I've Been Busy Clubbing Baby Seals

For the last few days, weeks, months, I have not been feeling like myself...at all. For the most part, from what I could tell, it's been 2 really distinct problems for me: "I don't know" and "I don't care". Do I know what happened? NO. Do I care? At this point...NO. One thing I do know is, be careful what you put on Facebook.

Since my last post, I have been busy. I've been clubbing baby seals, working behind the scenes for Republicans AND Democrats, doing wet-work for both BP and WikiLeaks, while in what spare time I managed from that, sent Bristol Palin some anonymous photos of Levi(I had no idea it would go THAT far).



When I first started this post, I thought it would be brief and to the point, but after I thought up the examples, scenarios, questions...DAMN! That's just WAY too much work and I ain't getting paid for it. All I really wanted to post about was "outrage" and not by me, but with everyone else.

Bottom line is, stop being outraged about Katrina - 5 years after, Emmy's - who wore who and how they looked, restoring honor in D.C. - face it, it was nothing more than a boost to the D.C. economy and that's it. Still wonder where this is going? I'll leave you with some food for thought:

Katrina 5 years after - Hey Brian Williams and everyone else that showed up on Meet the Press in New Orleans, nice threads! How much did those clothes set you back(or us)? By the way, you get enough TV time? Did ya milk it enough? Enjoy the air conditioned ride back home.

Emmy's - Hey media, remember what you've been saying about cyber-bullying and how being skinny is high pressure on today's youth and we shouldn't be judged by what we have or have not? (Do I really need to explain that further?)

Restoring honor in D.C - Yo glenn(not capitalized for a reason), when we get to God Bootcamp, will there be punch served? Also, where will we sleep? Shall we get a hotel or do we all just sleep inside a bunker that will be surrounded by flammable liquids? Oh, the folks at Staples, Office Depot and Capital Hill(you know, "the enemy") wanted to thank you for getting all those folks to D.C. to unload some cash, it was a shitty summer.


Questions?


I am the Complaint Department Manager and selling out pays more than just sitting there stuffing your face and getting worked up.

What A Difference A Year Makes

Just did my taxes today. I always wait 'til it's close to the deadline due to the fact that it's a pain, I have a shitload of deductions and organizing it all is a pain in the proverbial ass.

For the past few years, I either have to pay a couple hundred bucks or get back maybe a hundred. Last year, I got the refund of just slightly over a hundred so, naturally I'm not too fired up to get maybe the same results. This year, that amount went up 10-FUCKING-FOLD...IN MY FAVOR!!! WOOOOOOOOT!!!

Granted, the reason why it went up so much was due to the recent education credits that rolled out under this new administration. Kinda makes me think that this really is a good time to be a college student and finally not feel punished for wanting to be one.

I'm just sayin'...




I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve the new tax laws...in my favor.

Why Do Men Cheat?

Newest celebrity gossip(as if I really give a shit): Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock. Are you kidding me??? NO WAY!!! I NEVER saw that one coming. Uh, yeah...right. If I only placed that bet, I would have won.

Real reason I bring this up? Sure enough, I see another "sex addiction" claim coming from this douchebag. I'm sick and tired of hearing "sex addiction" for the reason why this ass hat or that other insincere douchebag Tiger Woods as for why they cheated. Want to know the REAL reason? EGO. Don't like that short answer? Fine, I'll make it more marketable and sexy, "Ego Addiction". BOO-YAH!

From all the alleged sufferers of "sex addiction", including this poor guy who slept with 90 women in a month , nothing has made me believe that their problem was sex, but a more underlying problem with their ego. As anyone who has ever learned about psychology, there is a difference in ego and he unrestrained id. These fuckers(snicker) are full of themselves and nothing more. Not convinced?

Take the douchebag-du-jour Jesse G. James. (1) This guy is on his third marriage already and at least one of the other 2 wives was a porn star, not sure about the first. Nevertheless, he's been married twice before already: WARNING. (2) He's now(or should I say, "for now") married to Sandra Bullock. A woman who is HIGHLY successful and his success comes from what? Reality TV and being a well-known grease monkey. Constantly, his wife's success overshadows this guy and now he realizes he has to deal with that in some way. Deflated ego...check, free time...check, available skank willing to sleep with a married has-been...check. This is just one way that the ego of a man that has no business being married needed to be stroked, remember that, one way. The others should be more obvious.

Women cheat too, with the exception of a few cases, they cheat mainly for different reasons and it's WAY more personal. Any way you slice it, there is no "sex addiction" in any of this. These guys are at fault, PERIOD! Stop allowing these douchebags an easy way out by filling their heads with shit that lets them think that there's something else to blame and they have a "condition". It's bullshit! Someone talk me down, if you can.


I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don't approve the "sex addiction" message.

DO NOT PUSH ME!!!

Got your attention, didn't it? I found this amusing while going about my business flying around in the Stinger Missile today.

Yeah, I can't tell you how many times I got behind a dump truck and said to myself, "SELF! Do you think this guy would mind if I gave him a little nudge?" I know the Stinger Missile could take it, but...you know, I'm feeling a bit frisky. I'll push that bastard myself...uphill...BOTH WAYS! I gots that kind of skrempf.


