The Low Down

First off today, I went and got the A/C fixed, took 2 1/2 hours. Came home and started organizing my stuff together, washed the car, etc... Then I mowed and trimmed the front and back yards. Somewhere in between doing all this, I ate at some point. Okay, enough of the daily grind fluff.

Now, what I will be trying to accomplish here is to make posts on a daily basis for the next 3 days. During this time, I'll be hitting some of my old hangouts. You're going to get the good and the bad of what happens. I'll tell you right now, I pretty much know my way around Little Rock(and places in between) so, if you need the 4-1-1 on what to do or where to go(and not go), I'll set ya straight. Hopefully this will work out right, but keep in mind, I'll be using Alltel's wireless service as an ISP to take care of all my shit and all I can do is hope for the best.

I remember a time when Rachael Ray did a show that took you around the Rock. Thing is, a lot of these spots were in The Heights and other nice parts of Little Rock. When I saw the list, first thing that popped into my mind was, "You gotta be shittin' me?!?!" Rachael should have come to me first, I woulda helped her out.

TO BE CONTINUED

COMING SOON: Complaint Department Manager - Road Edition

By the end of this week, I will finally be getting a bit of a vacation, a mini vacation really. I'll be heading to Arkansas and in the process, will be taking photos, visiting old hangouts and providing points of interest along the way. I've got a LOT of places I haven't seen in over 5 years and I'm anxious a bit to see how things have changed(I've heard things lately) and try to find people I used to hang with. If this turns out the way I hope it does, there will be a Fall edition.

STAY TUNED

UPDATE:

The A/C in my car JUST went out. Fear not, I just got a hold of the guys down at Autocool Radiator & Automotive and they are able to squeeze me in when they open up tomorrow. They're may not be located in the best part of Springfield, but they do give the best service, they're quick, they give it to you straight and they don't treat you like an idiot...unless you're just asking for it.

New Blogger On the Block

Just today, my sister decided to immerse herself into the world of blogging. You can check out her first post at The Day Tripper. She's going to be a future massage therapist and will be, more than likely, talking about what goes on while she's going through her schooling. This is more of an outlet for her just as this blog is an outlet for me.

So, if you have some spare time, stop by and welcome her to community.

Khloe Kardashian: The Complexion For the Protection And More

When happened upon this tid bit story about Khloe Kardashian's DWI arrest and actual conviction, I started to think that maybe, just maybe that the law was finally going to start making an about face with the select form of justice it has for the rich and/or famous people. But then after reading that article, I realized that it was all a facade(big shock, I know). I guess they never thought of making a transfer to another facility. This whole thing reminded me of a story that happened to me a very long time ago with a former friend of mine, let me take you back.

As I said, A very long time ago, me and a former "friend" of mine decided to raise some serious hell one night. We were both very drunk and we both did some very stupid things. Eventually, the cops got involved and just like that the party was over. We BOTH got charged with alcohol related crimes as well as him getting an additional charge for being a nuisance. When it came time to face the music, I learned that the judge that presided over my case AND his, threw his charges out before his court appearance. Me, on the other hand, had to face the music and got what was coming to me, no breaks...NONE!

Now, let me give you some background on my "friend". His dad went to law school a long, long time ago with a former president of ours and oddly enough, so did that same mudda fuggin judge that presided over BOTH of us. His dad made a phone call and got his son's charges thrown out, but not at any time did I come into the equation.

The moral of this story is this: While both me AND my "friend" had the complexion for the protection, I however didn't have the clout for the bailout. So when I caught wind of this story, I immediately came back to that moment when I got in a lot of trouble while someone else, just walked away. This is why I state that not only does Khloe Kardashian have the complexion for the protection, eventually they remembered that she had the clout for the bailout. Oh yeah, justice was served, 173 minutes my ass! Now for the fun stuff:

Here's what I'd like to have happen to Khloe...and her sister



And that "friend" of mine, this is the only thing I ask of him:

Happy Anniversary To A Friend In Nashville

My best friend Chris and his lovely bride Susan have been married 3 years already. Chris, if you happen upon this, I just wanted to say...

