Spaghetti Or Fettucine Alfredo?

I'm hungry and I can't decide. So, I asked myself, "Self, what would King Leonidas put on his pasta?" So I asked and got this response:

I did feel the boot in the end was a bit unnecessary, I just wasn't sure.

Don't forget, take a canned good to McD's and get a free McCafe drink hot or cold. No like coffee, then like the hot chocolate, it's part of the deal. Now, do I want regular or decaf?

EDIT: I decided that it might be a good idea to give you guys a heads up on Black Friday that's coming up. Due to the shitty economy, don't expect the Holy Grail of deals this year. Anyway, if you want to check out the ad scans of what's coming up, then click here

Honestly, Do You Need <--THAT--> Much Room???

Seriously! Last night, driving in metro Springfield and I'm at a busy intersection and I see a car ahead of me and to the right, someone who is at the same stoplight and stopped nearly 3 car lengths(no shit) away from the person in front of them. Is that much open real estate necessary? I'm all for traffic safety and all, but DAMN, 3 car lengths??? Did Wonder Woman trade in the jet for a stretch limo or something? What did I miss? Did the person in front of them produce an anal by-product so heinous to the point that in got into their ventilation system? I've seen my fair share of spazz cases, but this is bullshit.

I have seen this a number of times, but for some reason, it really struck a cord with me this time around. Again this was at night and I couldn't see who was driving, so I couldn't automatically assume the obvious that it was so old fart in their late 80's and should have ditched the license thing YEARS ago. For all I know, this could have been some teenager or young/old adult that got a hold of some skunk bud(if you have to ask, you lived a deprived life...know that and recognize).

Anyway, you wouldn't find this much gap in Michael Strahan's smile:

So help me, if it wasn't for the car in front of me, I would have pulled right in front of them and maybe moved back and forth a few times just for good measure. I mean to tell you there was a lot of room there. About as much empty space as in Rush Limbaugh's head, yet not enough for his ego. Please people, if you know anyone who drives like this, make a difference and either smack them or confiscate their license.

How Do You Apologize From Being A Shitty Friend?

Just this weekend, I reconnected with a real friend of mine that I had back in high school. Shortly after graduation, me and him drifted apart and it was ALL my fault. I had another friend that became a more frequent influence and trust me when I say it wasn't a good thing. I believe I have made mention of this pseudo friend some time ago and how he wasn't necessarily the best influence on yours truly. Well anyway, getting back to the friend that matters, I wrote him an email of sorts some time ago apologizing for my lack of judgement and for being such a rotten friend. In true form, he didn't even see things that way and said there was no need to apologize(at that point I could have crawled under a rock for feeling even more guilty for letting go a friend like that). He is THE ONLY person that I keep in touch with that I went to high school with as I pretty much wrote off my former classmates. Anyway, we got to talking and had a few laughs and even caught up in the goings on in each other's lives. It was as if no time had ever really transpired in the sense of the tone and demeanor in how we were able to talk to one another. I even felt like I was a teenager again, it's a nice feeling and great to get back to basics and what makes up the person that is me.

I have made mention to some of the people who frequent this blog that I am a lousy friend as I tend to be a bit self-absorbed at times and it has a tendency to shape my attitude and conversations. A friend like the one I have doesn't even look at that at all, he just knows it's me and rolls with it. Wow, again how do you apologize for being a shitty friend? Especially to a person that still regards you as being a great and best friend? People like this don't come around all the time and I now encourage any of you that may have a situation like me and try to extend that hand of friendship.

The thing is this, this great friend of mine did absolutely nothing to warrant such a senseless act on my part, nothing at all. It was all me and I have to just deal. This time, things are and WILL be different. So here's to a real friend, the kind of friend that I think everyone should have. Hopefully, you guys are "that" friend and not the other sorry ass that is...well, me.

I am the Complaints Department Manager and I most certainly approve this long overdue message.

What To Do Now the Election Is Over?

Now that all the fire is slowly dying from Tuesday, time to move on to something more entertaining until the silly season that I have decided to jump the gun on. How about some Walmart Bingo? Any takers? Thanks to Jim for his contribution to card number 3. For increased difficulty, try going at around 3 AM as to find the real "Who's Who" of mental illness. Also, this would be a great way to kill time while your getting your oil changed, if you go to the one in Ozark, you may be able to achieve blackout before it's done...on all 3 cards.

Help the Ozarks Food Harvest And Get A Free McCafe Coffee At McD's!

SCORE!!!

You heard right from November 1-23 you can get a free McCafe coffee at McDonalds by just donating canned goods to help the Ozarks Food Bank, it's just that simple. Straight from Denise Gibson at the Ozarks Food Bank:

“For any consumer that comes through the drive-in or steps into a McDonalds and brings a non-perishable food item, a canned good or a couple of canned goods, they will give that customer a free McCafe coffee.”

Don't like coffee or McD's coffee? Settle, there's an option for hot chocolate. Hmmmm, hot chocolate ay? Can I get an order of Kerry Washington to go?

EDIT:I have been told that this is NATIONWIDE! This is what you call, "Win, Win". Spend a buck or less and get one of these(picture).

I'm the Complaints Department Manager and I approve this message.(including the pathetic plea at the end)

Thank God Baseball Season Is Over!

Who needs Ambien? Watching 5 minutes of excitement, extended out into 3 hours of play, simply amazing. Only thing for someone like me to do at an event like this is what you see here. I know I'm shitting on someone's parade, if you plan on responding, it better be funny.

Prayer Chain Emails

Look, I hate these things because they are SO sappy and play on your feelings of guilt, which is about a half second thought in my head. You know which ones I'm talking about, they all want you to do the same thing, "forward this email to 10 other people you want to bless and your prayer and mine will come true." REALLY??? So, if I pass this on to 10 other people who will roll their eyes and curse me as they read it, MY prayer AND yours will come true??? So, you're telling me that Rachael Ray will finally end that sham of a marriage, drop her restraining order against me and actually WANT to mother my children? SHIT, COUNT ME IN!!!

I just love how these things have a convincing closing argument. "This really does work, it worked for me and it will for you too." This makes about as much sense to me as those people that win those HUGE poker tournaments and the first thing they say is, "I just want to thank God right now for helping me win this (gambling)tournament." Yeah, thank God for allow you to indulge your gambling habit with your children's tuition along with hundreds of others doing the exact same with disastrous results that you DON'T hear about while witnessing this wonderful Cinderella story. There's an even better closer that REALLY plays on the guilt, "If you don't forward this, my prayer won't come true either." WOW, this is like getting that phone call when you've missed somebody's birthday, kind of guilt. So, if I don't forward this email, that chick you think is banging your husband at work won't drop dead today? Damn, I'm tempted to save a life for preservation and for entertainment purposes right now.

I hope nobody out there encourages this kind of behavior. If you do and you forward this crap to me, I'll find a way to get you spammed with the best porno, Canadian pharmacy, amazing stock tips or Nigerian lottery letters of someone needing a foreign intermediary available.

I'm the Complaints Department Manager and I approve this message.