going to knock what's left of your hopes into the dirt.

What about the other Madeleine McCanns out there?

I'm probably going to be called an asshole for saying this but, Why is there such a big fuss just over Madeleine McCann? What about the other economically middle or lower class children who are missing? What about the Black, Hispanic or Asian children? Where's their news coverage? Am I the only one who finds this disturbing? I just turned over from CNN earlier after hearing yet again about how there is no leads, the child in the picture wasn't her, yada yada. No disrespect to the family, but come on already. This is very similar to the JonBenet Ramsey case (also a tragedy). You know I thought about putting a picture of Madeline up for reference, but then I thought, what about a picture or two of other missing children of different backgrounds. Problem is, which do I choose? If I do choose, in a sense, I become as bad as the media cirus.

Dresden Files Cancelled!!!

This is what irritates me, just when you start to get into a show, they yank it. I'm not all geeked out over this show, but it was entertaining. I don't watch much prime time TV, but this was one of the few. The only shows I watch now are: Burn Notice, Dexter, Californication and Real Time with Bill Maher. Anyway, back to Dresden. I got into watching this about halfway through season one after my brother-in-law told me about it. I found it a refreshing change from my normal viewing, after all, you can only take so much Law & Order (all of them) and CSI (again, all of them). Funny thing is, I'm not alone in my dismay over the cancellation. This is getting more buzz than a Ready Whip up one nostril and a Sharpie up the other. This whole thing is like buying a pet, you know it's gonna end at some point, you just don't want that to be so soon. For thousands of Dresden viewers, their pet just got hit by the network truck and fled the scene of the accident not giving much of a crap...just like a lot of other shows.

DAMN HACKERS!!!

Okay, now I'm really pissed! Some fuctard hacker busted into my account on ebay and started trying to pawn his crap using my handle. The one consolation I have is that ebay was all over this like a wet t-shirt. They locked the account down and notified all the parties who were going to be victims...let's just say the jagoff was busy and was getting lots of response. Evidently, this whole thing originated out of Spain. How do you say in Spanish, "Keep your grubby little dick beaters off my shit!" Anyway, I must credit ebay with being so swift about getting this straightened out in such a short amont of time. The biggest problem was going through all the places I had accounts with and changing my password...that really sucked prong!

Commercials for Branson, Mo.

I live in the Springfield area, and every single day, I see those hokey Branson ads that make them and the people who live in this area look like a bunch of inbreds. I mean really, when people are driving through this state and stay at a hotel, they turn the TV on and see that crap. This is not a true representation of the residents here. Although, I have seen my share of questionable to the Darwin theory folks around the area. It just makes us all look bad. Black people don't like being profiled and neither do I. When I go out of state and talk with other people, the question always comes up, "So, where do you live?" I always roll my eyes and cringe when I hear that. Oh, and to those who live here and think they are part of the true south, forget about it, you're a mid westerner, DEAL WITH IT!

Move On from Moveon.org

I know I said I wouldn't get political, but this is going to be more of a complaint of a different sort, so bear with me. Does the moveon.org ad state lies? It's plausible. Does the ad contain truth? Again, it's plausible. Now, what has been done on capital hill since this ad? NOTHING!!! Actually they did manage to pass a resolution to condemn the ad, so what's next, give them the silent treatment and hold a hopscotch tournament? I am so sick of hearing about this crap and nothing getting done, so that is my real complaint. Look, if freedomwatch wants to create ads about how democrats are cross dressers, yet on the flip side, a lot of good legislation gets passed, then have at it. I'm sick of the moveon.org ad turning into a referendum on classified advertising. I really don't pay much attention to moveon or freedomwatch, so I did what a lot of other people should have done, stop eye balling the damn ad and move on already (no pun intended). The more attention you give something, the more power it gets, just like some asshole I wrote about previously (and will remain unnamed). So, if either side just can't seem to get past their childish antics, ignore them and get something constructive done. I'm still waiting on that heath care plan I've heard so much about and yet have seen so little.

Simple Common Courtesy

Today while driving to and from campus, I decided to play Mr. Nice Guy and let people in while driving through downtown traffic. I don't know what possessed me, but it just happened. Anyway, As I let these people in I kept watch on them as they moved in and...no wave. This is just a menial gripe, but it still gripes my ass when you purposely be nice and they see you motioning and theirs no acknowledgement. For those of you who don't acknowledge the courteous driver: May a thousand fleas of a camel infest your pubic hair.

Enough of O.J. Already!!!