THIS IS FOR YOUR LITTLE PUNK ASS:

Don't Have GPS?

If you don't have one of those nice little units and don't mind finding your way old school, here's a site that will get you a map to the state of your choice. Oh, did I mention that they were FREE?!?!

Enjoy

That Ain't Right!

I just realized, I haven't done this in a long time, so I'm knocking the dust off and putting it back out there. For those who are new to this here's how it goes: Got something that really pissed you off recently? Wanna share your feelings with the group? Throw it down here and leave it here, walk away a bit more refreshed. Think of it as a rant burial plot. I'll start. I haven't had a vacation in almost a year and I REALLY need it. Thanks to the month of June, I got my plans hosed. I will, however, be fixing this in the next 2 weeks as I got something cookin'.

Anybody else got somethin' to share?

Retirement Looks Good For The Complaints Department Manager

I now have a more favorable outlook on the retirement years thanks to this guy. In fact, this may very well be what I will look like when I go public. Cesare Bonizzi, 62 now goes by the name of Father Metallo and is gaining in popularity. Father Metallo is to star with Iron Maiden at the Gods of Metal festival over in Europe. Who says heavy metal can't lead to a higher path or calling?

My future just keeps looking brighter and brighter. Go ahead and check out this clip off of youtube, I guarantee you won't get Rick Rolled. This particular clip is in Italian but you get the gist of it.

BEHOLD MY FUTURE

ROCK ON PADRE!!!

Two Stages Collapse at Rocklahoma

And here I was all bummed out because I wasn't able to get V.I.P. Tickets or enough people to go with me. I look back on that now as being a good thing. Evidently, a storm front moved in packing winds in excess of 60 MPH and collapsed the 2 side stages. No one was on or performing at the time so thankfully, no one was seriously injured. There were a few injuries while people were running from the weather and the collapse. Even with the storms moving in, they rocked on. Best part was for these people, not one of the performing bands cancelled.

I will say this much, I have been to a LOT of concerts and I've even seen shows in the rain...it sucks, BIG TIME!(well, only if you're sober) If I would have been there, I might not be in a good mood right now as it would have tainted the experience for me. I'm in the process right now of putting something together (vacation wise) up around K.C. this October and it looks VERY promising.

Don't Start None...There Won't Be None

I have a little saying that is spelled out nicely to the right of the blog and now I have the perfect caption. There's a big difference in debating an issue and just plain talkin' shit. Doesn't matter who you are, but most importantly this is for those who post anonymously and then bolt. When you put yourself out there and find yourself about to throw down a punk card on someone, think twice before you do, you're just going to look like these posers pictured.

So, to all those brave anonymous commenters out there I say, "Don't start none...there won't be none." Get a blog and get known, please.

Signed, The Management

Insomnia Sucks!

I pretty much feel like this little thug of mine right now. I don't know why it is this way, but I can't seem to get my mind to shut the hell up! I do this regardless, but lately it's getting worse and I'm losing sleep over it. For the last few weeks, I've been getting about 4 hours of sleep and IT'S GETTING OLD! Why is it that when I get tired, I feel sleepy...my eyes are getting heavy...but my mind just won't shut it off! I find myself useless the next day and more out of it like as if I was on a Methadone drip. I'm tired and cranky. I need a damn vacation.

New Rule: Tila Tequila and Bret Michaels Must Get Married

Why? Simple, those 2 losers deserve each other. But, before they recite nuptials, they must BOTH be spayed and neutered, we don't want more accidents like Brittney and k-fed running around now do we? Tila and Bret are such a travesty to humanity that I may just go ahead and dub them as another Axis of Evil. Reason being, they've had 2(count 'em 2) chances of screened and filtered product to find a special connection and FAILED! Not to mention the numerous chances OFF camera. Both of their shows also contribute to the dumbing down of society and the landslide decline of human dignity. By the way, just what is the deal with Tila? Why does a good chunk of the male populous think she's(or it's) hot? I think she(or it) looks like a Filipino trans testicle with a delusion factor of 10. Anyone still think she(or it) is hot? I'll show you what magic touch ups, make up and lighting can pull off. Here she(or it) is in FULL makeup mode:


"Quick, take the shot! I can't hold in my boys any longer!!!"


