Monday, June 23, 2008

Today's Sightings and Musings


I saw and experienced some things today that put my Single Core Cranium II Thought Processor on sensory overload today. Intel inside??? I can only speculate. Anyway, I actually had to go out and earn some money today and this time I had to road trip to Branson and Springfield. I believe that with gas prices the way they are, a 35 mile(one way) trip to Branson qualifies as a road trip. I am ashamed to admit that I was not able to capture some of the sightings via camera phone as it would mean putting the car in the ditch just so you could get a glimpse of what I saw, forgive me. While driving I managed to get a glimpse of an RV pulling a Toyota Prius, no big deal right? Then I thought, that looks a bit perplexing. A gas hog towing a gas miser(pause for reflection...put on music if you want, I care). I've seen this picture about a million times and it just now hits me. Am I the only one who views this as a bit off?

From that point, I wound up traveling to Sam's Club(I hate those bastards...but that's because it makes my MasterCard burn a hole in my pocket just so it can reach the hand...not MY hand, the cashier's). This is one of the very few places around here you'll find Mr. Pibb on tap, WITH UNLIMITED REFILLS!!! I have a weakness for the stuff, but it wields a powerful double-edged sword. First of course, I find myself making frequent trips to the bathroom to unload the mass quantities of liquid(don't forget to wash your hands), but that ain't the worst part. Sure, it is a joy for taste buds, but there is second "business" trip I'll have to make to the bathroom and this "business", I flat out refuse to handle at the Sam's Club's bathroom. Let me put it to you this way, if you find yourself getting backed up plumbing, Mr. Pibb will dislodge ANY clog that gets in it's path, screw Ex-lax, that's for people who want to teach their kids lessons why you don't raid mom and dad's chocolate stash. Oh Jim, if you are reading this, 1000 Styrofoam cups for 20 bucks in the 8 oz. size, drink up dude.

Anyway, while leaving Sam's to go to Home Depot, I was at the stoplight to get on to HWY 65, when to my left, a guy in a Dodge Neon starts to rev his engine at me...I laughed so hard I pee'd myself a little from yet more leftover Mr. Pibb. As I let Speed Racer go, I felt the other side of that double edge sword swinging for my lower quadrant and there was no dodging it. The Home Depot visit lasted all of about 5 minutes, by far the fastest time I've ever spent in Home Depot. I had to make a delivery and quick...I now know what brown can do for you...and I don't like what it did for me. In a twist of irony, after I got home, I had a UPS package waiting for me on the front porch, I shit you not.

Moral of this story: Even though this wasn't a bad day, I can literally say my day turned out like crap.

10 comments:

Whiner Girl said...

Wow ... I have mixed feelings about this post. It's sooo TMI ... and yet, it's sooo frickin' hilarious!! Thanks for sharing ... I think.

Kim said...

Hehehehe. :-)

You know, though, I kind of can understand the point of a gas hogging RV towing the Prius. If the people in the RV are full timers and they want to be able to get around town when they get to wherever they're going, they might want to save money on gas, so they try to get a fuel efficient tow vehicle. That actually makes sense. I mean, if they're full timing it and they have one of those mobile mansions that truly is their home, not just a camper for little get aways, then they're going to need to drive and it'd be a pain in the ass for them to have to unhook everything when they wanted to go to the grocery store.

The people that amuse me are the people either pulling a 5th Wheel with a Hummer or hauling a Hummer with a mobile mansion.

California Girl said...

Ha ha ha Hee hee hee - ok, you almost made me pee with this post. Way funny!

Rhea said...

hahaha Funny post. It cracks me up to see a Neon revving it's engine. Mr. Pibb rocks!!

CHATTI PATTI said...

OMG! I haven't seen a Mr. Pibb in ages!! Sorry about the "shitty" day!! LOL

Kim said...

I think Mr. Pibb, Dr. Pepper and Cherry Pepsi are all the same thing, just different packaging.

tysgirl said...

You live in the wrong state, here we have Mr. Pibb on tap everywhere.

limpy99 said...

Actually, Mr. Pibb comes out of the faucets in Tysgirl's state.

Complaint Department Manager said...

Ah shit, limpy beat me to it!

tysgirl said...

Shut it, Limpy.