Ya know , I love knowing the fact that the sorry piece of crap known as O.J. is in jail for whatever reason, but do I need 'round the clock coverage on this asshole? Enough already, this guy doesn't deserve even the negative side of the media coverage. I don't want to know what he thinks, says or does. If you must report on the shitastrophe of a human being, then just give me the basics and the end result, from there lets move on. Yes, it's great knowing that just maybe he might be getting tortured over this nonstop coverage, but I doubt it. He loves attention good or bad, so let's try not to give anymore to him, okay?...Oh crap, I just gave him yet even more attention, DAMN YOU O.J.!!!

Student Tasered at Townhall Meeting

When I saw this at first, I thought, "Damn, the cops are at it again." Then I watched the whole thing and got background on this dumbass who got tasered (you can probably guess who's side I'm on now). If he really wasn't so antagonistic he might have got his questions answered, if not and was still asked to leave, he could have sued and really made a statement. I would like to see this dumbass tasered again, truth be told, just for hell of it. He is a journalism student that brings shame to the profession. He also has a history of "attention getting" acts like standing on a busy street corner with a sign that says "Harry Dies" while holding the newest Harry Potter book. I wonder if they can perform an abortion on someone who is in their 60th trimester? I'm sorry, but the dumb bastard had it coming.

Top Secret Information

The other day (as part of my job), I had to call on a school district to get the names (again that's names ONLY) of the instructors that taught math and science for the Science Olympiad. I got one school district in particular that gave me the last names and when I asked for the first names I get: "I can't give that information out over the phone": WRONG!!! If I wanted, I could have got their names AND their salaries. They are state employees and thus are fair game. Anyway, even after I reminded her of that fact she still stuck with her explanation. So, while trying not to laugh at how stupid she was, I asked if her school had a website. I actually got a "yes" answer out of on that question, so I asked her to give it to me (over the phone) and I typed it in on my computer as we talked. After I get to the homepage, I go to the faculty part of the website and found not only the last name of the instructor...but the first as well!!! Big shock, I know. After I read all of the instructors names to her, I told her that was all I needed and before she could give any kind of lame excuse, I hung up on her. I never wanted to laugh AND strangle somebody at the same time before.

Rain of Terror

In southwest Missouri, the summer was mostly dry, not to mention hotter than the outer layers of Hell. So when this batch of rain that we have recently been getting was forecasted, it was of course, well received. Now that we have had 5 days of non stop rain, they're begging for it to go away. Make up your mind already! If your looking for the perfect application of rain, your only going to find it in the Pacific Northwest, which oddly enough, does NOT get the most rain in the United States. Of all Places, Mobile, Alabama gets more than twice that of say...the Seattle area. This whole thing reminds me of those fair weather fans of Summer. When it gets here, they're happy but when you get a bit too much or it starts getting extreme, they just want it to end. I've lived in a lot of places in the U.S. and I can say, your not going to find the perfect climate anywhere. Afterall, what is perfect? Let alone the perfect amount of rainfall that is acceptable to the local population. In summary, I'm just saying, be careful what you wish for and stop bitching about rain when your area clearly needs it. Besides, I haven't had a chance to wash my car yet and I had a lot of crusty bugs on the front. This rain will help with the debugging.

Mr. Pibb!!!

I have to admit, I'm a HUGE Pibb fan. The way I can get the stuff is to frequent the Sam's Club in Springfield, (where they have it on tap) Logan's Roadhouse, Silver Dollar City/Celebration City in Branson (sold on tap and in bottles) or go all the way down to Harrison, Arkansas just to get it in the 12-packs/2-liters. I know all about the Dr. Pepper clause, yada, yada , yada. But it really would be nice to have a choice between the two. Especially since they came out with Pibb Zero. I'm dying to try it since I also like Coke Zero and sadly enough, prefer it to regular Coca-Cola. I just wish there was a way to get Coke's attention to at least try getting in the stores for a trial run.

Read Before You Post!

Okay, with the last few threads from "anonymous" individuals, I have to tell you people: READ THE FRONT PAGE! I see that with the last few comments some have not seen the section to the right of the posts here. This is what annoys "me" not you and the rest of the world. For those of you who just read some parts to something and not reading further, I feel bad for you. Look, if you feel so angry or even slightly irked by what's here, then either start your own blog or better yet, move on! I've seen lots of blogs that annoy me and I don't thread crap or troll playing Internet crossing guard. Again, this site was for "my" catharsis and don't just make punk remarks, I then refer you to the right side where it is titled "Welcome To Those Who Are Fed Up" and pay close attention to the last part. Now..."I" feel better.