Now, check this out, the REAL Tila:



"Why didn't you tell me my Adam's Apple was showing? Now I 'll have to start using the Men's bathroom...AGAIN."

Moving on, has anyone seen Bret without his token cowboy hat or bandanna? Just how far back does that forehead go? I would put a photo of Bret complete with caption, but his ego is just too large to fit in here, sorry. Just kidding, I did however find some very good photos that sums it all up:

This one pretty much says it all:


Don't forget the "Buy one get 2 free" on the fireworks as well.



This week on Rock of Love 52, Bret shows how you can pick his guitar, but not his brain.

A good chunk of 80's heavy metal artists had their careers go up in smoke, but most of them left with dignity intact by just fading away. Bret, do you really think you still have more to offer this world than cheesy music? Even with all the available opportunities they both had, they'll never rise higher than that of a game show host, only game show hosts are liked more. Add to that the fact that being on TV hasn't polished their careers' much at all.

In summary, any person that competed or was a part any reality dating show just proves to the whole world exactly what kind of failure they are in life and love, they just feel compelled to prove it on TV. Put it to you this way, you can take a turd, dip it in gold then encrust it with diamonds and emeralds and polish it up nice. Bottom line...IT'S STILL A TURD!!!

Paula Deen Is Also an Axis of Evil

Hey ya'lllllll, today were gonna deep fry mac and cheese and freebase some pork fat! From my kitchen, to yeeeerrrrrrzzzzzzzz.


Take 1 large Myocardial Infarction, saute with arteriosclerosis, lightly fold in a few random thrombosis then serve it up with a stroke and a side order of type 2 Diabetes and you have Paula Deen. I finally get to watch Food Network again after avoiding it for over a year due to the temptation to over indulge and low and behold, I found out why that was a good call on my part. I forgot that this is the same person who brought us Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding. Anytime you have a dish that starts out with 2 dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts(again, this is just ONE of the ingredients), you've got some serious issues. Just that dish alone qualifies her as another axis of evil. But wait...there's more! If I have to hear that evil witch cackle ONE more time, I may dump a bucket of water on the witch just to watch her melt. I also have to hear that over played token southern accent that to me is almost a "nails on the chalkboard" thing as the cackle. Lots of people think she's just precious, I think she's precocious...to an obesity program. How can you suck down that much fat and cholesterol and still be walking around? If she ever cut herself, I'm convinced that brown gravy will come out. It pushes my point further along that she's in league with Lucifer. By the way, does anyone else think she looks like Hillary Clinton if Hillary packed on 50 lbs and 20 more years of a cholesterol laden lifestyle?

I actually like Food Network, afterall, there is a lot of really good information floating around some of the time slots, but there are problems here and there that could easily be fixed. I may ponder this further and make a few observations known soon, I just don't know if it's worthy of being brought up or not. The observations, of course, are certain hosts of some of these shows. Again, I may point them out and take a few shots, but I don't know if it's worth me doing or not. I will say, Paula Deen is by far, the main complaint I have with them right now. I will say that there is a host on Food Network that is a blogger and if that person ever saw this and wondered if they may make the pot shot list, rest easy, you are actually a bright spot.

