Saturday, June 6, 2009

More Fun With Parking Lot Douchebags

First things first. I am of course, now in Orlando. When I got here, me and the herd darted for the rental car place. It was at this time I decided to upgrade and go for a convertible...so worth it! Only trouble here was deciding on which color:

Just as I snapped this picture, I hear this very loud "CRUNCH" sound. I turned around and saw this:

Here's a tip to all car lot owners, never let the new guy drive around the lot in one of your vehicles, let him try to navigate by using his own. If you don't, this will happen to you. This poor sap was trying to back a minivan up to get a better run toward the waiting customer, when suddenly, CRUNCH! The guy ripped the frickin' side door right off the minivan and into the street it went. Anyway, we picked up our cars and headed off to the condo we are staying at right now(by the way, they have piss poor reception for Wi-Fi). After we got unloaded, we headed off to Bahama Breeze for dinner(which was out of this world good). Upon arrival into the parking lot, I found this douchebag blocking 2 spots on a Saturday late afternoon and in a busy parking lot:

Notice that I finally settled on the sky-blue colored car.


Before I forget, I do need to mention one other thing. When flying out of most airports, please know that hey board according to row numbers and not "first in line gets the best seats". Take, for instance, some of these dip shits:

Once calls were made for the first rows to be seated, a mad rush swarmed the gate. Don't be a gate hogging douchebag. Besides, I waited patiently and I already figured out that even if they get on board before me, I got there early for the boarding pass and got a window seat, so even if they do get on first, they'll just have to deal with my ass in their face and I won't guarantee that I'll be on my best gastro-intestinal behavior.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this message.

3 comments:

Horse-farmer said...

Hey, put a note of the vette that says "sorry I ran into your car, everyone thinks I am leaving my name and address, teach you to take up two spots, sucker"

then wait and watch while the idiot searches his car for the damage.

enjoy florida and the sand

The Short (dis)Order Cook said...

Horse Farmer has a great idea.

Good thing you don't work where I work. We're all crammed into these tiny spaces and fight for the best ones. It's a parking lot nightmare.

The first people on line don't get the best seats on the plane, but they do get the best access to the overhead baggage compartment.

Complaint Department Manager said...

Horse-farmer - If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were family. I'm hoping to nail down the beach thing to Wednesday or Thursday.

S.D.C. - Yes, it is a great idea, the thought crossed my mind as well after that car was still there even after we took our time eating at the place. It had to have been an employee, either a bartender or the manager.

They may get the best access, but they also get the fury of my suitcase being thrusted upon theirs with NO regard for their contents, that's just how I roll.