Just Answer the Question!!!

It never ceases to amaze me how politicians, celebrities or other publicly known figures are asked simple "yes" or "no" questions, they just can't say it. They have to go into a long winded shpeale about the answer and maybe, just maybe, they'll answer with a "yes" or "no". Can't they just give the answer and THEN explain why? This drives crazy everytime I have to ber witness to this.

Cigarette Smokers on Campus

While going to my classes I have to walk the campus sidewalks like everyone else. What pisses me off is the fact that there will always be some asshole with an uncontrollable urge to smoke and walk at the same time in front of me. I thought of an idea, if they want free range with tobacco products how about I take up chewing tobacco and while I walk to class, when some jackass blows smoke in my face, I spit my tobacco juice in theirs. Sounds fair to me. Cigarette smokers, in general, are selfish individuals. They feel the need to feed their habit regardless of the ramifications on others around them. Suicide is a selfish act, the fact that they do it slowly is just semantics. Smokers come up with all the excuses in the world for why they have the right to inflict their air pollution on someone. The fact that they have to make excuses and not give answers shows their guilt. Anyone who has a clue can tell the difference between an answer and an excuse. Point, there is no answer for smoking...PERIOD!

More Princess Diana

ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Okay, I get it, she's dead and she'll be missed...horribly! Let the woman rest in peace, please?!?! I see on CNN today they are (yet again) scoping the death of Lady Di. I wonder what Diana would think of all this commotion over her death and the morbid fascination that people have with it? I can't help but wonder if the big news channels are running out of new material. For the love of God, I implore all who feel the need to report more Diana news, stop it already! The horse is dead, stop beating it!

Cell Phones in the Wrong Places

It never fails, I'm in class every other day and some one's phone goes off in the middle of class. What's more is that now a days, instructors don't do much about it. This semester, however, is a different story. I have 2 instructors that will deduct attendance points or give failing grades on a test if your phone goes off in class or during a test. Halla-frickin'-lujah, it's about time some accountability took place over this inexcusable behavior! Same goes for movie theaters, you see on the screen just before the movie starts as a reminders for people to turn off their phones, yet what happens during the movie? Some idiot's phone goes off. It happened to me not even a few weeks ago in the theater when some jackass didn't turn off his phone and it went off. I just can't believe that people have such a selfish need to interfere with everyone else's good time or whatever, just so they can stay in touch with someone. This goes for you text messengers too, I hope you get carpal tunnel syndrome if you do that in class or in a theater.

Getting on the Freeway Doing Less Than 50 MPH

I was on my way home and while getting on the freeway some idiot decides that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to get on the freeway due to being scared of it. That's the only option I could think of for what I saw. While trying to get on, the idiot in front of me never got above 50, he even hit the brake just before hitting the flow! What would posses someone to get on the freeway if they can't meet the speed requirements to avoid getting themselves or others killed? I don't get it. I wish I had an explanation that was believable, but this was absolutely insane! If you can't speed up or merge, then just turn in your licence and stay home! I don't want to die because of some one's fear of traffic.

Studies Show That...

How irritating can you get? When you turn on the news you hear about(yet again) a new study that shows_______. I love it when they say that too much of this "may" cause that. For instance, the new study of diet soda: Studies show that drinking too much diet soda "may" lead to weight gain, higher blood pressure, etc. They never take a really long look in these "studies". Have you noticed that a lot of these studies get debunked later after further research? I just wish that the media would take the time to screen information before broadcasting it. They look like ambulance chasers when new information comes out, it's like a race on who can put this out over the air first. To the media: get a clue, get a conscience. This is all I have to contribute for now.

Music Today

For some reason, I don't think I'll be able to finish this without sounding like my parents. But, today's music sucks, period! Is it any surprise that there is always a reference to the 80's and 70's music? Why, because the term "artist" has lowered its standards. In the 70's and 80's, music was at it's peak and now look. The people I see getting nominated for Grammies and MTV music awards is truly sad. Have a gimmick, good track, and half-assed talent? Well, you meet the criteria. There is more disappointment in music than Hugh Hefner losing his Viagra prescription. Just my opinion, but there should be a funeral held for the music industry.