Remembering: Barry White and Luther Vandross

I know I'm mostly known for my taste in head bangin' thrash tunes, but as a musician, I know greatness when I hear it. It seems hard to realize, even now that 2 of R&B's most notable icons are gone. They departed this earth on different years, but the dates were actually within a few days of each other. With this in mind, I'm electing to keep my brain from frying on metal overload by listening to 2 greats that have a sound they owned and can NEVER be duplicated. I encourage all of you to do the same as me today, because without these 2 larger-than-life legends, MOST of you wouldn't even be here right now. Don't be reading this and pretend you don't know what the hell I'm talkin' about, you know.

Barry White (September 12, 1944 – July 4, 2003)



Five years ago on this very day, Barry left this world and went to a place of peace. I can only marvel at a performer that today's artists couldn't touch even on their best day, I don't care WHO you bring up from today's music scene, none of them can bring the smoothness like Barry. Today, it's nothing but fluff and marketing saturating the music scene. You know, Barry didn't even need a microphone, he had a voice you just had to shut the hell up and pay close attention to. To put it more bluntly, Barry...gets...ALL the ladies.

Luther Vandross (April 20, 1951 – July 1, 2005)



It's still hard to digest the fact that he's been gone for 3 years. I can honestly say, when I heard the news of his passing I felt a part of me sink somewhere deep and very cold. It's the only way I know how to describe that feeling and even as I type this, I actually have feelings of resentment to life itself as I know he had so much more to contribute to this world. Like Barry, he had a voice you could only marvel at, but on a totally different level. Much was made of Luther's personal life which I found very distasteful(the gossip) for those who just had to speculate. Luther had a melody that no one could touch, even today...just like Barry. What did I say about Barry and the ladies? Even from a guy's standpoint, I still get goose bumps when I hear that voice.

I'm only giving brief commentary on this remembrance as I really couldn't do them both justice. If anything, I'm just putting the idea of remembrance to all who may read this. Again, I know I'm known for being the token head banger, but if any of you actually knew what was in this guy's stash, you'd be beyond surprised. I actually surprise myself sometimes when rediscovering artists I never really gave much attention to.

On this Fourth of July, I will be spending time with my family, cooking outdoors and of course doing my thing with store bought pyro. What could be more American, right? But most importantly, I will be giving my respects, paying tribute and giving a heart felt thanks to 2 icons who gave this world a gift that not only left me touched and joyful, but also left me with feeling of sorrow.

From a very appreciative soul, thank you gentlemen.

Cow Appreciation Day July 11!

Chick-fil-a is having cow appreciation day on July 11. Dress up like a cow from head to toe and you get a free combo meal.*

*If you are Nancy Grace, all you have to do is show up.

28 Days Later...A Different Kind Of Horror, Coming To An End

By the looks of the credit card statement, it's been 28 days since the shit started...and now shows signs that it is ending. I don't know about you, but June is the "OFFICIAL MONTH OF SUCK"! But funny thing is, My luck started changing EXACTLY on July 1. I'll give great examples on the coincidence. This past Saturday(still in the month of June) I was doing some tedious yard work, when something told me to turn around. What I saw was a far away look at this:



Just more icing on the crap cake of June. Well, July 1 rolls around and low and behold, I get a guy from one of the Subaru forums(had to have been an adult) who wants to buy my performance parts. Thinking this was too good to be true, I called him on it and sent him my price to have it shipped to his home. Not even an hour later he agrees and a little later, I got paid. I was in total shock to say the least. Dude got a great deal and I got what I needed. On the same day, a roofer came by to give me an estimate on repairing my improvised repair job I did to the roof. Guy tells me that it won't be necessary unless I really wanted it to be done and he also gave my roof the once over and found it to be in great shape, again I was shocked. Not only did he assure me that my work was adequate, but that he was honest enough to tell me the rest of the roof was tip top. To top that off, I had purchased a DVR that "ceased to be" and I had an extended warranty on it. They told me it couldn't be fixed, so they refunded me THE ENTIRE PURCHASE PRICE! I had this thing for 2 years and I get the whole enchilada. Keep in mind, this was all on the same day. So, instead of money going out, it is finally coming in. Like the saying goes, "What a difference a day makes."