Just so you know, dump beds are actually not as strong as they look, they tend to get warped and with the right touch in the right spot, can easily screw up the hydraulics. So, on second thought, I better not show off my mad skrempf as I wouldn't want to screw up a perfectly good dump truck just to prove a point. Sorry, ladies.


I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this shameless self promotion of my skrempf.

That Ain't Right!

Something that hasn't been around for a while, making a return. For those of you that know the deal, same shit, different...month(?). Everyone else, if you've been exposed to something so fucking stupid that it just pisses you off to no end, leave it here and feel better having done so. It's time to vent.

For me, the damn kin has done been silent fer a spell. Lately, it seems like I'm getting distracted by a lot of stupid shit, nothing major, but it's distracting.

Anybody got someshin' else to bitch about?

I Stand Corrected...

On the last post, I thought the email that got forwarded to me was "one of the worst/stupidest/irresponsible ones yet." Apparently, I stand corrected. Once again, the fucking retards are out of material and found something so damn stupid, that it must have been proofed and researched by a teabagger. I just wish my brother-in-law's kin would just admit that they don't like having a black president. In the words of Chris Rock: "Could ya be a man? Could ya be a fuckin' man?" Obviously, I have no problems saying what's on my mind and I'm unapologetic and shameless. Anyway, here's what those dumb fuckers sent:

Subject: What A Comparison



I think these 2 pictures make some kind of statement!!!!!!!!!!



Here is what Obama needs set up to talk to a few
school children. Not much room for kids. Still needs to have the teleprompters.
The secret service guy in back keeps eyes out for
any terrorist-type-8-year-old with tea partying parents.



Here’s what the last guy needed.

IN GOD WE TRUST. BUT NOT "OBAMA".(This is what you call christian douchebaggery)

Now, I know my brother-in-law loves his family, but....(You know, I'm really not sure where I was going with this). Anyway, I knew about this bullshit "comparison" from some time ago and it was also disproved at the same time. I guess these douchebags didn't get the memo, let alone they probably can't even spell it. To their chagrin, my brother-in-law had, once again, a response was made that pushed their noses in this pile of shit:

Not so....

That picture was for the media conference BEFORE he talked to the children. Correct picture but wrong context...

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/photos/6thgrade.asp

More propaganda?

Once again, I don't know how he retorts so diligently, family or not. (You can see why an invitation to the family reunion never gets to me as laughter is not an appropriate way to respond). If You have family members that are this fucking stupid and/or racist, you have my sympathies. I guess trying to get them to stop sending stupid shit like this will be about as easy as telling them that mullets and rat tails are no longer acceptable hair styles.


I am the Complaint Department Manager and I wish this part of the family would stop reproducing...I don't care how attractive their sisters/cousins are.

You Can't Escape Redneck Kin with Access to Them There Internets

This is the kind of shit he(and me by proxy) has to put up with. The following is an email that was forwarded to him, of which he answered appropriately minus the carnal verbs that I would have personally thrown in for good measure(I'm not making this shit up):

Subject:Fw: Keep your feet off the desk!

Does this photo of President Obama in the Oval Office convey anything about his attitude and arrogance?
Would you speak with the Chief of Staff, your Chief Economics Adviser, your Senior Adviser, or anyone, with your feet up on the Resolute Desk –
a gift from Queen Victoria to President Rutherford B. Hayes in 1880?


This arrogant, immature, self-centered man has no sense of honor, or simple decency.
While this posture is disrespectful in any culture, it is not appropriate in any executive setting. Further, in over half of the cultures of the world,
it is recognized not only as disrespectful, but as an extreme insult.
He thinks of himself as a king, not as a servant of the people, humbly occupying our White House for his term in office.
Electing him was an enormous mistake and will cost us in many ways, for generations.

IN GOD WE TRUST. BUT NOT "OBAMA".(Ripped from the pages of the new "Stars and Bars" version of the bible, no doubt)



The name(s) of the retarded individual(s) responsible for sending this to my brother-in-law will be withheld as to not further damage their already stellar, christian reputation. The response to this was "tasteful" in my opinion as if it were up to me, I probably would have added more than the aforementioned carnal verbs.

What's next? A video of him leaving the bathroom without washing his hands? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!! This is just a sample of what I get to take a peak at almost on a daily basis. This was one of the worst/stupidest/irresponsible ones yet. Of course, I have more to say about this, but that would turn this into a long-ass post and I'm not fucking interested in that.


Now for my brother-in-law's response:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/photos/desk.asp
Real Photo, Inaccurate Description

Besides, showing soles of shoes is not "rude" in America - you know, western culture where we live. Now someone is trying to defend the customs in other parts of the world (Middle East, Thailand, Korea and some parts of Africa) which is not HALF THE WORLD.

Propping of feet might not be commonplace, but certainly inaccurate to say - NEVER done.

Just check out SNOPES that show George W. Bush and Gerald Ford doing the same damn thing!

Let's stick to the truth, if at all possible.

The name of my brother-in-law will be withheld as to not further embarrass him in regards to the actions taken by his "christian" kin.



I am the Complaint Department Manager and this is why I support abortion past the 89th trimester.