Profanity on Television

I actually could care less about how much of it there is on television. I have been hearing lately a lot of confessed 'Christians' who after watching a show(in its entirety), they simply are disgusted with the amount of profanity, they'll even tell you how many times each offensive word was said. Look, all I'm saying is, change the channel! The same goes for sex scenes that are tame compared to that of pay channels like Showtime, Movie Channel, Cinemax, Etc. There's a little thing called responsibility. Screen what your kids watch so they don't get exposed to it, next, if you yourself don't like what you see then don't watch you closet pervert! No one is going to screen your programs for you, you're an adult and need to act like one. Times are changing and unfortunately, those who don't like the new trends are getting upset because they're being left out. I'm not sure if it's really that, more or less, they are probably now the minority of what gets requested. I personally hate Reality TV, but it's everywhere, I just change the channel or turn the TV off and do something constructive. God forbid anyone has to stop watching TV and get some exercise or something like that. Before I forget, if you have to watch the whole show just to see how mortified you can get as the show progresses, you have issues...clearly.

Have It Your Way...Or Their Way?

This is not much of a complaint, but nonetheless, a complaint. When I go out to eat and say, order a cheeseburger, shouldn't that be what I get and just that? Then why do they add pickles, ketchup, mustard, and in some places onions? When you stroll up to the counter and order that cheeseburger they should then ask what you want on it. Me, I like my cheeseburgers plain, I don't need a garden thrown on top just because someone thought that that's how everyone likes them. There are a few chains out there who have managed to get this right by giving you just a cheeseburger, then ask if you want anything on it or better yet, you put it on yourself and however much of it you want on it. Putting stuff on that I didn't order because it just happens to be the way they do things is just so communist. It's bad enough to get this order taken from someone who just wants me and everyone behind me to go somewhere else besides their location. Like I said, a menial complaint, but still a complaint.

Should the Drinking Age Be Lowered to 18?

This topic is more top heavy than Pamela Anderson in a centrifuge. I watched coverage of this issue this morning on TV and it already had me irritated before it was over with. I say lower it. Why? First, I you can fight for your country and vote at 18, then you should be able to drink as well. I love to hear "experts" say, "Studies show that...Blah, Blah, Blah." You know that studies show a lot of things...when they are recorded! How many teenagers are willing to have their behavior accurately recorded. At that age, you're busy sneaking around and learning how to lie to your parents better. Second, I hear, "Eighteen year-olds can't make solid decisions at that age because there is a part of their brain that is still forming and drinking requires solid decision making skills." And enlisting in the military doesn't? Thanks for the ammo "experts". Louisiana already has a drinking age of 18 and they haven't fallen into chaos...that's what hurricanes are for(not the Pat O'Brian's kind). Lastly, the more you raise the drinking age, the more it will entice people of that age, it's true. Most people from the early 80's, when the drinking age was raised, saw from the get-go, the effect that it created and watched it grow with time. I don't support drinking at that age by any means, but I don't encourage the government forcing 18 year-olds to be more creative in their approach to deceive their parents and so forth.

...But It's a Dry Heat

I actually heard someone say, "yeah, it's hot here , but I sure wouldn't want to be out there in the desert where it's 115." I can tell this much, I've lived in Arizona, Washington(the state), Arkansas, and now here in Ozark, Mo. I will take 115-120 heat out in Arizona or Washington than 90-95 heat in Arkansas or Missouri. Humidity people, that DOES make a difference. I distinctly remember not even a year ago in Spokane where I drove around without the A/C on and saw a bank's sign reading 103. I thought it was way off, at the time, then I get home and later on the news came on and they reported a record 105 for the day! I will be the first to admit that I'm not one to do without A/C in the summer, I just can't take it. When it hits the 80's here, I hit the A/C. I believe that people who make such outlandish statements, as previously mentioned, have never been in desert climate. Anyway, as I said in a previous post, "I can't wait 'til fall." Now THAT is a true statement.

Summer...and Its Fair Weather Friends.

Yes, you know who you are. Those of you while in the dead of winter uttered the phrase,"I just can't wait 'til Summer gets here." Well, here it is and I hope you're happy. I got two words for ya, "Heat Index." The same people who couldn't wait for summer are probably saying they wished fall was here this very moment. Even when the ice storms hit the Springfield, MO area where I live, I was still content with the season. I happen to be a big fan of fall and winter. I'm not much of a fan of spring or summer. I've always said that there were three seasons here in this part of the world; fall, summer and Hell! It just so happens that Hell lasts longer than any of the others. So, for those of you who are HUGE fans of summer and are not so pleased right now, Bite Me! I hope you get heat exhaustion everyday the words "heat index" are used ( notice I didn't say heat stroke as that would be malicious even for me).

Seatbelt Laws and Helmet Laws

Nationwide, Click it or ticket campaigns are everywhere. Yet helmet laws are sporadic, why? Purely my opinion, if you inforce one, you enforce the other. In a sanse they are almost the same. They are saftey devices put in place to provide a measure of saftey for the driver and occompanying passenger. If helmeta are optional, then so should seat belts. If someone wants to tempt fate, let 'em. The Highway Patrol should be more occupied by the late mergers and left lane laggers, they are the real problems. I do use my seatbelt, but there are times that I get preoccupied with something and forget to use it, when I notice it, I make the adjustment. Just seems like a crappy way to get a ticket (and no, I was not pulled over recently for this). Again, this is just my opinion.

People Who Don't Merge in Construction Zones

This probably pisses me off as much as the "lagging in the left lane" I mentioned earlier. People see the signs, they see other people getting over in the lane being merged into, and yet they still haul ass to get to the front of the line and thus bottle necking the traffic behind them. And of course, some sap feels sorry for them enough to let them in anyway. New law, anyone who charges down the lane that is about to be closed, after clear indication has been made and visible as to which lane is being closed, has to submit to a 30 minute penalty on the side of the road while everyone he/she has passed gets to drive by them and taunt them if they see fit. If anyone who is guilty of doing this and happens to stumble upon this site and reads this, just so you know, there are others out there who have no problem with running you off into the median or ditch when you try pulling this crap. I'm not mentioning names, just informing all who read this that they do exist. And by the way, PISS ON YOU, YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS ASSHOLE!!!

Now On DVD, Now On TV

Every once in a while I like to rent movies, just like everyone else. But, what gets me is some movies that are now out on DVD later show up on TV (SPIKE, USA, TNT). The problem I have with this is, of course, EDITING! Have you ever tried to watch something like "The Usual Suspects" on regular broadcast? A great movie turned silly with all the dubbed words and missing footage. I actually saw a listing for "Showgirls"(obviously, one of the worst movies ever made, even the uncensored version). I couldn't believe that it was scheduled for 2 hours of airtime. With all the editing, it should be more like a 30 minute clip, unless they plan to run over an hour for commercials. The only movies I have ever watched on regular TV was "Harry Potter" films. The ones aired usually contain deleted scenes from the theatrical version. Does anyone ever get any distinct pleasure out of watching movies on regular television broadcast?

Nancy Grace...What A Disgrace!

WOW, and I thought FOX News was annoying. Move over Bill O' Reilly, there's a new shit disturber in town. Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ-and-the-marching-band! What a condescending, obnoxious, self-serving, callous, shallow, self-deluded, opportunistic, exploiting-the-weak-willed COW! I had no idea...really. I just happened to be flipping through the channels and came across her...show? I heard, vaguely, from my sister about her and really didn't give it too much thought, then to witness this atrocity of programming in action...what else can I say,but...DAMN!!! I would rather be strained through chain-link fence, than to see her on TV again. Even with the brief exposure, I almost feel compelled to consult with an attorney to see about suing CNN for the assault on my better judgement. I wonder if Hell has notice that they're missing one of their demon-spawn. I don't know if she has family or not, but if she does, I think a rescue mission or intervention is in order. I don't say this lightly, as I will provide supporting material to show that everything I have just mentioned has validation.

Screaming Children and the Parents Who...Ignore Them

What is it about Walmarts that attract parents who chose THAT particular time to not deal with their kids? Has anyone ever been to Walmart and NOT heard a screaming kid during your visit? What tells person that the best way to discipline your child is to just let him scream, maybe he will run out of energy after a while and calm down...(yeah, after 30 minutes of blood curdling screaming) I can't tell you how many times, when I witness this lack of parenting skill , that I would love to backhand the non responsive parent(regardless of gender). How about that calm, reasoning approach...(in a very quiet and effortless voice)"Now,Now, don't do that. I don't appreciate you acting up like this" What-the-hell-ever, you weak minded, self deluded piece of crap!
Okay, new rule...the next time you see a parent taking the 'passive' approach, the next closest and non-related adult, must take charge and take the child out of the store with the parent and bitch slap the parent with the child watching. Oh yeah, the offending parent must also give up what ever cash they have on them to the adult who had to take charge to compensate for the inconvenience. Just joking, of course...sort of.

Are People in the Media Getting More Rude or Is It Just Me?

I was watching an interview this morning and noticed that the guy giving the interview kept cutting off the other guy he was interviewing so he could ask another question. Soon as he interrupts and talks over the other guy, they both stop talking and then there is this awkward silence and then the interviewer apologizes for cutting him off. If he would have just let the guy finish his thought, this probably wouldn't have happened and would not have to waste time with the awkward silence and the time it took to apologize. I have noticed this on every station: CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS...etc. What's the deal? Everytime I witness this behavior, I find myself yelling at the TV like an idiot saying: "Shut the hell up and let the guy finish you asshole!"
The thought had occurred to me that this is not just in the media but with normal everyday conversations that people have. I have found that I am somewhat guilty of this behavior too. Did I learn this by being exposed to rude reporters and unconsciously adapt this into my everyday communication skills? Every once in a while I will catch a show like "Meet the Press" and the like, and they show footage from 'back in the day'. I don't see the same style of Q&A as I see now. I know there are time constraints, but is that a good enough excuse for this disturbing trend? If there is another reason why these people have chosen this new and inconsiderate way of communication, I'd like to hear it.

Driving Slow in the Left Lane

This, I have to tell you, is my biggest complaint. Where do I start? Not a day goes by when I'm hittin' the highway and some jackass wants to just sit there and cruise or play traffic monitor...HELLO!?!? In most staes now, this is illegal as it leads in the reasons for road rage. It used to just be a courtesy to get over, but now IT'S THE LAW!!! Here in Missouri I was suprised to find out that the fine for impeding traffic in the left lane is only $20! I know I'm not alone in this struggle for sanity on the road, is it so hard to just get the hell over, people? I'm normally a conservative driver, considering what I drive, but this really makes me want to do bad things to people on the road just to get them back. Anybody else have this problem?

Parking In the Handicap Space...and Not Even Handicapped!!!

I see on a daily basis, people who have those 'temporary' hanging handicap tags parking in the handicap spots and when they get out of their car, there isn't a thing wrong with them. Its funny how they don't want to leave the tag on their rear view mirror at all times, just when they need it. I can't help it, I'm urked at such behavior. Mind you, I'm not out to start a campaign to have these people rounded up and shot, but it is unsettling. I did see a guy at a Wal-Mart getting a ticket, while he was standing there, and as I walked by, I couldn't help but laugh with him seeing and hearing me. He didn't have a temp tag so it's obvious why he got it, but should this be no different for those who expoit the system? I'm curious to know how the rest of you feel about this.

Damn Rubber Neckers!!!

It's bad enough that someone gets in a car accident, but then someone with an insane amount of curiosity risks those around him/her just to get a good look at the damage. Damn those of you to hell! I see these people causing accidents on top of the original accident all the time. I've even witnessed the idiotic behavior first hand. I find myself looking at traffic in front of me, regardless of the damage off to the side because of these people, afterall, it's a saftey issue now. If any of you know of anyone who happens to be one of these idiots, would you please take time out of your busy day, and slap some sense into them...please? For those of you who are like me and are sick of these people risking our saftey just so they can get a morbid kick and curiosity appeased, by all means share your story and hopefully you'll feel better.

Prescription Meds on TV

I don't know about you, but , I'm getting sick and tired of seeing this stuff on TV. I mean, doctors and people in the medical profession should be the ones knowing about the newest meds to treat (notice I said 'treat' and not 'cure') certain types of ailments. This is just added fuel for the hypochondria fire.
You now hear about how presciption medication cases and news stories are springing up all over the place..,gee, I wonder why? I know that companies have a right to advertise, but where is the accountability?
I'm sure there are more people, besides me, who are tired of seeing and hearing about some poor schmuck's E.D. problem. How 'bout them genital warts? I used to think that watching a "Summer's Eve" or "Vagasil" commercial was uncomfortable. Is there anything that I've missed? Share your feelings with the group.

Lousy Tippers

I gotta tell you people, I live in the Springfield, Mo. area and I have observed a lot of stingy tipping. Those of you who are lousy tippers will probably say, "Well, they get paid by the hour, so..." Look, have you ever been a waiter or waitress? Do you know of anyone who is? Try asking them sometime about their job and the pay that goes with it. I asked a young waitress about how well the tips are for her and she had plenty to say. She nearly cried when she got a tip of $20 from me.
Whether you realize it or not, most servers have a good memory and will remember you the next time you come in. If any of you have seen the movie, "Waiting" you know where I'm going with this. I have always been a good to very good tipper and I do get remembered by servers. They sometimes get into arguements as to who will wait on me and that actually is kinda cool. So, for those of you who wait tables, Id really like to hear you .02 worth on this subject, don't hold back, this is a great time to let others know how you feel.
-Complaint Department Manager